First, your friend has to tell her story in her own way. Many times the abuse has gone on so long, and been so devastating that to protect herself she talks around it. Be ready to listen to the story several times. As she tells it and sees you are not upset, she will begin to tell more of what happened and how she feels.

Once trust is established, you can begin to talk about getting some help. Help can be in the form of a support group, counselor, or maybe someone who has been through something similar and recovered. Professional help can be sought by searching a site such as canada 411. It is important to note that your friend will not get better right away, but will ebb and flow through recovering, remembering, and withdrawing. This is part of the process.

Your friend will need you to create a positive environment. Doing kind things, reminding her what her gifts are and how you like them, and standing by her when she has to deal with an issue or let something out is giving her the support she needs to recover. Often, after a counselor visit your friend will need you. Sometimes after releasing some of the poison, your friend will feel unsettled as past thoughts and overwhelming emotions come up. Having a catch phrase such as, “It’s okay,” to say after an event releases the tension.

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Abuse is when someone is controlling or exerting power onto another person. This could be anything from physical and emotion violence to manipulation. The victim of abuse almost always knows her abuser. If you’re currently in a relationship that’s abusive, it’s important that you put an end to things so you’re not longer the victim.

If you’re scared to talk to a friend or family member, speak with a qualified professional at the National Domestic Abuse Hotline. People there have experience with abuse and everything is confidential. Getting advice on coping with abuse is the first step in healing from this ordeal.

Speaking with a psychologist will help you cope with abuse. Sometimes speaking with a professional who doesn’t know you is easier than speaking with your friend or parent. It’s important that you do talk to someone because dealing with abuse is going to take a toll on you emotionally and you shouldn’t have to go through it alone.

Abuse is never OK, no matter what. If your husband or boyfriend is being abusive, get out of the relationship. Contact your family and friends and ask for their support and help getting out of the situation.

When you’re getting out of your home it’s important to be as quick as possibly and make sure someone is with you. You’re in the middle of leaving an abuser and things could get bad if he returns home. Do this in the middle of the day and have someone with you. Have a plan with other people about what should be done if they don’t hear from you.

Joining a support group for people who were abused can really help in the process of moving on. You can speak openly about what you dealt with and how you’re feeling. These groups are full of people who are in the same situation as you and want to help.

Birth control pills are a good tool for sexually active women who do not desire a pregnancy at this point in their lives. So what do you do when your teenager asks for oral contraception? Although the thought of your daughter being sexually active may seem irksome, it is a fact that teenagers have sex and share some of the same physical and emotional desires as adults.

If you have already talked to your teen about sex, you are off to a good start. Being open about such a serious matter decreases the chance of unwanted pregnancies and STDs. Do not be concerned if you did not know your teen was sexually active before she asked for birth control. This may be her way of telling you. Or, perhaps, she is thinking about having sex and wants to have options to protect herself.

When your teen asks for oral contraception, talk to her about why she wants to be sexually active and help her make sure it’s for all of the right reasons. Examples of wrong reasons include to please a boy or because of peer pressure. Take her to a doctor for a check-up and so that she can become educated on all of her options. Ensure that she knows oral contraceptives do not protect her against STDs and HIV. To play it safe, her boyfriend should wear condoms.

The best thing you can do is offer support to help protect your teen. The worst thing you can do is to forbid her from sex. She will likely find a way and may end up facing the consequences.

Addiction is a horribly debilitating affliction. You cannot control your actions, and you feel propelled to do something that you know is destructive for your body and your mind. One of the most ruthless of all addictions is the addiction to tobacco. It is the most pervasive additive substance in the world today. It can be attributed to over four hundred thousand deaths every year, and yet, the people who have this addiction are still helpless to do anything about it.

There are millions of people who would like to quit smoking but believe they can’t. The nicotine found in tobacco is one of the most addictive substances known to man. Its withdrawal effects are legendary and include weight gain, irritability, nausea, anxiety, and headaches. For those that would like to quit, it can take up to 8 to 12 weeks for these withdrawal symptoms to subside.

