2010 August | Rape and Sexual Abuse Support Center

Lifestyle Changes and Prescription Drug Treatment for Blood Pressure Health

It is very important to control your blood pressure if you have been diagnosed with that ailment. High blood pressure can lead to more serious conditions and complications such as heart disease. Medical professionals say that a blood pressure of 140/90 is optimal. However, if a patient also has kidney disease or diabetes, a lower rate is desirable.

You can control and lower your blood pressure lifestyle changes. You may also need a prescription drug treatment as well.

Eating a healthy diet is one of the major ways to lower blood pressure. A healthy diet can also reduce the risk of developing problematic pressure rates. Reduce the intake of fats and cholesterol and increase the intake of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains.

Today’s sodium intake recommendation is to consume no more than 2.4 grams of sodium a day. Studies show that people with an intake of less than 1,500 mg per day can lower their blood pressure.

Eating a healthy diet and reducing salt should help with the next step of maintaining a good body weight. Overweight people are at a higher risk for blood pressure complications. Losing weight will almost always lower your blood pressure.

Getting on a regular exercise plan will also reduce your blood pressure. If you haven’t been exercising regularly, check with your physician and then start slow. Try to work up to 30 to 60 minutes of daily exercise.

Quitting smoking and reducing your alcohol intake will also help you achieve a better blood pressure. We all know the effects of tobacco — heart disease, cancer, and more — so there’s no reason not to quit. In addition to reducing the harmful effects of alcohol (damage to the liver, brain, and heart), reducing alcohol intake can help reduce calories that will help in maintaining that healthy weight goal.

Following these tips will lower your blood pressure as well as help your overall health.

Filed Under: Drug Treatment, General Tagged With: Health, Heart disease, Hypertension

When a Friend is Being Abused

: Image via Wikipedia

So, you suspect that a dear friend is a victim of domestic abuse; you seen suspicious signs such as your friend’s inability to spend time with you or to even see family. There have been unaccountable bruises or your friend has sustained an injury that they are hiding. Your suspicion is growing into a pretty sure knowledge that something is amiss.

The burning question that rises to the surface is: should you do something about this and, if so, what steps should you take? These are good questions because if your friend is in an abusive situation, it is essential that they receive help. However- escape from such an environment needs to be done carefully or the victim may be put in an even more precarious situation than they are presently in.

Here is a list of Must Do’s:

Do talk to your friend; tell them your concerns and most important: LISTEN. Do offer your support and help, if they need it. Do let them know you care about them.

NEVER do the following:

Never wait for them to speak to you about their situation. Never place blame anywhere or on anyone; never put pressure on your friend to take action. And, above all, NEVER give advice.

A victim of abuse needs to know that they are cared about and supported but they can be put in very dangerous circumstances if bullied and cajoled into making a move before they are ready. Abusers are controllers. It is probable that the abuser controls every aspect of your friend’s life. In order for victims to successfully remove themselves from such a scenario, they must first come to grips with their situation. Then there must be careful planning, on their part, in order to escape from the abuser’s control.

So, be a friend; listen; offer support, and be there when they’re in need. Be there when they’re ready.

Filed Under: Domestic Abuse, General, Mental Health, Sexual Abuse Tagged With: Domestic violence, Psychological abuse, Violence and Abuse

How to Understand That You Are Suffering Abuse

: Image via Wikipedia

How do you know when you are suffering abuse?

As strange as that question may sound, many people do not know when their relationship has become abusive. A rational person may think: “How can one possibly not realize that they are in an abusive relationship?” As crazy as this may seem, one must understand that there are many factors that can shield the abuse from even the victim.

Some of these factors are:

Love.

When a relationship is formed, love is usually the motive. Most cases of domestic abuse do not happen overnight; they do not begin at the moment of attraction. If this were so, a potential victim would run before abuse was barely manifested. Many times a victim ignores abusive behavior because of the initial love that brought the victim and abuser together.

Guilt.

Many victims believe they deserve to be punished. If they weren’t so hard to live with; if they weren’t so clumsy; if they were more considerate; if they were just better! The abuse comes because the victim is obviously guilty for something and deserves punishment. A victim of abuse spends a great deal of time excusing the abuser because they are “tired” or “life has been hard” or “I should have been more caring” or- you get the picture.

