First, your friend has to tell her story in her own way. Many times the abuse has gone on so long, and been so devastating that to protect herself she talks around it. Be ready to listen to the story several times. As she tells it and sees you are not upset, she will begin to tell more of what happened and how she feels.

Once trust is established, you can begin to talk about getting some help. Help can be in the form of a support group, counselor, or maybe someone who has been through something similar and recovered. Professional help can be sought by searching a site such as canada 411. It is important to note that your friend will not get better right away, but will ebb and flow through recovering, remembering, and withdrawing. This is part of the process.

Your friend will need you to create a positive environment. Doing kind things, reminding her what her gifts are and how you like them, and standing by her when she has to deal with an issue or let something out is giving her the support she needs to recover. Often, after a counselor visit your friend will need you. Sometimes after releasing some of the poison, your friend will feel unsettled as past thoughts and overwhelming emotions come up. Having a catch phrase such as, “It’s okay,” to say after an event releases the tension.

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An unfortunately large number of women have a tendency to stay with men who treat them badly. Sadly, these women will often stay with a man, even if they’re beaten and emotionally abused on a regular basis. For a lot of these women, it seems the answer comes down to a simple case of attraction.

Most of the decisions people make in life are caused by their chemistry, including who they find sexually attractive. When a man demonstrates certain traits, many women will find him irresistable no matter what he does. It may make a woman sound stupid, but it has nothing to do with how intelligent she is. It all comes down to the fact that she considers the man to be sexy. This carries the unfortunate brand of having brought it on herself, even though that isn’t the case at all. Generally an abuser does this to feel powerful, or because he only knows how to be in a relationship where he causes someone else pain in some form.

Unfortunately, far too many women simply can’t convince themselves to leave a man who still gives them a thrilling rush when he isn’t beating or shouting at them. These women aren’t wrong, and they aren’t stupid either. They’re just victimized by their upbringings and their DNA. Many women are hard-wired to seek out the kinds of traits that make a man good in a particular setting — our cave-dwelling ancestry — that also happen to make many men into abusers.

It’s crucial to create a tight case when defending yourself against your abuser. Having a great lawyer is going to help you fight back.

Abuse cases that have physical evidence, photos or videos of her bruises, are harder to win, but in most cases a jury won’t side with the victim on emotional abuse. If you have photos of your bruises or a witness, it’s important to bring that information to your lawyer.

Your abuser might try and blame drugs and alcohol for his actions. If he’s abused either during your relationship it’s important to bring this up. While this isn’t an excuse for his actions, he could face jail time for the drug use.

Another common thing an abuser will try to tell the court is that he’ll change and seek counseling. Abusers won’t always change, it’s a vicious cycle and the only way to stop them is by taking action. This probably wasn’t a one-time thing and you won’t be his last victim. Going to go and filing charges against him will help warn other potential victims that he’s an abuser and to stay far away from him.

You were abused and no victim should have be smack, punched or verbally abused, no matter what. It’s important to do whatever it is that you can to make sure your abuser pays for the crime he did.You might also want to install some adt home security systems to ward off another potential abusive situation in the future.

Native women are more likely to be assaulted by men of another race; to sustain injuries during the assault; and to be gang raped.

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Because of long-standing cultural mistrust of law enforcement and the judicial systems, these victims are often hesitant to report the crime.

Even when victims report a rape to tribal police, there is often no response. Most reservations have small federal funded BIA (Bureau of Indian Affairs) Police forces and sexual assaults are not even investigated. Many of the Indian Health Service Centers –the first medical stop for most Native Americans- do not stock rape kits, so DNA evidence, vital for legal prosecution, is not collected.

The U.S. Department of Justice has recently acknowledged this problem with pilot projects for tribes to change the social and judicial climate around sexual assault. Grants now fund classes for law enforcement officers, encouraging tribes to change their legal codes to increase punishment for rapes, and to treat victims of domestic violence with sensitivity.

Tribal women themselves have started to band together to assist victims of assault and to demand action from law enforcement and the legal system. These women honor the survivors of sexual assault, sponsor educational programs, and lobby their tribes for changes in their legal codes to take sexual crimes seriously.

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One problem that many abuse victims face is the tendency to go right back to an abusive relationship. Whether this means going back to the same relationship as before or entering a new relationship that is just as bad as the previous, this makes any recovery that has been made for nothing. Preventing future abuse is an important, though often undervalued, step to recovery.

When one is in an abusive relationship, there are several important steps to take in escaping the abuse. It is very important to escape the relationship and seek help, but one of the most under-appreciated steps in recovery in preventing the pattern to repeat itself.

In preventing abuse, it is important to identify certain patterns that hint at someone being potentially abusive. For example, abuse often comes from people that seem overly romantic, to the point of declaring “undying love” for you before your first date. Also, he or she might want to know where you are and what you are doing at any given time. This might seem like he or she is just interested in your life, but it is often a symptom of obsession, which often leads to abuse. Also, if he or she constantly complains about things, such as your weight or habits, this can lead to verbal abuse. Also be careful if a person has obvious anger issues, which are often first apparent as road rage or the like, since these issues are tell-tale signs of potential abuse.

If you believe you are in a relationship that could become abusive, seek help. You do not want to make the mistake of waiting.

It’s important to know what the warning signs would be for child abuse. It’s the main step in preventing your child from having to go through this. Many kids won’t completely understand what’s going on and they could be scared or embarrassed to say anything. This is why knowing the signs of child abuse are crucial in preventing it.

The biggest signs of child abuse would be redness or swelling in their genital area. They might also get a urinary tract infection. There are several emotional signs of abuse that would include depression, sudden anger and withdrawal.

If your child all of a sudden is too scared to be around a family member, ask why. That could be a sign that something’s happening.

If you’re suspecting that something is happening to your child, make sure he or she is never alone with another adult. Even is the adult is a person you know well, even trust. Often times your child will be abused by a close friend or family member, even a person you love and trust. That person will even do whatever they can to gain your trust and get alone time with your child.

Be open and honest. Talk to them about what abuse is and how it should never happen. Keep communicating with your child so they know they can talk to you about anything.

This is your child’s life you’re protecting, do what ever you can to prevent child abuse from happening.

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Abuse is when someone is controlling or exerting power onto another person. This could be anything from physical and emotion violence to manipulation. The victim of abuse almost always knows her abuser. If you’re currently in a relationship that’s abusive, it’s important that you put an end to things so you’re not longer the victim.

If you’re scared to talk to a friend or family member, speak with a qualified professional at the National Domestic Abuse Hotline. People there have experience with abuse and everything is confidential. Getting advice on coping with abuse is the first step in healing from this ordeal.

Speaking with a psychologist will help you cope with abuse. Sometimes speaking with a professional who doesn’t know you is easier than speaking with your friend or parent. It’s important that you do talk to someone because dealing with abuse is going to take a toll on you emotionally and you shouldn’t have to go through it alone.

Abuse is never OK, no matter what. If your husband or boyfriend is being abusive, get out of the relationship. Contact your family and friends and ask for their support and help getting out of the situation.

When you’re getting out of your home it’s important to be as quick as possibly and make sure someone is with you. You’re in the middle of leaving an abuser and things could get bad if he returns home. Do this in the middle of the day and have someone with you. Have a plan with other people about what should be done if they don’t hear from you.

Joining a support group for people who were abused can really help in the process of moving on. You can speak openly about what you dealt with and how you’re feeling. These groups are full of people who are in the same situation as you and want to help.

