Domestic Abuse | Rape and Sexual Abuse Support Center

Emotional Abuse Can be as Painfal as Physical Abuse

Emotional abuse is often overlooked, as it does not have proof like bruises or scars. However, emotional abuse is the most common type of abuse. It can occur in any type of relationship, between husband and wife, parent and child, boyfriend and girlfriend, and even between supposed friends.

Name-calling is the most obvious form of emotional abuse. This is not the occasional outburst that one later feels bad about. The name-calling is constant and is repeated even when the other person is doing their best to please.

Emotional abuse is prevalent among relationships and is not a random act, because it takes really knowing a person for the perpetrator to be able to conduct the abuse. An emotional abuser knows your fears and doubts and can play on those. For example, if you have a fear of a particular place or thing, the abuser will constantly throw it in your face and make you feel bad and humiliated.

Parents that use emotional abuse against their children as a control mechanism risk delayed development socially and mentally. Parents tend to abuse their children in this way intentionally sometimes out of malice, but it more commonly stems from a lack of confidence in traditional parenting skills. Examples of parental emotional abuse include teasing, constant criticism, name-calling, invalidation and abandonment.

Your emotional abuser likely makes you afraid to seek for help and may even make you feel like they are not the problem. Any form of abuse, whether physical or non-physical is not okay and it is never the victimâ€™s fault. If you do not have the courage to access professional help, at least confide in a friend or family member who can seek help for you.

If you suspect a friend or a family member is in an abusive relationship, reach out to him immediately. Do not be aggressive, or else he might shut down. Listen and offer support.

Relationship Between Domestic Abuse and Money Problems

Money troubles are the top reason why couples get divorced. Money issues can strain all types of relationships, whether you are married or not. Although money is not everything, our livelihood depends on it. You cannot pay rent or mortgage, pay for transportation, or even buy necessities such as food and clothing without it. The less money there is going around, the more stress there is.

Money often lead to blame. A laid-off father feels like less of a man and he can feel even worse if he thinks the family looks down upon him. Instances like an unprecedented unemployment rate cannot be helped, but it does not improve a familyâ€™s situation or bring about that lost income. Blaming a partner increases stress and leads to a greater chance of abuse. This can be physical or emotional. In fact, incessant blaming is a form of emotional abuse.

Whenever the economy turns, instances of abuse increase. The news fills with stories of family members that snap and turn on each other. In worse case scenarios, some even kill out of emotion and desperation. Although such persons are pressured, this is certainly not an excuse for violence. In fact, some people may use this as an excuse to justify their actions.

Given the increased chance of abuse from a lack of money, some wrongly conclude that a plethora of money will solve their needs. It is not the amount of money that puts families at ease, but the lack of stress from having enough money so that a family can meet its basic needs.

No matter what your familyâ€™s financial circumstance, there is never an excuse for violence. If you and your partnerâ€™s money issues are affecting your relationship, seek counseling. If you are a victim of abuse, seek professional help or ask a friend for help. Whenever faced with a financial crisis, it is best to keep your cool and work on issues together.

Filed Under: Domestic Abuse, Sexual Abuse Tagged With: Abuse, Blame, Child abuse, Domestic violence, Family (biology), New Jersey, Psychological abuse, Violence and Abuse

What to Do When Your Teen Asks for Birth Control

Oral contraception, better known as the birth control pill, is purportedly 99% effective against pregnancy. Birth control pills are taken on a daily basis and are the most effective when taken at the same time of day. It can be obtained from a gynecologist, college health centers if you are a student, and clinics such as Planned Parenthood.

Birth control pills are a good tool for sexually active women who do not desire a pregnancy at this point in their lives. So what do you do when your teenager asks for oral contraception? Although the thought of your daughter being sexually active may seem irksome, it is a fact that teenagers have sex and share some of the same physical and emotional desires as adults.