It is YOU who are crazy.

Sometimes victims believe that they are the crazy one. Their partner is obviously trying to knock some sense into them. It is the duty of the abuser to abuse until you come to your senses.

Emotionally Numb.

Sometimes a victim becomes so closed down that they are actually numb to the situation and danger they are in.

Waking up to abuse can be a monumental experience. For this to happen one must first realize is that they ARE being abused. And next realize: it is NOT their fault and they deserve better.

Filed Under: Domestic Abuse, Mental Health, Sexual Abuse Tagged With: Domestic violence, Psychological abuse, Violence and Abuse

Residential Drug Abuse Program Curtails Violent Behavior

Violent behavior is one of the personality characteristics of people who suffer from some type of abuse in their lives. Typical abuses where violence surfaces can stem from drug, emotional, or alcohol abuse. A person with a challenging drug problem can exhibit violent behavior when she feels threatened in any way. Some people mistakenly use violence as a coping mechanism. Violent behavior usually results in grave consequences for the offender, and the individual may need some type of intervention in order to successfully find effective coping strategies.

A residential drug abuse program may be what a person needs in order to deal with the difficult challenge of having a violent personality. A drug abuse program can help individuals safely work through their conflicts and present alternative solutions in order to eliminate the violence they exhibit. If the program is residential, they have the additional opportunity to work through their problems in an environment staffed with professionals who are available at all hours.

When individuals enter a drug rehabilitation program, staff encourage them to work on their behavior and to work closely with the counselors to get to the foundation of the abusive behavior. Although their association with a life of drug abuse may be the culprit, there may also be underlying factors that can trigger the violent behavior, as well.

Violent behavior is certainly not an acceptable characteristic from anyone. But, people can learn to manage and control it. Eventually, people can eliminate the violence if they are willing to be consistent in their treatment. Counselors may begin by helping patients understand the underlying issues causing the violence. Then they may move on to the addiction to drugs. During treatment, professionals will help patients understand how both issues interact. Once people understand the problems, staff can begin to teach them how to overcome both the addiction and the violence.

Filed Under: Domestic Abuse, Mental Health Tagged With: Addictions, Centers and Counseling Services, Substance abuse

Domestic Abusers Know What They Are Doing

: Image by mtsofan via Flickr

One of the most interesting aspects of domestic abuse is the fact that abusers are usually able to control their behavior.

“Huh? How can that be?” You ask. “Aren’t abusers as much of a victim as the victims they control or hurt?”

The answer, in most cases, is probably not. Most abusers can control their behavior and they do it all the time. You see, abusers choose whom they will abuse. Many times, in one relationship, a partner will be as meek as a lamb; yet when they change relationships, they suddenly become the unyielding controller and can even move into violence.

An abuser looks for someone that he/she can control; someone who will be willing to belong to only them in the beginning throes of a relationship. Many times a victim will think this is simply romance without the understanding that the situation has a dangerous potential to turn from the ultimate dream into a nightmare.

The controlling romantic can morph overnight into a complete control freak over every detail in the victim’s life. The abuser will no longer allow the victim to see friends and family. The abuser will take total control over the money. Sometimes an abuser will even take complete charge of the job or education of the victim. Control may mean that one can no longer even drive the family car or use the phone.

Abusers may treat their victims well in public and tear them to shreds, verbally in private. Abusers also know how to hit their victims carefully so that no bruise shows to the outside world. Abusers are also capable of stopping their abuse if it is of benefit to them, personally.

If the police are at the door, you can bet that a domestic abuser will be on their best behavior.

Filed Under: Domestic Abuse, General, Mental Health Tagged With: Domestic violence, Police, Violence and Abuse

The Common Pattern of Domestic Abuse

: Image via Wikipedia

Just like the circle of life, there is a definite circle in the pattern of abuse that, if left alone, will continue to turn, and keep on turning, until the abuse victim has escaped or is dead. As this pattern is a circle, it is not always easy to identify a beginning, so let’s just start at what we might consider the normal part of this cycle.

The abuser has usually just repented of horrible verbal, emotional, and even physical abuse. Everything becomes perfect and it is so wonderful to the victim to see how much their partner truly loves them. At this phase nothing is too good for the injured party and the abuser does all in his/her power to make life beautiful.