When you know for sure your friend is being abused it’s crucial that you confront her right away. But be prepared because she might be in denial and start feeling a little defensive. These are normal reactions, but she has to know what’s happening is a crime. Just remind her you’re concerned for her safety and you want to help her through this horrible time.

When a victim is talking to you about her abuse, it’s important for you to listen and offer support without being judgmental. Being abused by your husband is toxic to you both physically and emotionally. It’s important that your friend understands that this is not her fault. This might be difficult, but don’t talk horribly about the abuser, this is going to make her angry and decide not to talk to you about the situation.

Sit with your friend about creating an idea for her to get away from her abusive husband. A safety plan is something that will be used when you’re trying to get out of a horrible situation as quickly and safely as possible. Think of all the possible exits and time that she can get her things and move out of the home. A few law websites will say she should have a suitcase that has some clothes, money, social security cards, personal items, her banking items and any other important information she may need. Write down a list of people she can call if there’s an emergency.

Domestic abuse is a horrible situation for anyone to be in. If you know someone being abused it’s crucial that you step in and to help your friend or family member out of a bad situation.

Most of the time as a child you’re repressing those horrible memories and you’ve been able to forget about it until you’re an adult. There are people who as adults remember vividly the sexual abuse they experience when they were a kid. Healing after dealing with sexual abuse as a child can be difficult for many people, but it’s something that in time will happen. As a child, you’re unable to fully understand what’s going on let alone know how to heal.

The first step in the healing process would be to admit that it happened and that it was a serious crime and you were horribly violated. Anyone who has experience any kind of abuse usually suffers from low self-esteem, which was caused from the abuser.

Going to a support group or therapist could help the healing process since talking about horrific events could help. A therapist will be there with you so you’re able to deal with the emotional pain and effects of being sexual abused when you were a kid. Keeping things built up inside is only going to make things worse.

There are more than just focus groups you can attend; you have the option to be part of a program that’s a 12-step that’s for survivors of sexual abuse.   There are many groups that hospitals and clinics are offering to those who were victims of sexual abuse as a child.

Some professionals have even said that writing in a journal is a great way for a victim to start their healing process. Sometimes people can’t share their thoughts out loud and writing about it could help. Another option would be to write multiple letters to your abusers. These letters won’t be mailed, it’s another way to speak your mind and be open and honest about how you’re feeling.

These are things that you can do when you’re trying to move on from being sexual abused.

If the violence is getting out of control, leave your place immediately. Head to your local crisis center or police station to seek help. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence has a website that will list all their locations in your area.

As soon as you can, remember to change both your home number and cell phone. Only give the new number to those you trust. If he tries to contact you in any way, it’s important to document it as evidence for police.

With an abuse claims it’s important to have physical evidence. Without it, he could walk free. If you’ve got bruises, take photos. This is evidence that will help you put him behind bars if you make the brave decision to press charges.

If you think he could find you, figure out a new escape route. It’s best to not go into a room like your room, which has potential weapons.

If possible, get yourself a new routine. Go a different way to work and be sure to leave your home at a different time. It’s better to leave earlier than you normally do. These small changes could help keep your abuser away.

Speak with someone who has experience with domestic abuse. The only way to heal and move forward is to talk about it. They could also help you if you’re interested in pressing charges, but is too afraid too. File a permanent restraining order. This means your abuser can’t legally go within a certain amount of distance from you.

If you need to get items back from your abuser, do it in a public space and in broad daylight. If you can have a friend or someone else go with you and a precaution.

You can get your life back. Don’t let your abuse take complete control of your life. Getting your life in order after domestic abuse will consist of getting your confidence back, getting back in touch with those you lost and reliving your dreams and career plans. You have the power to control your life and it’s your time to take that power back.

Grieving the loss of a relationship is pretty normal, even if the relationship was an abusive one. The relationship was probably good and first and letting go of the good memories is tough.

It’s time to remember who you once were and start doing the things you used to enjoy doing. Bring back your old dreams and start new ones. You’re getting a second change so make it count.

During your relationship, you probably isolated yourself from family and friends. Reach out to them and rebuilding your relationship with these people. They understand you were in a tough time and they will be there for you.

If you’re still having safety concerns, let your friends and family know. Create your own plan to stay safe and let your close family and friends know about this plan.

You’re a strong person for getting out of an abusive relationship. Now is the time to take control of your life and get it back on track.

It’s been reported that kids who witness domestic abuse in the home will suffer from the horrible memories for the rest of their lives. This is a serious issue that could lead to an injury, or worse, someone’s death. This is why it’s extremely important to report any cases of domestic abuse to authorities.

Preventing domestic abuse can really help save lives.

The first step is learning about domestic abuse. If people are more aware if they would have a better shot at noticing the signs of abuse. People also need to understand that violence against another person is never going to be acceptable… ever.

Spread awareness of domestic abuse. This is a serious crime that more people need to know about. Take part in fundraisers that support any local organizations that help victims of domestic abuse. The more money they raise, the more awareness they could spread.

If you notice anyone who could be a victim of domestic abuse, talk to that person. If that the person is being abused, contact the police immediately. People being abused are often times to terrified to report it, give that person the support and help they need to report their abuser.

Domestic abuse is a crime that’s happening far too often. It’s time to stand a stand and do what has to be done in order to prevent or help stop domestic abuse.

Reporting it to the police and courts is the first step, than you’ll want to get a restraining order against your abuser. Don’t let him win. Being quiet could potentially make things work. Reporting domestic abuse is crucial if you want the abuser to pay for what he done.

Take all your information and put them together. If you weren’t abused and you’re the one reporting for a friend, you’re going to need the address and know the time of the abuse, police are going to ask for it. Write down all the details that were given to you. This is a hard thing to do since you’re recalling information about a horrific event.

Call 911 as soon as the domestic abuse happens and tell the police exactly what happened. This is going to be hard, but it’s important in stopping the domestic abuse. If you have a safe area at the location, go there and wait for police to show up. Don’t answer the door until they arrive.

If you can’t talk to family and friends, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline to report your abuse. They’re there to help.

Once you’ve reported the abuse, be prepared to go to court. You’ll be there as a witness, which will make your case stronger and nail the abuser.

Seeking counseling could help you heal from being abused. Find a counselor who has experience dealing with domestic abuse victims.

It’s crucial to keep communicating with your children and watch for potential signs that your child is being sexually abused.

Keep an eye on how your kid’s posture is. If he becomes in pain all of a sudden or has a hard time walking or sitting down, speak to them. You’re their parents so don’t back down when they fight you after you ask to see their bodies. Most kids who are being abused will be threatened or have their family threatened by the abuser, causing the kid to be too scared to talk.

If you notice your child is rubbing himself in the genital area and a seductive manner all of a sudden or use words that are filthy, that’s a huge sign a child is being sexually abused. If you think anything is going on, it’s important to report it to the police. Children under the age of 12 will never act this way unless someone is teaching them how to.

Be on the lookout for your kid to become really shy and scared. If he or she is too scared to change in gym class because people are around, this is another sign of sexual abuse.

Other common signs of sexual abuse include having nightmares, not being able to sleep, wetting the bed, not eating as much or they’re afraid to be alone.

If you notice any of these signs than your child is in trouble, take action immediately.

When it comes to recognizing the signs of abuse, it’s important, and I mean important, to make sure what you’re witnessing is abuse. Falsely accusing someone is a serious thing that could create problems in your friendship. Reporting abuse because of a “felling” your have with zero evidence can create a lot of problems for the parties involved.