If you have already talked to your teen about sex, you are off to a good start. Being open about such a serious matter decreases the chance of unwanted pregnancies and STDs. Do not be concerned if you did not know your teen was sexually active before she asked for birth control. This may be her way of telling you. Or, perhaps, she is thinking about having sex and wants to have options to protect herself.

When your teen asks for oral contraception, talk to her about why she wants to be sexually active and help her make sure itâ€™s for all of the right reasons. Examples of wrong reasons include to please a boy or because of peer pressure. Take her to a doctor for a check-up and so that she can become educated on all of her options. Ensure that she knows oral contraceptives do not protect her against STDs and HIV. To play it safe, her boyfriend should wear condoms.

The best thing you can do is offer support to help protect your teen. The worst thing you can do is to forbid her from sex. She will likely find a way and may end up facing the consequences.

Filed Under: Domestic Abuse, General Tagged With: Adolescence, Birth control, Combined oral contraceptive pill, Human sexual activity, Oral contraceptive pill, Planned Parenthood, Pregnancy, Sexually transmitted disease

How Children Show Signs of Abuse

Children have a more difficult type expressing abuse. In some cases, they are too young to explain it or are so used to it that it is a regular occurrence to them. In other cases, children are afraid to talk. Abusive adults will belittle them and make them feel that they have no where to turn to. If they do, there can be greater consequences.

First, it is important to note that there are different types of abuse. Physical abuse is the most predominant type of abuse, but it can be hard to detect if the child hides the evidence under clothing or bandages. If you ask about burns, scratches, or bruises, a child will typically act nervous and make up a lie, deeming the cause as an accident.

Neglect is another form of abuse. In such cases, you can visibly see that the child is not properly cared for, and perhaps has torn clothing or is unkempt. Neglect also involves constantly leaving a child home alone or failure to pick them up from places such as school.

Emotional abuse also involves neglect, but encompasses other signs. Emotionally abusive parents constantly talk down to their child, making them feel worthless and unloved. A lack of self-esteem is exhibited by children who are emotionally abused. Such children also act below their age.

Children also exhibit certain signs of sexual abuse. They may be afraid to go home or be around other adults. During gym or sports activities, they might not want to go to the locker room. Bedwetting is common in younger sexually abused children.

The last thing you want to do is wrongly accuse a parent of child abuse. In some cases, it is difficult to detect. When in doubt, seek the advice of a counselor or attempt to approach the child your self. If you ever suspect child abuse, do not hesitate to contact your local child welfare agency.

Filed Under: Domestic Abuse, Sexual Abuse Tagged With: Child, Child abuse, Child neglect, Child sexual abuse, Children Youth and Family, Psychological abuse, Sexual abuse, Violence and Abuse

Pregnancy from Rape: Know Your Options

The physical and emotional violations incurred during and after being raped are enough to have lasting effects. In some cases, women who are raped become pregnant. This is a difficult situation, considering the fact that you may be trying to get over being raped, let alone deal with being pregnant.

At this point, new questions may come to light. Do you keep the baby? Should you have an abortion? What are your options? What is the right thing to do?

The last question may depend upon your own morals and religious beliefs. Most people that are pro-life are conservative Christians. Extremely conservative people believe that you should keep any baby, no matter what the circumstances are. It wasnâ€™t fair that you were raped, but it isnâ€™t the babyâ€™s fault that he was conceived in such a matter.

On the flip side, maybe you donâ€™t want a baby or are financially unstable. Or the thought of having a baby from a rapist is just too much to handle. Itâ€™s justifiable to have such feelings. How could you possibly take care of a baby when you need to take care of yourself right now?

There is no right or wrong decision in this matter, as every situation is different. The thing to remember is that it is your decision, and yours alone to make. If you decide to keep the baby, there are support groups available to help you. If you do not have the money, there are various government programs to ensure that you and your baby receive proper health care and nutrition.

If you decide that having this baby is the wrong thing to do, you can see your gynecologist to discuss abortion options. She may refer you to a surgeon or recommend the abortion pill.