In the next stage, the abuser becomes dissatisfied and every movement the victim makes is cause for the abuser to plan revenge.

The circle continues as the abuser then sets up the victim to commit a “wrong”. This could be anything from taking too long at the store to spending too much time with family. The abuser will justify any action or non-action to accuse the victim of anything ranging from insolence to immorality.

The circle then moves into insulting, belligerent, and ranting behavior that many times turns into aggression and violence. After the victim has been thoroughly chastised, mentally, emotionally, and physically, the next part of the pattern circles around to focus on the abuser’s guilt.

At this point the abusing partner seems filled with horrible guilt and remorse; they cannot do enough to show how sorry they feel. (Of course, he/she may also be worrying about what might happen if the proper authorities were to find out the extent of their abusive actions.)

And then we circle around once more to the point of forgiveness and normalcy- and off we go again.

Filed Under: Domestic Abuse, General, Mental Health Tagged With: Child abuse, Physical abuse, Psychological abuse, Violence and Abuse

What is the First Clue in Discovering Abuse?

What is the first clue in discovering abuse? The first clue is that sickening feeling that makes one want to hide or in extreme cases, run- run as fast and as far away as possible. It is that feeling that crashes in on top of everything and almost paralyzes you. It is that gut-wrenching sensation that makes you physically ill and terrified to move.

It’s called fear.

If you have a fear of your spouse or partner; if you feel that nothing you do is right in their presence and that you must walk a very thin line to keep the peace; if you feel that at any minute you will do something to cause a domestic explosion, then it is time to pay attention to those feelings!

Fear of one’s spouse or partner is the first sign that you may have a domestic abuse problem. If you are experiencing this fear then it is time to take a serious look at your relationship and understand what is going on and how you got there.

In this case, fear is a good thing. It can cause a victim to wake up and pay attention; it can bring one to the point of understanding and acknowledging that something is not right in their domestic relationship.

This is not an easy thing to admit or adjust to. Many times a victim will blame themselves for any domestic abuse in their home. Fear can actually clear the victim’s head and help them to see that the circumstances in which they find themselves are not desirable or healthy. Fear can help a victim to desire a change from abuse so much that they will actually make it happen.

If you feel fear in your relationship, then trust it. The life you save may be your own.

Filed Under: Domestic Abuse, General, Mental Health Tagged With: domesticviolence, Violence and Abuse, Women

The Truth About Teen Dating Abuse

The truth of teen dating abuse is generally unknown for a variety of reasons. Teens may be peer pressured to stay quiet or due to inexperience, may not understand what exactly is happening. Also, they may have a strong desire to experience love along with exercising freedom from parents.

Teen conceptions of romantic relationships can contribute to dating abuse. Teen males may think that they have authority in the relationship and deserve physical interaction. Male teenagers are also under extreme peer pressure from other males. Young women on the other hand may perceive the abuse as a form of romance and that it is their responsibility to resolve relationship issues.

There are numerous indicators that point to teen dating abuse beyond conventional signs of injury. Difficulties in school such as poor grades or flagging attendance are noticeable signals. Severe emotional shifts and a desire to only be alone are red flags, along with experimentation with alcohol and drugs.

Incidents of abuse from verbal to sexual tend to happen most often in one of the partner’s homes. Out of teen women ages 14 to 17, in one survey, 40 percent said they are acquainted with someone that has been a victim of abuse. In another, 60 percent of women ages 15 to 24 were currently in a relationship in which violence was used.

There are effective precautions for teens to take to avoid violent situations such as double dating and alerting a friend or family of their whereabouts. In times of discomfort teens should excuse themselves quickly. If something does occur, parents or authority figures should be notified immediately.