Go online to find the number to a domestic abuse hotline. Many states offer toll-free numbers that you can call anonymously.

Bruises will be the most common sign of abuse. If you see any bruises around the eyes or throat, that’s a huge sign of domestic abuse. Other areas would include the arms, abs and thighs. If the bruises are in different shades, this means there’s been more than one occasion of abuse. Contact the police immediately if you see this because it’s a huge sign of abuse.

Once you’ve noticed the bruises, ask the person how the bruises got there. Don’t directly ask if they’re being abused because they could be in denial or get really nervous. The most used excuse abuse victims will use is that it was an “accident” or they “fell.”

Notice any changes in their personality? If they go from calm to defensive, that’s a big sign they’re being abused. Victims will also stop hanging around with friends and completely isolate themselves to only hanging out with their boyfriend.

If you’re sure your friend is being abused and you have proof, report it to police right away.

People need to do what they can to stop the domestic abuse cycle. This is where people should do research on abuse. Learning why people are abused and how the cycle continues will help deal with the pain. While it’s a long process, it’s something that many people should learn about.

Sometimes it helps talking to someone who has been through what you have.

When you’re a kid, you’re too young to understand what’s going on and how you can defend yourself. You were just a child then. As an adult it’s important to learn how to cope with the situation. Talking about the past is going to be hard and it’s something that you can’t always prepare for. How does one really prepare for talking about something as horrible as abuse? The abuse is something that you should and really need to talk about. Burring it deep and just ignoring it will only make things worse down the road. Admitting to how it’s affected your life and wanting to move on is important in the healing process.

Don’t just say you want things to change, make the change happen. This is easier said than done, but taking action is the only real way to move on. Don’t let your anger get the best of you and never ever give up. You’re not perfect and being abused did some damage, but it doesn’t have to affect your life anymore.

Nymphomaniacs are often very flippant about the types of sex that they are having, the partners that they are having it with, and anything else regarding the “sensible” parts of sexuality.  Often they do not care if they use protection from diseases, or even if they use birth control.  Their primary desire is to experience the stimulation of sexual excitement, pure and simple.  Adding additional complications on top of that would only be a distraction to that overriding purpose.  But of course, this is not just about pleasure for its own sake.

In a very large number of cases, the nymphomaniac is a woman whose girlhood was marked with sexual abuse.  While she might not think anything about it, or may play off the early abuse as something that is ancient history, it does continue to color her attachment to (and pursuit of) sexuality.  After all, the early abuse may have been by a man whom she trusted and loved.  With such a basis, she may be subconsciously associating the acquisition of sex with being loved, accepted or trusted.  She may even come to see sexuality as a tool by which she can manipulate other people and get something.

Of course, there are times in which a man’s inability to achieve orgasm is directly related to the fact that his body is not working properly.  If a man does not have enough testosterone being produced, for instance, that can impact his ability to orgasm.  If he has an improper amount of the hormones which are produced in his thyroid (either too little or too much), this can also impact his ability to orgasm during sex.  As well, if he is taking some types of medications, he may be unable to finish the act.  In some cases, he may even have an issues such as muscular sclerosis, or even a physical injury to his penis.

In a lot of cases, a man who can not orgasm during sex has a psychological problem, and not a physical one.  Among the potential psychological problems which can cancel out the possibility of orgasm are stress, the fear of either impregnating their partner or contracting some kind of sexually transmitted infection or AIDS, a past history of having been sexually abused, or a relationship with his sex partner which is unsatisfactory to him.  There are a multitude of reasons, but the problem can be solved.

Situational male orgasmic disorder is a condition in which a particular context of sex causes him to not be able to orgasm.  In the cases where he is not satisfied with his partner or does not find her sexually attractive, this is situational.  In a case where he has been under a lot of stress, and thus simply can not perform as he would like to, this is situational.  The good news about situational male orgasmic disorder is that it can be treated with relative ease.  You simply remove the problem’s cause, and the problem should cease in a relatively short time period.

However, it is a whole different situation when a man can never seem to orgasm.  If it has happened across multiple, completely satisfactory partners, and under multiple different types of situations, then it is a pervasive form of orgasmic disorder.  In cases such as this, medical testing followed by therapy is going to be the only way to find out for certain what the underlying cause of this orgasm problem is, and thus how it is ultimately going to get solved.  A pervasive problem is by nature not going to go away on its own.  But you can fix it.

A lot of people think that once an individual has gotten away from the first person who has ever abused them, that the problem is going to go away.  Unfortunately, problems of this nature simply do not disappear that easily.  And often, the individual who was originally abused will subconsciously seek out people who have the same abusive tendencies as the original person who hurt them, because that is what feels comfortable and normal.  A person can get used to pretty much anything, after all.  And in a case like that, a person “escapes” from the source of it all, only to continue the trend somewhere else.

While it can be a sad (and even an angry) revelation to the person that they are basically walking back into the same situation by seeking out similar people to their original abuser, this is the sort of situation where intervention may actually be necessary.  If the tendencies are there, then it is simply a matter of setting off the new abuser for the same behavioral pattern to assert itself in this new place.  In order for a real change to take place, the abused person has got to look for something completely different.

Far too many women believe that they have got the monopoly on being sexually assaulted and abused.  It is true that men do tend to be physically stronger, and that many kinds of sex acts do require that the man’s penis be erect.  But whether or not an erection occurs, the fact is that sexuality consists of far more than simply inserting a penis into a vagina.  In a situation where a woman uses force or coercision to get a man to do anything that he is genuinely unwilling to do (with a particular emphasis on providing oral sex or other alternative activities), rape has essentially occurred.

Sadly, far too many people just assume that men always “want it,” and that it could never be rape as a consequence of that.  But what too often happens when a person (whether it be a man or a woman) rapes a man is that the guy is just too ashamed to come forward in the first place.  After all, why admit to being “too weak” to fight off someone, if no one is going to believe what you say in the first place?  No one really knows how often a man is sexually violated.

Do you ever find that you would really rather not have sex with your significant other?  Does their body actually turn you off, as opposed to on?  Do you feel as if they are basically just using you to get their sexual desires fulfilled?  If these kinds of thoughts are passing through your head during a period of time in which the most appropriate response is to be sexually aroused, it would make perfect sense if you can not reach an orgasm.  How could anybody orgasm properly for a person who simply does not arouse them, or for whom there is disdain?

The sad truth of the matter is that it may actually not be salvageable.  If you believe that the relationship might be able to be saved, you are always welcome to try out sort it out between the two of you.  But if this is a situation in which there is an abundance of bitterness which has built up, it may actually be too late to pursue any sort of thereapeutic options.  As painful as it might be to face the facts, sometimes a relationship has just got to die, so that both of you can move on.

Naturally, you always want to make sure that someone else knows where you are going to be.  Otherwise, you may end up being kidnapped- and many kidnappings lead to being murdered.  But even when you are just going about your normal daily business, it is much safer to go accompanied by someone else.  Whether it is a male friend or a female one, there is definitely strength in numbers.  Very few rapists are cocky enough to attack a small group, because they are less likely to be successful and more likely to be caught.

But not being physically by yourself is just one component of the whole deal.  Even when you are physically by yourself, not being alone can extend into having a strong social network behind and around you.  If you should happen to be attacked during that rare but inevitable moment when you are physically by yourself, having a solid social network is a much better way to heal in the aftermath of it all.  Your physical safety is great, but your emotional well being is a very important thing, as well.