Also consider taking the morning after pill if you are raped in order to prevent unwanted pregnancy in the first place.

Filed Under: Domestic Abuse, Sexual Abuse Tagged With: Abortifacient, Abortion, Conservative Christianity, Health care, Pregnancy, Pro-life, Rape, United States

Sex Education: Abstinence vs. Intercourse Safety

Most states offer sex education to adolescents at some point during middle school or early high school. These sessions are often conducted during a health or anatomy class and they are often divided by gender. However, some states advocate co-ed sex education classes, though there is a risk of embarrassment for some of the children.

Sex education is designed to teach children about the human body, pregnancy, and consequences of unprotected sex. The sessions do not advocate sex, but rather teach teens how to be safe for when the time does come. Some classes even teach young women how to avoid rape and where to get help is someone does abuse them in such a way.

The problem is that not all parents advocate sex education classes. There are a number of reasons. First, parents might feel that their child is too young or that they would rather take it upon themselves to teach about sex and safety. Sex education classes also do not sit well with families who advocate abstinence until marriage, due to religious beliefs.

Some people are also afraid that sex education advocates sex, or may give children sexual ideas and inclinations. Given the subject matter, the classes may instead turn children off from having sex too young. During the class, children are exposed to pictures of STDs, the idea of teen pregnancy, and rape. Such images or ideas are not likely to conjure sexual motives in children.

For these reasons, children are required to gain parental consent in the form of writing before attending the classes. Before considering banning your child from a class, talk to the teacher about the lesson plans and offer your concerns. Also consider the consequences of not letting your child attend class. He or she may miss out on some valuable information about STDs, pregnancy, safety, and a number of other issues.

Filed Under: Domestic Abuse, Sexual Abuse Tagged With: Abstinence-only sex education, Education, Pregnancy, Safe sex, Sex education, Sexuality, Sexually transmitted disease, Teenage pregnancy

Child Witnesses: When Family Violence Seems Normal

It is difficult to imagine that violence is considered the norm in some families. It is even more disheartening to think that children might grow up witnessing violence and thinking that the behavior is acceptable. Children are impressionable and the way their parents behave towards other people helps mold their behavioral skills.

In some homes, a parent is regularly violent against the other parent. Younger children are more likely to think that such actions are normal. For example, a father might hit a childâ€™s mother out of shear anger. For someone extremely young these actions probably seem okay, since it is assumed that parents know everything and are always right.

The older that children become, they might recognize that these behaviors are not acceptable. They will begin to identify the emotions of the victim and recognize any violent patterns that exist in the home. Children will also see their friendsâ€™ families and how they act toward one another. If violence is not the norm in those households, then the child will begin to question his familiesâ€™ actions.

It becomes more disconcerting is a child is abused by his parents. Again, the violence may seem normal to a young child because he doesnâ€™t know any different. Once he is more emotionally developed and exposed to the world, he may recognize that he is a victim of parental abuse.

How does a child get help when a normal child usually turns to her parents for any life crisis? Children are not as apt to come forward since they are afraid of an abusive parent. The abuse may also make them question the reliability of other adults in their life. If a child does come to you, listen carefully and contact the appropriate authorities. Also do the same if you alone suspect family violence going on in a particular household.

Filed Under: Domestic Abuse, Sexual Abuse Tagged With: Behavior, Child, Child abuse, Domestic violence, Parent, Sexual assault, Violence, Violence and Abuse

Teach Your Child How To Avoid Date Rape – Some Useful Pointers

: Image by Foxtongue via Flickr

If your child is beginning to date, it is very important to explain what date rape is and how it can be avoided. Do not presume that your child is completely free of this risk because he or she is going out along with friends. All it takes is a single drink mixed with narcotics or drugs to cause your child to become unconscious. If nobody is aware of such a possibility, a date rape can easily result despite many friends being present.