No matter how difficult the symptoms, the benefits of quitting smoking cannot be disputed. Within hours of quitting, your body begins to repair the damage inflicted upon it. Within 20 minutes, your blood pressure begins to return to normal. Within eight hours, the oxygen levels in your blood increase to normal. Within three months, your lung capacity is up by 30 percent. And by five years, your lung cancer death rate drops by half.

To quit smoking, especially for long-time smokers, a concerted effort is required. You need to decide what type of effort would work best for you. Some people truly can quit cold turkey and never look back. However, the majority of smokers must be weaned off of the habit of cigarettes. A good investment would be electronic cigarette starter kits. These machines will help you get the nicotine fix you are craving without the other negative chemicals. Over time, you can diminish the dosage of the nicotine so you don’t crave it anymore.

This can lead to the commission of sexual crimes, such as rape, sexual battery, or other forms of sexual abuse. And, even if the sex is consensual, the lowering of inhibitions and loss of control over emotions may cause the act to take a violent turn. This can lead to the partner suffering severe physical injury that might otherwise not have occurred.

On the other side of the coin, prescription drug abuse can cause a person to be unable to repel sexual advances, or be unable to defend herself against a violent sexual act. If judgment and physical reactions were not affected by prescription drug abuse, the risk of such an ordeal happening could have been lowered.

For this reason, it is important that anyone who is addicted to prescription drugs seek help at a prescription drug rehab center. This is especially true if one is aware that the tendency toward violence already exists, and knows that the prescription drug abuse can make it worse. It is better to voluntarily allow admission into a facility that can provide the help one needs in the way that one wishes to receive it than to have to do so while under incarceration for a violent crime.

Similarly, a person who knows that prescription drug abuse causes more vulnerability, both physically and emotionally, would be wise to seek help at such a facility before an episode occurs that leads to permanent injury or even death. As long as a person is alive, the possibility that help can be obtained will exist.

You can control and lower your blood pressure lifestyle changes. You may also need a prescription drug treatment as well.

Eating a healthy diet is one of the major ways to lower blood pressure. A healthy diet can also reduce the risk of developing problematic pressure rates. Reduce the intake of fats and cholesterol and increase the intake of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains.

Today’s sodium intake recommendation is to consume no more than 2.4 grams of sodium a day. Studies show that people with an intake of less than 1,500 mg per day can lower their blood pressure.

Eating a healthy diet and reducing salt should help with the next step of maintaining a good body weight. Overweight people are at a higher risk for blood pressure complications. Losing weight will almost always lower your blood pressure.

Getting on a regular exercise plan will also reduce your blood pressure. If you haven’t been exercising regularly, check with your physician and then start slow. Try to work up to 30 to 60 minutes of daily exercise.

Quitting smoking and reducing your alcohol intake will also help you achieve a better blood pressure. We all know the effects of tobacco — heart disease, cancer, and more — so there’s no reason not to quit. In addition to reducing the harmful effects of alcohol (damage to the liver, brain, and heart), reducing alcohol intake can help reduce calories that will help in maintaining that healthy weight goal.

Following these tips will lower your blood pressure as well as help your overall health.

A finger pulse oximeter is used to measure your heart rate and your oxygen levels. You can use it for exercising, or you can use it just to monitor your medical condition if you have health concerns. These devices aren’t difficult to find, much like blood pressure cuffs, blood sugar monitors, and thermometers, but you want to get the right ones. Take a close look at the medical monitoring device you’re considering buying, and make sure that it comes with some kind of warranty. You don’t want to be out the money for it if it doesn’t work right for some reason. The warranty should be for at least a year. If there’s a card to fill out for it, make sure you do that.

Also, make sure you’re buying your monitoring devices from a reputable company. That can really help if there’s a problem with any of them. You shouldn’t have to fight for your money back or a replacement as long as you’ve gone with a company that you can trust. If you’re not sure what company you should be using, ask around. Do your research thoroughly, in order to make sure that you’re getting the right thing and that you’re getting it for a price that’s reasonable and appropriate. You don’t want to pay too much.