The first step is to mentally train yourself to snap into a fight or flight reaction at a moment’s notice.  Generally, rape has a preamble to it.  Someone gets you alone, and you think that he might be fun, but then he stops being gentle about getting what he wants.  A victim tries to scream for help.  You might find that clawing at his eyes, grabbing and sharply yanking his groin and punching his neck will more effectively halt his aggressive actions.  There can be no moment of “morality” in a situation like this.  You may have a split second after identifying a threat before it becomes too late to strike back, and you have got to seize that moment.

Another thing that you can do in order to protect yourself is to never go places alone unless you are certain in your ability to defend yourself.  One of the big differences between how a man gets attacked versus how a woman gets attacked are that men are typically punched, and women are typically grabbed.  Any wannabe rapist with half a brain knows that it is far harder to grab two women than to grab one.

First off, you are going to need to be very aware of your surroundings, and what everyone around you is doing.  Many people think that self defense is about fancy moves.  That is not the case in the slightest.  On the one hand, it might seem a little bit like paranoia to be constantly on alert.  But this is not paranoia- it is just awareness.  When you are alert, you can tell when someone “might” rape you when they are still across the street, and move accordingly.  Nobody wants to try to make a victim out of a person who is a step ahead of them.

Another vital component of defending yourself actively is to learn how to use your body effectively.  Notice that we are not just talking about delivering blows.  You do not have to become the female equivalent of Bruce Lee in order to regain your confidence and defend yourself if the situation demands it.  What you do need to do, however, is learn how to move, how to escape holds, and how (and most importantly, where) to strike, to bring a strong man to his knees.

While it might sound harsh to want to “kill” the victim, this is not the case at all.  As a matter of fact, killing your inner victim does not hurt anything about you.  Rather, it strengthens you to continue onward in your life, as your inner victim’s energy is absorbed, and can be redirected toward more useful pursuits (like just about anything).  But of course, killing your inner victim is not simply a matter of doing affirmations or visualizing its death.

Your inner victim feeds on your sense of self doubt.  When you doubt yourself, you put up blocks in your path to any kind of positive progress.  Often, after a terrible event like being raped, a person actually begins to believe that they are not worthy of achieving any kind of success in life.  In order to kill the victim, you have got to take control of your life as much as you possibly can.  So freelance, volunteer, take self defense classes, learn to shoot guns- just do something that makes you feel powerful and in control.

A significant number of homosexual men have been molested as small boys.  Often these are the “bottoms” types of men, who prefer to receive penetration and perform oral sex on other men.  They often take on the role of manipulator, which expresses that their inner child is in charge of their sex life.  The inner child believes that while others have most of the power, this is power which can be gotten from them through the use of manipulative tactics and their emotions.  While effective, these tactics are often cruel and unhealthy for those on the receiving end of them.

Most nymphomaniacs were molested at some point in their lives.  While this is the kind of thing that is difficult to talk about, and many will play it off nonchalantly, it is possible that their hypersexuality is an attempt to derive some sort of meaning from their earlier experience.  It may even be possible that the nymphomaniac associates sexuality as a symbol of receiving love, as opposed to getting nothing more than carnal pleasure from the act.  In any case, this is definitely a life long change.

Rape victims are never at fault, though feelings of guilt are common. In many cases, instances of rape go unreported and the victim is left with the aftermath. Although it may not seem like a big deal at first, the emotional and psychological damage of rape can be prevalent in your life for years to come if you do not address the issues. Former rape victims are often isolated and angry. In addition, they have a difficult time forming relationships, and can have a disdain towards women or men, depending on the gender of the original perpetrator.

If you are a past rape victim, there are still ways to get help even long after you are able to make a case against a perpetrator. Rape cases are only dismissed due to a lack of evidence. Try talking to a close relative or friend. If you are in a situation where your family tries to hide the incident, then they are not helping you, but actually hindering your efforts of recovering from rape trauma.

There are a plethora of counselors that can help rape victims recover from the psychological damage left by the perpetrator. Do not avoid counseling for fear that you cannot afford it. There is help available sometimes at no cost through interpersonal counseling as well as through telephone hotlines. Victims never deserve rape or the following personal impacts.

Name-calling is the most obvious form of emotional abuse. This is not the occasional outburst that one later feels bad about. The name-calling is constant and is repeated even when the other person is doing their best to please.

Emotional abuse is prevalent among relationships and is not a random act, because it takes really knowing a person for the perpetrator to be able to conduct the abuse. An emotional abuser knows your fears and doubts and can play on those. For example, if you have a fear of a particular place or thing, the abuser will constantly throw it in your face and make you feel bad and humiliated.

Parents that use emotional abuse against their children as a control mechanism risk delayed development socially and mentally. Parents tend to abuse their children in this way intentionally sometimes out of malice, but it more commonly stems from a lack of confidence in traditional parenting skills. Examples of parental emotional abuse include teasing, constant criticism, name-calling, invalidation and abandonment.

Your emotional abuser likely makes you afraid to seek for help and may even make you feel like they are not the problem. Any form of abuse, whether physical or non-physical is not okay and it is never the victim’s fault. If you do not have the courage to access professional help, at least confide in a friend or family member who can seek help for you.

If you suspect a friend or a family member is in an abusive relationship, reach out to him immediately. Do not be aggressive, or else he might shut down. Listen and offer support.

Rape victims are never at fault, though feelings of guilt are common. In many cases, instances of rape go unreported and the victim is left with the aftermath. Although it may not seem like a big deal at first, the emotional and psychological damage of rape can be prevalent in your life for years to come if you do not address the issues. Former rape victims are often isolated and angry. In addition, they have a difficult time forming relationships, and can have a disdain towards women or men, depending on the gender of the original perpetrator.

If you are a past rape victim, there are still ways to get help even long after you are able to make a case against a perpetrator. Rape cases are only dismissed due to a lack of evidence. Try talking to a close relative or friend. If you are in a situation where your family tries to hide the incident, then they are not helping you, but actually hindering your efforts of recovering from rape trauma.

There are a plethora of counselors that can help rape victims recover from the psychological damage left by the perpetrator. Do not avoid counseling for fear that you cannot afford it. There is help available sometimes at no cost through interpersonal counseling as well as through telephone hotlines. Victims never deserve rape or the following personal impacts.

Money often lead to blame. A laid-off father feels like less of a man and he can feel even worse if he thinks the family looks down upon him. Instances like an unprecedented unemployment rate cannot be helped, but it does not improve a family’s situation or bring about that lost income. Blaming a partner increases stress and leads to a greater chance of abuse. This can be physical or emotional. In fact, incessant blaming is a form of emotional abuse.

Whenever the economy turns, instances of abuse increase. The news fills with stories of family members that snap and turn on each other. In worse case scenarios, some even kill out of emotion and desperation. Although such persons are pressured, this is certainly not an excuse for violence. In fact, some people may use this as an excuse to justify their actions.

Given the increased chance of abuse from a lack of money, some wrongly conclude that a plethora of money will solve their needs. It is not the amount of money that puts families at ease, but the lack of stress from having enough money so that a family can meet its basic needs.

No matter what your family’s financial circumstance, there is never an excuse for violence. If you and your partner’s money issues are affecting your relationship, seek counseling. If you are a victim of abuse, seek professional help or ask a friend for help. Whenever faced with a financial crisis, it is best to keep your cool and work on issues together.

Birth control pills are a good tool for sexually active women who do not desire a pregnancy at this point in their lives. So what do you do when your teenager asks for oral contraception? Although the thought of your daughter being sexually active may seem irksome, it is a fact that teenagers have sex and share some of the same physical and emotional desires as adults.