Do not just focus on your child. You should make sure that all the friends of your children are also aware of the possibility of date rape. You must explain what it is and how it is normally perpetrated. You should warn about the consequences of accepting a drink from a stranger. You should explain the importance of having friends who can look out for each other.

It is one thing to have a lot of fun on a night out. However, it is a completely different thing to go around purposefully looking for trouble. You should encourage your child to have lots of fun but should also warn about the harmful consequences of meeting and getting intimate with strangers.

Make sure that you provide this information to your male child as well. Your male child may not be at high risk but knowledge may prove useful in helping others being targeted.

Making use of online resources to provide more information and to clarify doubts a smart move. However, do not make the mistake of using the internet as your replacement. It is not just a question of information and knowledge. It is also a question of establishing close bonds and telling the child that you are there no matter what happens. If the child sees you feeling uncomfortable, it may bypass you when it has doubts or needs support.

Filed Under: Disabilities, Domestic Abuse, Rehab Tagged With: Crime, Date rape, Rape

How Can You Help A Victim Of Domestic Abuse? Some Pointers

You may feel a sense of frustration at the fact that you are not a position to help your friend or relative suffering from domestic abuse. You may not be financially well off or may not have a contacts in the world of law enforcement. However, this does not mean you cannot help your friend facing the problem of domestic abuse.

For starters, the mere fact that you are there to listen to what your friend has to say makes a huge difference. The individual who has been abused and suppressed will often try to accommodate what others have to say. They will subject their own opinion and thought to the thoughts of others. In such a scenario, encouraging your friend to speak out and encouraging a friend to have an opinion can be a first step towards recovery.

You may not be an expert in legal matters. However, this does not mean you cannot help your friend get support. Just a quick search on the internet is sufficient to provide detailed information about the various organizations working towards this goal.

From organizations that provide emotional and psychological support to other organizations that initiate legal action against the abuser-there are many solutions available online. You can do this on your own and provide information to your friend so that he or she knows what steps to take and how to overcome the problem.

If your friend has kids, you can take up the task of distracting them from the crisis at hand. Of course, the psychological impact of watching their parent being abused will not go very soon. However, your efforts to restore normalcy and treat them like normal kids is it definitely going to help.

It is important to stay there irrespective of your financial and other abilities. As long as you are there and your friend knows that you can be trusted, it will help him or her tackle the problem faster.

Filed Under: Disabilities, Domestic Abuse Tagged With: Abuse, Domestic violence, Law

Having An Ego Is Essential To Recover From The Problem Of Domestic Abuse

Most individuals underestimate the extent of damage they have suffered due to sexual or domestic abuse. There are innumerable instances where healthy relationships have gone awry because of the person is past experience with abuse. When individual finally walks out of an abusive relationship, he or she invariably loses trust on all human relationships.

This means that the friends and relatives who have supported the victim often end up getting ignored and even insulted. You must understand that this is not intentional. Rather, it is an attempt by the individual to restore balance. The fact that your support was required is obviously going to hurt the ego of the individual.

This may sound paradoxical but the truth is that a person who was willing to submit to domestic abuse from their partner will not be pleased about the fact that he or she has obtained favors from you. You must encourage this paradox because this is the best way to set the individual on the path of recovery. You cannot be there all the time to protect the person from abuse. Rather, you will have to inflate the ego and the confidence of the individual to such an extent that he or she never accepts abuse again.

Former counseling may be required if the extent of abuse has been ongoing for very long time. Do not overestimate your capacity to understand the extent of the problem. Your desire to make everything all right very quickly may work counter productive.

In some cases, it is necessary for the individual to introspect and brood over the loss suffered. This may run contrary to your desires and expectations. Rather than enforcing your view, it is better to have a formally trained counselor take over the task. You can do your bit by directing the individual to the right counselor for maximum benefits.

Filed Under: Disabilities, Domestic Abuse Tagged With: Abuse, Domestic violence, Violence and Abuse