You can always ask your doctor for a recommendation as to which monitoring devices you should get, too. He or she probably knows which companies will be best, or can at least tell you what to look for and what price range you should be looking in. If you have a medical condition that needs monitoring, or if you’re starting an exercise program, you should be consulting with your doctor. During that visit, ask about different devices so you can get a better idea of which one you should buy.

Leaving an abusive relationship is an incredible act of bravery and tenacity. One cannot simple walk away from an abusive partner without fear of pain and punishment as well as possible loss of life. In order to escape, a victim must plan carefully and thoroughly, as they will never be able to return.
When a victim succeeds in getting away from the abuse, it is through serious planning and working a tight schedule. Because an abuser is always in control of the victim, it takes some very dedicated detailed planning for a victim to actually make a successful escape.
One of the hardest issues to resolve in making an escape from an abusive partner is in the area of finances. The normal financial outcome for abuse victims is that money is non-existent. The abuser controls everything and this includes finances, both household and personal.
Victims of abuse, who have been under the thumb of their partner for a long time, will usually find that there are no bank accounts in their name; no identity and no cash. Escaping is very difficult without the cash to do so. Many abuse victims become homeless.
Victims that escape with their children, face a double whammy as they try to find shelter and comfort for their children as well as themselves. Another serious problem that adds to the strain of escape is the fact that the victim will have to get a job; most abuse victims have little or no training in work and have been under guard for years. This one item can keep many abuse victims from leaving their awful situation, as lack of finances can be quite formidable as well as frightening.
Although there are agencies that offer assistance, many times there are too many abuse victims for these agencies to handle.

There is nothing wrong with this, except that it can take the focus off of personal responsibility and looking at possible alternative treatments. The line we must walk is, “Well, we have insurance, so I’m going to the doctor.” We may have insurance, but the pain or complaint may also not rise to the level of medical attention. Again, you should not ignore a medical issue, and these often presents itself with pain. Early detection is the key to effective treatment.

But we must take responsibility for our health, and that means doing research about our symptoms. Another reason for doing the work is that we can give a more accurate evaluation of our pain, our symptoms, and the frequency of our ailments. From that information, any medical professional will be able to more accurate identify the problem and appropriate treatment.

We may be losing some of the supply of medical doctors as the new health care insurance program becomes a reality.  This is because the small doctors will not have the ability to process all the required paperwork.  Because of this, we must take responsibility and research our conditions, both for education and long term preparation.

Medicine does not give health. Medicine relieves symptoms and may alleviate a condition. Feeding the body with nutrients and extra supplements may correct a problem, or at least change the body’s balance to give it the opportunity to heal itself. However, you should not forsake medicine and the resources that the medical profession can provide in favor of supplements. Just keep personal responsibility on the table.

Although many restaurants can’t afford to install the high powered exhaust fans needed to properly ventilate a smoking section under the specifications of most states, many of them can afford to install outside patio seating. While smokers cannot smoke indoors, many restaurants have found their way around the ban by starting an outdoor smoker’s section. Finding bars and restaurants with these set up, particularly in warmer states, can make the dining experience enjoyable for smokers again.

One newer trend is the electric cigarette. Electronic cigarettes are said to supply the smoker with the same amount of nicotine without the harmful chemicals contained in cigarettes, and with none of the second hand smoke. This means that electric cigarettes can be “smoked” wherever the user pleases, as they are flameless and would not fall under the jurisdiction of most smoking bans.

Finally, smokers who are trying to quit or who just need enough to get by can use nicotine gum. While many smokers complain that the nicotine in the gum does not satisfy the long-term urges and desires of smokers, chewing a piece while in a bar or restaurant can more than adequately curb cravings for at least an hour or so, or until the chewer feels like going outside for a smoke. While not a perfect solution, it will help, and since most nicotine gum is over-the-counter, anyone can pick up a box.

While whether or not the smoking ban infringes on the rights of smokers remains to be seen. Smokers still have several options while operating from within the ban to make sure they get the enjoyment they need.