It is a common misconception that teens are exempt from the problems that plague adult relationships, especially domestic abuse. In reality, it has been shown that a third of teenagers have been involved in a dating relationship that has turned violent. Known as teen dating abuse, it is a carbon copy of the usual conception of domestic abuse in which a form of violence is used by one partner to exert power and control on the other.
The truth of teen dating abuse is generally unknown for a variety of reasons. Teens may be peer pressured to stay quiet or due to inexperience, may not understand what exactly is happening. Also, they may have a strong desire to experience love along with exercising freedom from parents.
Teen conceptions of romantic relationships can contribute to dating abuse. Teen males may think that they have authority in the relationship and deserve physical interaction. Male teenagers are also under extreme peer pressure from other males. Young women on the other hand may perceive the abuse as a form of romance and that it is their responsibility to resolve relationship issues.
There are numerous indicators that point to teen dating abuse beyond conventional signs of injury. Difficulties in school such as poor grades or flagging attendance are noticeable signals. Severe emotional shifts and a desire to only be alone are red flags, along with experimentation with alcohol and drugs.
Incidents of abuse from verbal to sexual tend to happen most often in one of the partner’s homes. Out of teen women ages 14 to 17, in one survey, 40 percent said they are acquainted with someone that has been a victim of abuse. In another, 60 percent of women ages 15 to 24 were currently in a relationship in which violence was used.
There are effective precautions for teens to take to avoid violent situations such as double dating and alerting a friend or family of their whereabouts. In times of discomfort teens should excuse themselves quickly. If something does occur, parents or authority figures should be notified immediately.

Filed Under: Domestic Abuse, Sex, Sexual Abuse Tagged With: Domestic violence, Peer pressure

Violence and Abuse Can Surface in all Genres of Domestic Relationships.

: Image via Wikipedia

As much as one might like to ignore or excuse domestic abuse, this unfortunate phenomenon seems to exist in every kind of conceivable relationship. From heterosexual marriages to same-sex relationships to living-together couples, domestic violence and abuse does and will happen when there is one partner who seeks to control the other.

And domestic abuse is about the control of one human being over another. Abuse is verbal, emotional and can escalate into physical violence. This control comes in all forms and the purpose is to deny the victim any power over their life. The abuser demands control over the utmost details. This can include things like who the victim sees and who they can speak to, money, transportation, sometimes even the clothes they wear. This kind of spousal abuse occurs in every age group, financial status, and culture.

Not only can domestic violence and abuse happen to anyone, the abuser can be female as well as male. Yet, many times, this aspect of the abuse problem is often overlooked, excused, or denied. Some studies indicate that women abuse as much as men. The biggest difference in the abuse is that domestic violence generating from a woman is usually not as lethal as when a man is the abuser.

In 99% of abuse cases, a female victim will be treated with sympathy and concern; she will receive help and sanctuary. However many male victims are treated with contempt, disdain, or worse, ignored. Because of this most men do not report abuse and are denied needed help because of ridicule from those who should and can help.

A fact that modern society must come to terms with is that abuse is a problem that crosses every life style and every sexual orientation. It causes pain suffering and trauma. This is true even if the victim is male.

Filed Under: Domestic Abuse, General, Mental Health Tagged With: Domestic violence, Physical abuse, Verbal abuse, Violence and Abuse

Offering Help and Support to Victims of Sexual Assault

Sexual assaults are on the rise. Recent reports indicate that one in five female college graduates was raped at some point during her education. Date rape, gray rape, and a host of other sexual crimes are in the headlines every day. Knowing how to help a friend or family member who has been sexually assaulted is of immense value to the victim.

Immediately After the Attack

Encourage your friend or family member to seek prompt medical attention. Rape is a traumatic event and victims need to know that you care and that you believe they have been victimized. Accompany them to the hospital and stay with them. Encourage them to report the assault. Evidence gathered during an examination will be preserved should a decision be made to press charges.These assaults are most often perpetrated by someone the victim knows, making the situation all the more frightening, confusing, and demeaning. Encourage your friend or family member to seek care from a qualified counselor in the immediate aftermath of the rape. Trained counselors know how to help victims through the difficult first hours after the assault.

Long-term Support Promotes Healing

Many rape victims blame themselves, sometimes even believing that they invited the attack. Avoid asking questions that would reinforce such an incorrect belief. Let them know you believe them. Listen and then listen some more. Victims may want to relive the event over and over as they try to deal with the trauma. Help victims remember to eat and care for themselves. Be patient. The trauma resulting from such an assault takes a very long time to heal. Counselors often suggest keeping a journal of feelings, fears, and thoughts. A journal and pencils or pens can be a thoughtful gift. Take good care of yourself, too. Helping someone you love through such a harrowing experience is draining. It’s important for you to take good care of yourself so that you can be there when you are needed.

Filed Under: Domestic Abuse, Sex, Sexual Abuse Tagged With: Hospital, Rape, Sexual assault