Breaking the Pattern

KAKHUN-WART 05 domestic abused violence conjugale 

Image by kakhun.wart via Flickr

One problem that many abuse victims face is the tendency to go right back to an abusive relationship. Whether this means going back to the same relationship as before or entering a new relationship that is just as bad as the previous, this makes any recovery that has been made for nothing. Preventing future abuse is an important, though often undervalued, step to recovery.

When one is in an abusive relationship, there are several important steps to take in escaping the abuse. It is very important to escape the relationship and seek help, but one of the most under-appreciated steps in recovery in preventing the pattern to repeat itself.

In preventing abuse, it is important to identify certain patterns that hint at someone being potentially abusive. For example, abuse often comes from people that seem overly romantic, to the point of declaring “undying love” for you before your first date. Also, he or she might want to know where you are and what you are doing at any given time. This might seem like he or she is just interested in your life, but it is often a symptom of obsession, which often leads to abuse. Also, if he or she constantly complains about things, such as your weight or habits, this can lead to verbal abuse. Also be careful if a person has obvious anger issues, which are often first apparent as road rage or the like, since these issues are tell-tale signs of potential abuse.

If you believe you are in a relationship that could become abusive, seek help. You do not want to make the mistake of waiting.

Preventing Child Abuse

As a parent you do what ever you can to protect your children. The rate for child abuse and sexual abuse is at an all time high. For girls, one in four will experience sexual abuse before they turn 18 and one in six boys will be abused sexually before they’re 18. Most of child abuse cases were the result of a family member or friend abusing the kid.

It’s important to know what the warning signs would be for child abuse. It’s the main step in preventing your child from having to go through this. Many kids won’t completely understand what’s going on and they could be scared or embarrassed to say anything. This is why knowing the signs of child abuse are crucial in preventing it.

The biggest signs of child abuse would be redness or swelling in their genital area. They might also get a urinary tract infection. There are several emotional signs of abuse that would include depression, sudden anger and withdrawal.

If your child all of a sudden is too scared to be around a family member, ask why. That could be a sign that something’s happening.

If you’re suspecting that something is happening to your child, make sure he or she is never alone with another adult. Even is the adult is a person you know well, even trust. Often times your child will be abused by a close friend or family member, even a person you love and trust. That person will even do whatever they can to gain your trust and get alone time with your child.

Be open and honest. Talk to them about what abuse is and how it should never happen. Keep communicating with your child so they know they can talk to you about anything.

This is your child’s life you’re protecting, do what ever you can to prevent child abuse from happening.

Early Signs of a Potentially Abusive Relationship

The last thing one wants to think about in a new romance are the signs of a potential abuser. Yet if one is serious about a relationship, there are certain danger signals one should be aware of.

Some of these early signs are not easy to recognize or to even equate with abuse. It can be something as romantic as a whirlwind courtship with an overly attentive suitor. The perfect man-of-your-dreams, who suddenly steps into your life and quickly sweeps you off your feet with his love and generosity (not to mention his extreme protection), can be the first warning signs for the beginnings of a relationship from hell.

Here are a few things to watch for that can signify an unhealthy and potentially combustible relationship:

Your New Love Must Be With You at All Times

When your new romance must be with you every moment and needs a full report when you are out of their sight, you may have a problem.

Their Feelings are Easily Hurt Over Tiny Infractions.

If you find yourself apologizing continually for every little nuance, you may have a problem.

Instant Jealousy

If there is an immediate jealous reaction over any attention bestowed upon, or given by you, you may have a problem.

“Loving Actions” That Can Ultimately Keep You Isolated

When the Object of Your Affection begins to make long-term plans that can separate you from your job/school/profession or even your family, you may have a problem.

Blaming You for Their Anger

If you find yourself accused as the cause of every disagreement, whether mild or fiery, you may have a problem.

Although, in a new relationship, it is sometimes hard to see the telltale signs of a potential abuser, it is wise to understand the forms and disguises where potential abuse can hide. This is a case where it is definitely better to be safe than sorry.

Enhanced by Zemanta