For most people these words immediately create the mental image of a suffering spouse with black eyes, and possible broken bones. However, although physical abuse is definitely part of the abuse cycle, domestic abuse can involve much more and usually does. And because domestic abuse usually involves areas other than physical violence, many do not see the suffering of friends or even members of their own family. Ironically, sometimes one can actually be blind to the fact that they, themselves, are involved in an abusive relationship.

“Wait,” you ask. “How can one possibly miss the fact that they are in the center of domestic abuse?”

Good question.

The answer is that abuse can, and usually does, come in many forms besides the physical. In fact, physical abuse in the home is called domestic violence, while mental & emotional abuses are actually the conditions considered “domestic abuse”. Most of the time domestic abuse will be tied into serious control issues and the desire for complete domination by a spouse or significant other. This kind of abuse starts with the need for control; it can readily be seen when a spouse completely takes over his or her mate’s time, money, friends, wardrobe, or even diet.

The next step is usually a constant belittling and demeaning verbal onslaught, which will include massive amounts of guilt and shame. Abusive people use these tactics so that the abused will feel that they deserve their mate’s scorn and harsh treatment. This allows for more abuse to be heaped upon the victims as they become convinced that they have earned their companion’s constant disdain and ridicule. As the abuser adds generous doses of fear and intimidation, the victim succumbs to the feelings of guilt and begins to believe that he/she is not only worthless but the actual cause of the problem. Once begun, this vicious cycle is extremely hard to break out of, but it can be done.

Recognizing domestic abuse is the first step to healing.

When a person on a tight budget experiences an unplanned expense, they often find themselves in quite an unfortunate predicament. Many people would panic and try to call friends or family to borrow money, but this is often a bad decision to make. Instead, an individual can contact an emergency loan service. These companies exist so that people who need money, immediately, can receive the loan they need in a short period of time and without too much paperwork.

Many people claim that the best reason to use emergency cash loans is that they are very fast and easy. The majority of lenders have websites where an individual can fill out some information about the amount of money they need, the reason for the loan, and some other small details. After a loan has been approved, the person will typically receive their money in about an hour.

One of the biggest appeals of an emergency loan is that a person can receive up to $5000 – if they provide enough information. In the case of a car accident, sudden illness, or getting laid off work, a person can simply head to one of these loan offices or fill out forms online, and receive their loan quickly. These loans are also known as cash advance or payday loans. They are so popular due to the easy process, quick return, and low amount of complications.

While emergency loans can be heaven sent for people who need money quickly, it is not the answer for when people need a large sum in a short period of time. Loans over $500 will need more information such as recent bank statements, voided checks, and as assortment of other documents. However, for an individual who simply needs some a small amount of money right away, an emergency or cash advance loan could be exactly what they are looking for.

Some of these early signs are not easy to recognize or to even equate with abuse. It can be something as romantic as a whirlwind courtship with an overly attentive suitor. The perfect man-of-your-dreams, who suddenly steps into your life and quickly sweeps you off your feet with his love and generosity (not to mention his extreme protection), can be the first warning signs for the beginnings of a relationship from hell.

Here are a few things to watch for that can signify an unhealthy and potentially combustible relationship:

Your New Love Must Be With You at All Times

When your new romance must be with you every moment and needs a full report when you are out of their sight, you may have a problem.

Their Feelings are Easily Hurt Over Tiny Infractions.

If you find yourself apologizing continually for every little nuance, you may have a problem.

Instant Jealousy

If there is an immediate jealous reaction over any attention bestowed upon, or given by you, you may have a problem.

“Loving Actions” That Can Ultimately Keep You Isolated

When the Object of Your Affection begins to make long-term plans that can separate you from your job/school/profession or even your family, you may have a problem.

Blaming You for Their Anger

If you find yourself accused as the cause of every disagreement, whether mild or fiery, you may have a problem.

Although, in a new relationship, it is sometimes hard to see the telltale signs of a potential abuser, it is wise to understand the forms and disguises where potential abuse can hide. This is a case where it is definitely better to be safe than sorry.