If you have already talked to your teen about sex, you are off to a good start. Being open about such a serious matter decreases the chance of unwanted pregnancies and STDs. Do not be concerned if you did not know your teen was sexually active before she asked for birth control. This may be her way of telling you. Or, perhaps, she is thinking about having sex and wants to have options to protect herself.

When your teen asks for oral contraception, talk to her about why she wants to be sexually active and help her make sure it’s for all of the right reasons. Examples of wrong reasons include to please a boy or because of peer pressure. Take her to a doctor for a check-up and so that she can become educated on all of her options. Ensure that she knows oral contraceptives do not protect her against STDs and HIV. To play it safe, her boyfriend should wear condoms.

The best thing you can do is offer support to help protect your teen. The worst thing you can do is to forbid her from sex. She will likely find a way and may end up facing the consequences.

First, it is important to note that there are different types of abuse. Physical abuse is the most predominant type of abuse, but it can be hard to detect if the child hides the evidence under clothing or bandages. If you ask about burns, scratches, or bruises, a child will typically act nervous and make up a lie, deeming the cause as an accident.

Neglect is another form of abuse. In such cases, you can visibly see that the child is not properly cared for, and perhaps has torn clothing or is unkempt. Neglect also involves constantly leaving a child home alone or failure to pick them up from places such as school.

Emotional abuse also involves neglect, but encompasses other signs. Emotionally abusive parents constantly talk down to their child, making them feel worthless and unloved. A lack of self-esteem is exhibited by children who are emotionally abused. Such children also act below their age.

Children also exhibit certain signs of sexual abuse. They may be afraid to go home or be around other adults. During gym or sports activities, they might not want to go to the locker room. Bedwetting is common in younger sexually abused children.

The last thing you want to do is wrongly accuse a parent of child abuse. In some cases, it is difficult to detect. When in doubt, seek the advice of a counselor or attempt to approach the child your self. If you ever suspect child abuse, do not hesitate to contact your local child welfare agency.

At this point, new questions may come to light. Do you keep the baby? Should you have an abortion? What are your options? What is the right thing to do?

The last question may depend upon your own morals and religious beliefs. Most people that are pro-life are conservative Christians. Extremely conservative people believe that you should keep any baby, no matter what the circumstances are. It wasn’t fair that you were raped, but it isn’t the baby’s fault that he was conceived in such a matter.

On the flip side, maybe you don’t want a baby or are financially unstable. Or the thought of having a baby from a rapist is just too much to handle. It’s justifiable to have such feelings. How could you possibly take care of a baby when you need to take care of yourself right now?

There is no right or wrong decision in this matter, as every situation is different. The thing to remember is that it is your decision, and yours alone to make. If you decide to keep the baby, there are support groups available to help you. If you do not have the money, there are various government programs to ensure that you and your baby receive proper health care and nutrition.

If you decide that having this baby is the wrong thing to do, you can see your gynecologist to discuss abortion options. She may refer you to a surgeon or recommend the abortion pill.

Also consider taking the morning after pill if you are raped in order to prevent unwanted pregnancy in the first place.

Sex education is designed to teach children about the human body, pregnancy, and consequences of unprotected sex. The sessions do not advocate sex, but rather teach teens how to be safe for when the time does come. Some classes even teach young women how to avoid rape and where to get help is someone does abuse them in such a way.

The problem is that not all parents advocate sex education classes. There are a number of reasons. First, parents might feel that their child is too young or that they would rather take it upon themselves to teach about sex and safety. Sex education classes also do not sit well with families who advocate abstinence until marriage, due to religious beliefs.

Some people are also afraid that sex education advocates sex, or may give children sexual ideas and inclinations. Given the subject matter, the classes may instead turn children off from having sex too young. During the class, children are exposed to pictures of STDs, the idea of teen pregnancy, and rape. Such images or ideas are not likely to conjure sexual motives in children.

For these reasons, children are required to gain parental consent in the form of writing before attending the classes. Before considering banning your child from a class, talk to the teacher about the lesson plans and offer your concerns. Also consider the consequences of not letting your child attend class. He or she may miss out on some valuable information about STDs, pregnancy, safety, and a number of other issues.

There are different levels of OCD behavior. Some people joke that they are OCD, when they are really perfectionists. OCD is also part of a type of personality disorder, called Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD), in which the patient does not even recognize a problem. Regular OCD is recognizable, but the patient is also sometimes embarrassed to confront it. Unlike being a perfectionist, OCD thoughts and behaviors are disruptive enough to mess with your daily plans or even your entire life.

With all of the awareness of OCD, there is no reason to feel embarrassed or to think that there is nothing you can do about it. There are different types of treatments ranging from therapy to medications. Therapy can be on an individual, family or group basis, depending on your preference and your doctor’s recommendations. Therapy is used to help you identify the obsessive thoughts you have to help control compulsive behaviors.

Medications for OCD are used to help prevent obsessive thoughts from occurring in the brain in the first place. These help level out different hormones such as serotonin. The most common OCD medications are anti-depressants such as Zoloft and Prozac. These are taken on a daily basis, often for the rest of your life. Sometimes, medication can interfere with your sleep. If this is the case, talk to your doctor and do not quit the medicine without his consent.

You may have been in an abusive relationship and were able to leave it after some time. It takes a lot of courage and can be frightening, particularly if the perpetrator threatens you with violence, lack of money, or by ruining your reputation in some way. In some cases, victims of abusive relationships might undergo abuse in other future relationships.

Keep in mind that abuse stems from a longing for control. Some victims are more susceptible to control, perhaps because have a laid-back personality. In other cases, victims have been abused for so many years that they do not know any other way. Those who were victims of parental abuse, for example, are more likely to become victims in other relationships during adulthood.

Abuse is never the victim’s fault. However, if you find yourself getting out of one abusive relationship only to enter another, it may be time to reflect on this pattern. What is it that attracts you to these relationships? Does the controlling aspect initially make you feel secure? By figuring out these factors, you may help yourself break the pattern of abusive relationships.

It is hard to figure out the answers, especially if you have been a long-term victim of abuse. Counseling can help you recover from abuse and help give you the self-esteem and courage to break free from abusive cycles.

In some homes, a parent is regularly violent against the other parent. Younger children are more likely to think that such actions are normal. For example, a father might hit a child’s mother out of shear anger. For someone extremely young these actions probably seem okay, since it is assumed that parents know everything and are always right.

The older that children become, they might recognize that these behaviors are not acceptable. They will begin to identify the emotions of the victim and recognize any violent patterns that exist in the home. Children will also see their friends’ families and how they act toward one another. If violence is not the norm in those households, then the child will begin to question his families’ actions.

It becomes more disconcerting is a child is abused by his parents. Again, the violence may seem normal to a young child because he doesn’t know any different. Once he is more emotionally developed and exposed to the world, he may recognize that he is a victim of parental abuse.

How does a child get help when a normal child usually turns to her parents for any life crisis? Children are not as apt to come forward since they are afraid of an abusive parent. The abuse may also make them question the reliability of other adults in their life. If a child does come to you, listen carefully and contact the appropriate authorities. Also do the same if you alone suspect family violence going on in a particular household.

Abuse stems from control. In the past, women were expected to be subservient to their husbands. As a result, many women did not put up a fight against relationship abuse. Sadly, abuse was accepted and rarely questioned. The role of a woman was to please their man in every way. If they came up short, then they deserved it.

Since the feminist movement, an awareness of relationship violence has increased. In today’s society, it is expected that women be treated equally. To follow suit, boys are raised to treat girls with respect.

The change in society may explain why there is an increase in abuse on the part of women. This is not because women expect to be more powerful, but rather these particular women do not fear the consequences of abusing their men. In most cases, the abuse is emotional. These women want everything on their terms. Thus, they control their partners, make them feel guilty, and belittle them in order to get their way. Today, the majority of men do not fight back against female abuse, because they are taught to hold their partners with the utmost respect.

Respect is a critical part of any successful relationship. However, respect does not equate to an excuse for relationship abuse. The dynamics of abuse are becoming more difficult to identify as both sexes can equally be the perpetrators.

Different online organizations have systems where you can type in your address and see if there are convicted sex offenders in your area. Chances are, there is at least one in your vicinity.

So now that you know, what do you do? It is reasonable to be paranoid; after all, your children may be at risk. However, keep in mind that there are all kinds of dangers in the world. It is important that you keep your child informed, just as you would do in any other situation.

Your first step might be to avoid that particular home. This may be difficult if the house resides in a place that is a common passing area for your family. Ensure that your child is never alone. Young children should always be accompanied by you or another family adult. Teenagers, who are much more independent, should always have a friend with them.

Also teach your children how to avoid strangers. Of course there are exceptions to the rule, such as uniformed police men. Children should also be taught the tricks that strangers might use to lure them. Common examples are promises of gifts and a need for help. Teach your child your phone number and address. This way, your child can relay pertinent family information to a 911 dispatcher or a police officer.

Although this may seem scary to think about, or even over-protective to some parents, it is best that your children are prepared in any type of dangerous situation. This includes an encounter with a predator.

The approach believes that it does not matter whether the victim takes precautions or not. What matters is whether the rapist is it stopped from perpetrating the heinous crime or not. On the other hand, the other line of thought adopts a more practical and pragmatic approach. It points out that the victim is the suffering party irrespective of who has the intention and who commits the crime. In such a scenario, the victim can establish control by taking necessary precautions.

The latter approach is criticized for perpetrating the mindset that the victim, at the end of the day, is ultimately to blame for the rape. If precautions are taken and yet the crime occurs, the victim is blamed for not taking sufficient measures. This criticism that emphasis should be on the rapist and not on the victim seems logical and fair.

In such a scenario, striking the right balance becomes very difficult. This is something that each and every individual will have to choose depending on personal preferences. There is no need to make changes to one’s behavior or dressing style to avoid or prevent rape. However, it certainly is possible to protect oneself by opting for a pepper spray or undergoing a martial arts course.

At the end of the day, the person who stands to lose the most has to bear the responsibility of taking adequate security measures. Whether the measures are proactive or are based on a defensive mindset depends on personal choice. To simply blame others or to indulge in theoretical arguments is not the sensible way out.

Most of us presume that are such instances cannot happen in our family. We visualize rapes as acts perpetrated by strangers on female family member. The truth is that majority of the rapes are done by those individuals who were known to the victim. Secondly, the crime may not be restricted to females only. Even young male individuals are equally susceptible to sexual abuse.

This may not be a very appealing task but it is essential to talk about these things in the family. Each and every family member must be encouraged to be open about such matters. The last thing you want is for your family member to conclude that support may be absent due to the closed attitude towards rape or sexual abuse.

Many persons react with shock and disbelief when they discover that their family member suffered the trauma but did not trust them enough to be open about it. One cannot expect a victim of rape or sexual abuse to be completely logical and sensible about future actions. Rather, the onus is upon the family to hammer the message that it can be relied upon for support no matter what happens.

Such an approach may also lead to discussions about things that otherwise would not take place. Such transparency may help youngsters follow precautions that may reduce risk of mistakes that may lead to instances of sexual abuse.

In such a scenario, the kid uses alternative source of information about sexual health. Needless to say, it often leads to complications when they choose the wrong person for help.

Every responsible parent has two options. Either you should not bother about the child or you should be prepared to fulfill all your responsibilities. Teaching your child about various facets and aspects of sexual health is your duty. You are one person who has the welfare of the child as top most priority. You will not break the trust that the child has. In such a scenario, encouraging your child to rely upon nameless and faceless so called experts found online or friends does not make sense.

There is a tendency to provide sexual health education to females and to leave males free to find information from wherever they want. There also a belief that the male child shall find this information from friends or adult content on the internet. Such an approach means that the male child will be encouraged to check inappropriate content on the internet. It is not the right place to know more about sexual education and sexual health.

If you are not comfortable discussing these matters with your kids, you should try to work through a trusted family member. You can even opt for counseling to find the right way to discuss these issues. Do not leave your child to take care of these issues on their own. That is only going to lead to unwanted complications.

A trip to the movie in the nearby mall can become a huge security risk if the child is not cautious. It is a big bad world out there and no amount of self denial is going to change it. In such a scenario, it is very important to arrange for safety of the child from threat of rape and sexual abuse.

Do not expect others to agree with your risk assessment. You cannot ask the child to take care of these things. They need more exposure and maturity to understand the implications of such events on their life. Of course, you can set the ground rules and insist that the child should not talk to strangers. However, you cannot simply trust the child to take care of these issues. You have to be proactive until you are satisfied that the child is smart enough to take care of these things.

Take advantage of technology. Combine it with strict discipline. Give a cell phone to your child to ensure constant contact. Establish a curfew time and insist on strict obedience. It is better to err on side of caution to reduce risk of rape and sexual abuse. Remember, these precautions are applicable to your girl ball as well as your body. Do not simply presume that boys are free of risk because they happen to be male.

It is natural for the individual to feel a sense of a nameless fear and hesitation to place trust after the event. Such a trauma is not going to be forgotten in just a day or two. Needless to say, taking care of such a family member is going to place a lot of strain on family bonding. An understanding and caring approach is necessary to not just help the person but also keep the family together.

It is natural to feel pity and sympathy for the family member affected by the crime. However, such sympathy, if not used constructively, may simply serve as a reminder to the family member of the trauma suffered. It may sound cruel but it is the job of the family members to encourage the individual to move on. Of course, the victim still feeling the pain may not take this suggestion in the right spirit. However, a patient and sensitive approach will send the message across that there is no point in dwelling on the past and that it is necessary to move on.

Do not try to be everything for the affected family member all at once. You cannot be a friend, philosopher, guide, mentor, adviser and also offer a shoulder to cry on at the same time. If you share a close relationship with the victim, it may be very difficult to admit that others may be better placed to help the victim. Your proximity may make the victim uncomfortable in seeking your help. Be there when needed- that is what family members are there for.

Addiction is a horribly debilitating affliction. You cannot control your actions, and you feel propelled to do something that you know is destructive for your body and your mind. One of the most ruthless of all addictions is the addiction to tobacco. It is the most pervasive additive substance in the world today. It can be attributed to over four hundred thousand deaths every year, and yet, the people who have this addiction are still helpless to do anything about it.

There are millions of people who would like to quit smoking but believe they can’t. The nicotine found in tobacco is one of the most addictive substances known to man. Its withdrawal effects are legendary and include weight gain, irritability, nausea, anxiety, and headaches. For those that would like to quit, it can take up to 8 to 12 weeks for these withdrawal symptoms to subside.

No matter how difficult the symptoms, the benefits of quitting smoking cannot be disputed. Within hours of quitting, your body begins to repair the damage inflicted upon it. Within 20 minutes, your blood pressure begins to return to normal. Within eight hours, the oxygen levels in your blood increase to normal. Within three months, your lung capacity is up by 30 percent. And by five years, your lung cancer death rate drops by half.