Are you in constant “duck and cover” mode? Do you have to watch what you say for fear of an angry tirade over subjects that seem benign? Are you constantly criticized or belittled? Has your partner taken your belongings? Or even destroyed them? Has your partner limited your access to the outside world? Are you treated horribly in front of family and friends? Are you the blame for EVERYTHING GONE WRONG? Do you believe you are stupid and worthless and deserve to be demeaned? Yelled at? Ignored? Blamed? And, most important, are you fearful of physical punishment? Has your partner threatened you? Or even your loved ones? Has he/she become violent?

Any of the above constitutes an abusive relationship. This implies that you may be in danger and that no matter how much you may think you love the person or how much you may deserve ridicule, at the least, and physical harm, at the most, you MUST leave and get to a place of safety.

If a partner is continually jealous or angry, threatening and controlling, you are in the midst of an abusive relationship and it is not going to get better. And more than your self-esteem is at risk; it could be your very life. Or even your children. There is no way to “fix” this relationship, especially if you feel you deserve the abuse. The only thing you can do is get to a place of safety and away from the situation, so that you can assess what is really going on and what your role in it is. There, you can clear your mind to determine if you need professional help and what the next steps might be.

Remember the famous words of Einstein:

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

Nothing could be further from the truth.

99.9% of the time, domestic abusers are in complete control of themselves and their actions are a choice. Whether their actions are to make all your decisions for you or control your money, friends, or freedom, or even hurt you physically, the action was a choice and the choice was made to control YOU.

Here’s how it works:

Common ways of manipulating the unsuspecting partner is to create a space of complete dominance; the victim becomes a possession and has no life of their own. This is allows the abuser to control every aspect of their partner’s life. Much of the power comes from continual humiliation. When the victim begins to feel completely worthless, the abuser can then lay the blame for their actions on the victim. If the victim hadn’t made them angry or hadn’t been so stupid, so embarrassing, so disappointing, so you-name-it, the abuse would never have happened.

Many times a potentially abusive person can be incredibly kind or inoffensive in one relationship and a repulsive and even dangerous tyrant in another. This is because an abuser must have the appropriate victim in order to control and dominate; most abusive behavior comes from the desire to control and manipulate the unsuspecting. Someone with a fragile self-image can be made to believe that they are stupid, worthless, defective, an embarrassment. Once that is achieved the abusive partner can weld supreme power over the victim, from insults and public humiliation to physical and sexual abuse to complete isolation.

So remember an abuser is NOT out of control; on the contrary, they have complete control of themselves and also their victims. Without this control, abuse would not be able to continue.

Being aware of abusive behavior is being safer and smarter.

If a good friend’s outward demeanor changes drastically you might want to ask questions. For instances, if they seem full of fear, for no apparent reason, or need to “report in” constantly to their partner/spouse. Perhaps their dialog may change to signify that their partner has become very possessive or they may even fear to say anything that will make the spouse look bad and will agree with everything that is said and done, no matter how outrageous.

If you notice that they are receiving constant and harassing phone calls when they are visiting or suddenly seem very depressed or even suicidal, then there could very well be serious abuse going on in their private life. Or if suddenly they are not “allowed” to see people, can’t go anywhere without their spouse, and have little or no access to a car or to money, then it’s “Houston, we may have a problem” time.

As a friend, it is your duty to ask questions. Don’t be afraid to be straightforward but be sure that your friend knows that your discussion is private and just between the two of you. It is your duty to speak out if you suspect abuse and see these kinds of psychological signs. Realize that if your suspicions are true, then your friend is caught in a dangerous trap and may feel there is no hope and that no one cares. When you speak up, not only will you show that someone cares, but you just might save his/her life.

Abuse can be subtle, especially at first. You might excuse your spouse’s actions because it may seem silly to fret over something like mood swings or the fact that you are rarely able to see your friends or family. But understand that abusers know what they are doing. An abuser doesn’t “just lose” his/her temper. Abuse is calculated and controlled.

In fact, it is all about control. Control of you.

If you have any misgivings or fears about your relationship, then it is wise to ask yourself some pertinent questions.

Are you afraid? Does your partner sometimes scare you? Do you ever fear for your personal safety? Are you regularly accused of being unfaithful? Are you forced into sexual situations that you find revolting? Are your finances controlled by your partner?