To quit smoking, especially for long-time smokers, a concerted effort is required. You need to decide what type of effort would work best for you. Some people truly can quit cold turkey and never look back. However, the majority of smokers must be weaned off of the habit of cigarettes. A good investment would be electronic cigarette starter kits. These machines will help you get the nicotine fix you are craving without the other negative chemicals. Over time, you can diminish the dosage of the nicotine so you don’t crave it anymore.

If your child is beginning to date, it is very important to explain what date rape is and how it can be avoided. Do not presume that your child is completely free of this risk because he or she is going out along with friends. All it takes is a single drink mixed with narcotics or drugs to cause your child to become unconscious. If nobody is aware of such a possibility, a date rape can easily result despite many friends being present.

Do not just focus on your child. You should make sure that all the friends of your children are also aware of the possibility of date rape. You must explain what it is and how it is normally perpetrated. You should warn about the consequences of accepting a drink from a stranger. You should explain the importance of having friends who can look out for each other.

It is one thing to have a lot of fun on a night out. However, it is a completely different thing to go around purposefully looking for trouble. You should encourage your child to have lots of fun but should also warn about the harmful consequences of meeting and getting intimate with strangers.

Make sure that you provide this information to your male child as well. Your male child may not be at high risk but knowledge may prove useful in helping others being targeted.

Making use of online resources to provide more information and to clarify doubts a smart move. However, do not make the mistake of using the internet as your replacement. It is not just a question of information and knowledge. It is also a question of establishing close bonds and telling the child that you are there no matter what happens. If the child sees you feeling uncomfortable, it may bypass you when it has doubts or needs support.

It is an obvious progression, a link between indulgence and the consequence of excess: an individual offers his time to an addiction, devoting moments to the taste of his favored substance. He’s become dependent on the effects, the thrills within his veins, the colors made somehow sharp. It is a visceral reaction that he won’t deny – and he believes there’s no reason to. His life has not been altered. He can still function; he can still speak to those who know nothing of his latest obsession. There is no reason to worry. He is in control…. except he’s not.

One evening becomes too great of an experiment. He offers himself too many inhalations and too few cautions; and the world is shifted into base desires. He is not himself. He is instead shaped to impulses. And the girlfriend who was merely to spend hours studying with him becomes sudden prey.

Substance abuse is far more than a dependence on drugs. It is instead proven to heighten the chance for unprotected intercourse, rape, incest, the transmission of diseases and other sexual offenses. Addiction is not a singular ailment. It instead infects all who come into contact with it.

It is estimated (as of 2010) that 10 percent of all high school females are raped due to the involvement of alcohol. The use of Methamphetamine is proven to stimulate arousal and can triple the chances of an individual being unaware of their partner’s refusals. Taking Ecstasy can lower any user’s inhibitions and make them twice as likely to demand sex. And teens who over-indulge in any form of drugs are 20 percent more likely to be abused.

The facts are clear. The results are devastating.

It is imperative therefore that individuals understand the effects of substance abuse and seek help from sources like Rehab-International.org. Treatment can be accomplished – and it must be accomplished soon.

For starters, the mere fact that you are there to listen to what your friend has to say makes a huge difference. The individual who has been abused and suppressed will often try to accommodate what others have to say. They will subject their own opinion and thought to the thoughts of others. In such a scenario, encouraging your friend to speak out and encouraging a friend to have an opinion can be a first step towards recovery.

You may not be an expert in legal matters. However, this does not mean you cannot help your friend get support. Just a quick search on the internet is sufficient to provide detailed information about the various organizations working towards this goal.

From organizations that provide emotional and psychological support to other organizations that initiate legal action against the abuser-there are many solutions available online. You can do this on your own and provide information to your friend so that he or she knows what steps to take and how to overcome the problem.

If your friend has kids, you can take up the task of distracting them from the crisis at hand. Of course, the psychological impact of watching their parent being abused will not go very soon. However, your efforts to restore normalcy and treat them like normal kids is it definitely going to help.

It is important to stay there irrespective of your financial and other abilities. As long as you are there and your friend knows that you can be trusted, it will help him or her tackle the problem faster.

The woman was sexually abused; and the truth, she’s learned, can’t be hidden beneath alcohol. This doesn’t stop her from trying, though.

Those who have been assaulted will often become dependent on some form of liquor. The statistics are unfortunate: nine percent of those who suffered childhood rapes will become addicted to drinking before they have passed the age of 18. Those who were abused as adults, however, are likely to become users within the first year after their attack (13.9 percent).

And this becomes a danger as the effects of alcohol are exaggerated within the female form, as opposed to a man’s. Women greatly increase their chances for cirrhosis, hepatitis, heart failure, and breast cancer. When drinking becomes an indulgence, it offers no rewards – only worries.

It is still the most common drug of choice for those who have been victimized, however. It is estimated that 50 percent of women will select alcohol to help them forget their attack, as opposed to the 20 percent who will choose recreational drugs. This cannot continue. The damage caused by drinking is irreparable and potentially fatal.

It is vital, then, for women to find treatment. There are institutions available such as lapalomatreatment.com, that can offer therapy and support – both of which are essential in recognizing alcoholism and its cause.

Rape could never be forgiven. It cannot, however, become an addiction. Seek help and discover the necessary strength.

This means that the friends and relatives who have supported the victim often end up getting ignored and even insulted. You must understand that this is not intentional. Rather, it is an attempt by the individual to restore balance. The fact that your support was required is obviously going to hurt the ego of the individual.

This may sound paradoxical but the truth is that a person who was willing to submit to domestic abuse from their partner will not be pleased about the fact that he or she has obtained favors from you. You must encourage this paradox because this is the best way to set the individual on the path of recovery. You cannot be there all the time to protect the person from abuse. Rather, you will have to inflate the ego and the confidence of the individual to such an extent that he or she never accepts abuse again.

Former counseling may be required if the extent of abuse has been ongoing for very long time. Do not overestimate your capacity to understand the extent of the problem. Your desire to make everything all right very quickly may work counter productive.

In some cases, it is necessary for the individual to introspect and brood over the loss suffered. This may run contrary to your desires and expectations. Rather than enforcing your view, it is better to have a formally trained counselor take over the task. You can do your bit by directing the individual to the right counselor for maximum benefits.

Those who suffer sexual complications during their formative years become highly distraught. Their emotions cannot be controlled and their bodies are often pained. Because of this they tend to rely on drugs and alcohol later in their lives, and this truth is as unfortunate as it is undeniable.

The emergence of addiction within young adults is often a symptom of victimization (specifically concerning incest). A staggering 57 percent of children who use illegal substances began after their first assault; while an estimated 45 percent of all women now seeking treatment for addiction were molested as girls. Those who had been raped – whether by an immediate family member or a stranger – were found to be 10 times more likely to attempt hard drugs.

The pattern is clear. It must now be erased.

Those who have been abused are encouraged not to give in to the temptation of drugs or alcohol. These are not cures (however appealing they may be). Instead treatment – for both the spiritual and physical worries – must be utilized. Organizations like MichaelsHouse.com must be sought out, with their many doctors and psychologists consulted. Anger, hatred, confusion: these are feelings that must be acknowledged. They cannot be buried beneath an addiction. Help must instead be secured to work toward a normal, healthy life.

And, though that may seem to be an unlikely thing, it is instead a possibility. It simply requires your strength and not any form of substances.