Realize that in domestic abuse, degradation is the name of the game. If your partner is consistently demeaning or ridiculing you, this is abuse. If you feel consistently humiliated or fearful, then you are experiencing domestic abuse. If you are isolated and kept from your social peers; if your partner or spouse has gotten in the way of your schooling, your job or even your hobbies, or if you have no control over the car, your money or your time, you are being controlled and abused.

The best thing you can do is to become aware. Are you fearful? Isolated? Controlled? This is called domestic abuse; it will not go away. If this is happening in your life, then it is best to face it sooner rather than later.

We do not often hear of battered men because, in the first place, many do not believe them. Many times when a man calls a help line they are told that the help is only for women. When a woman is a victim of domestic violence, she is always told that it is not her fault. Regrettably, men are often laughed at or made fun of by those that are supposed to help domestic abuse victims. And often, if a man is attacked by his spouse, even with a weapon, and reports it, he can be the one arrested.

There is also the “manly” issue.

Men are supposed to be stronger and able to handle the “little woman”. It can be embarrassing to acknowledge that you are being battered by your wife or girlfriend. Unfortunately, women can also pack a punch, handle a gun or knife, and inflict pain or even death. Although most assaults by females against men are relatively minor, some do result in homicide. And most abused men do not retaliate against the abuser even though they are much stronger and could inflict real damage.

Many times men are also reluctant to leave an abusive relationship because they do not want to lose their children. If they leave, they leave their children with an abusive parent. Even when the woman is the abuser, the children will usually go to her in the case of divorce.

It is necessary that the public becomes educated and made aware of male victims of domestic abuse. This is a big step toward allowing men the proper help and counseling to work toward a better life.

Although many restaurants can’t afford to install the high powered exhaust fans needed to properly ventilate a smoking section under the specifications of most states, many of them can afford to install outside patio seating. While smokers cannot smoke indoors, many restaurants have found their way around the ban by starting an outdoor smoker’s section. Finding bars and restaurants with these set up, particularly in warmer states, can make the dining experience enjoyable for smokers again.

One newer trend is the electric cigarette. Electronic cigarettes are said to supply the smoker with the same amount of nicotine without the harmful chemicals contained in cigarettes, and with none of the second hand smoke. This means that electric cigarettes can be “smoked” wherever the user pleases, as they are flameless and would not fall under the jurisdiction of most smoking bans.

Finally, smokers who are trying to quit or who just need enough to get by can use nicotine gum. While many smokers complain that the nicotine in the gum does not satisfy the long-term urges and desires of smokers, chewing a piece while in a bar or restaurant can more than adequately curb cravings for at least an hour or so, or until the chewer feels like going outside for a smoke. While not a perfect solution, it will help, and since most nicotine gum is over-the-counter, anyone can pick up a box.

While whether or not the smoking ban infringes on the rights of smokers remains to be seen. Smokers still have several options while operating from within the ban to make sure they get the enjoyment they need.

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Escape from an abusive situation needs some serious planning. If you are involved with an abuser who has control of your bank account and credit cards, not to mention family automobiles and every second of your time, then planning is of the essence.

The first thing to do is to find one person you can trust who will help you from beginning to end. Next, gather important items and keep them in a safe place. This can include, necessary papers such as legal documents and financial records, extra keys, money, medications, and clothing. Anything that is of personal value to you must go into your “safety place” because once you leave, there is little chance of reclaiming anything that is left behind. If you are fearful of hiding these things in your home, then find a friend or family member that will keep them.

Next, get an alternative address, now; some place where future financial statements and important documents etc. can be sent to you. This is very important because if you change addresses after your escape, some institutions will send confirmation of your new address to your old address. You do NOT want your abusive partner finding out your new residence this way.

Find somewhere to escape to, whether it is distant friends or a shelter, and make arrangements. Open your own bank account with whatever money you can secret away. If you are taking children with you, it is probably a good idea to keep them in ignorance until you are all successfully relocated. A child might accidentally let the secret out before you are ready to make the move. In fact, it is a good idea to tell NO ONE except the one friend or family member who is helping you.