Well, if this issue is considered literally, there’s no doubt that you are a victim of domestic abuse. However, your lack of understanding and lack of desire to help the partner progress in career can be construed as domestic abuse. It can be described as abuse by you against your partner.

The issue is important because it affects the mental and physical well being of the individual. Remember, every relationship will have ups and downs because of disagreement between the partners. It need not necessarily qualify for domestic abuse.

Frequently accusing your partner of abuse and threatening to initiate legal action may itself qualify as a symptom of abuse on your part. Rather than focusing on legalities, you should focus on the health of your relationship. There are many couples that have numerous disagreements and yet continue to love each other and respect each other.

If you are satisfied with your relationship and if you feel that you have complete opportunity to live your life the way you want, then you would obviously conclude that such disagreements do not qualify as abuse.

However, if you are losing your individual entity and if you are merely becoming a puppet in the hands of your partner, there’s no doubt that it is very bad situation to be in. Your physical and mental health is going to be affected and you should take remedial action immediately.

Well, any person who is asked to hand over complete financial control to the other partner and who has not given the freedom to have a say in these matters is also a victim of abuse. Remember, excessive control is also a form of abuse.

This often leads to confusing thoughts because there are numerous instances where we have seen other persons in relationships being controlled by their partners. Well, whether the control is excessive enough to qualify for abuse is something that only you can decide. However, it is better to err on the side of caution.

If your partner is loving and caring and if he or she is simply excessively cautious as far as finance are concern, then it may not be abuse. If you have the freedom of taking your own decisions provided you consider what the other person has to say, it cannot be called as abuse. Of course, if you are given choice only for namesake and if you have no option but to obey whatever the other partner says, then it may qualify as domestic abuse.

Rather than focusing on semantics and rather than trying to get into detailed interpretation, you should look for combination of various factors to control whether the relationship itself is abusive or not.

If excessive control is combined with loss of temper, humiliating behavior and even perverse sexual demands in bed, it is obvious that your relationship is suffering from abuse. On the other hand, if none of these factors are present and if there is only a certain level of control in financial matters, it is merely over caution on the part of your partner.

In other cases, the fact that abuse has not been frequent is used as an excuse. If you find yourself giving such excuses, you should conclude that you are in an abusive relationship and that you should walk out of it immediately. It does not matter whether you have a formal relationship or whether you are simply living in with your abusive partner. Irrespective of the nature of relationship, you should take steps to eliminate the abuse as quickly as possible.

Why is this so important? There are numerous studies that have indicated that people in abusive relationships suffer a lot more than what they feel or think. There are numerous instances where individuals have been driven to suicide because of an abusive relationship. The controlling partner makes life miserable and leaves the individual with no choice but to take the easy way out.

The worst part is that there are numerous solutions available provided the individual takes the step ahead and discloses the same. There is no need to do everything publicly. Even an anonymous mail dropped in the mailbox or in the e-mail inbox of any organization supporting such persons should be sufficient to lead to action against the abusive partner.

There have been instances where law enforcement authorities have taken immediate action where they anticipated violence against the victim. Hence, you have nothing to worry and can easily move out of an abusive relationship if you play your cards right.

First, listen. Victims need to communicate thoughts and feelings as they recover. This can be a difficult situation for you, but simply letting them explain how they feel or even just letting them vent about what they are feeling can make a huge difference. You can show support for the individual in many other ways, but through listening, you show that you are really there for them and that you truly care.

Help them seek professional help. In addition to your support, victims need sensitive medical counseling or other kinds of professional help.

Watch for signs that the victim might be inappropriately channeling stress. In some cases, victims of abuse may need help from drug and alcohol treatment centers because they’ve turned to substances or alcohol to help them cope with their situation.

You need to realize that there’s a limit to how much you can help. You may experience feelings of anger, frustration, and helplessness. You should suppress the urge to express those feelings to the survivor. This is very important during the times when the victim may be silent, crying or internalizing.

Remember that you may need special care in this situation as you strive to be sensitive to your loved one. These types of situations can be stressful and detrimental to the closest support person. Since you may not be able to express some emotions, you might want to find other friends or even trained professionals in whom you can confide.

Well, nobody is asking you to be impulsive and put yourself at risk. However, there is a huge difference in taking steps to move out of relationship safely and sticking to it out of fear. You may feel scared to inform the abusive partner to his or her face that you are moving out. However, there is nothing stopping you from walking out of the house bag and baggage when he or she is not around.

What if you are stopped and what if you were treated with violence? Well, you have the right to walk into the nearest the police station and file a complaint. Informing the police that you have been abused will be sufficient to put your partner behind bars.

If you don’t want the matter to reach an official level, you can always have the law enforcement authorities have a word with your partner to lay off from troubling you. In most cases, the fact that you had the courage to walk up to law enforcement authorities will be sufficient to help the abusive partner subside.

If you are not comfortable walking into a police station on your own, you can make use of various support organizations that help people overcome domestic abuse. It may not be necessarily physical abuse. You will get advice on how to prove that you have been abused and how you can overcome the problem.

You will even get advice on how to get a job and how to get fun and joy back in your life. Getting support from third parties will also help you clarify many doubts that may be plaguing you.

Just because you are married to a person or are intimate to a person does not mean that he or she gets the right to abuse you. The phrase domestic abuse refers to abuse by one partner on another.

It may not be necessarily inside the confines of a house. Shouting at you in public or even posting obscene comments against you in a social networking profile will amount to domestic abuse.

It is important to understand the difference between domestic abuse and an abusive relationship. A relationship where this abuse has become the norm and has followed a set pattern is an abusive relationship. Domestic abuse, under very limited circumstances, maybe condoned if you are confident that it will not happen again. However, an abusive relationship should be terminated immediately.

There are numerous horror stories where individuals who permitted the partner to be abusive ended up suffering from physical, mental and emotional harassment. It is natural to feel pain and fear at the violence. It is also natural to feel a sense of pity and sympathy to the person who is abusing you for a very long time.

However, you should not hesitate to move out of the security that your relationship offers. This is because domestic abuse is just not the right price to pay for enjoying a stable relationship.

In any case, abusive relationship is all about the abuser and not about the person getting abused. Hence, if you don’t want to lose their individual identity, you should move out of a domestic abuse relationship as early as possible.

We all have spoken in grand terms about our independence and our self respect. When somebody that uses you, physically or emotionally, it is a direct attack on your self respect. The fact that you are continuing to live with such a person despite the abuse clearly shows that you do not value yourself. Further, it shows that you are insecure about your future and that you want the company of a partner even if it comes at a very high cost.

Convincing all these points can be very embarrassing because it is an admission of guilt. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. The fact that you are feeling inferior clearly shows that you have given your consent. Things are very difficult after the information is passed on to friends and relatives. For starters, people will react with pity and sympathy but it will also result in a complete lack of respect for the individual.

This is natural because no individual ought to submit to domestic abuse. Yet, very few people have the maturity to understand that things are not as simple as they are in other instances.

They have been innumerable instances where relatives have tried to take over the life of the person suffering the abuse and have were started giving instructions and orders instead of providing support. Of course, each and every intervention is based on a good and noble thought. However, this can be very embarrassing and difficult for the victim. This is particularly true if he or she has a special responsibilities towards children and others.

If your friend or relative is suffering from domestic abuse, what can you do to provide support? Most of us feel the sense of indignation and try to storm into their house and teach the abusive partner a lesson. However, such an approach will work only if you are prepared to bear all the consequences.

If the abusive partner throws the victim out of the house, then you should be prepared to provide an alternative accommodation. You should provide financial, physical and emotional support for the individual to get his or her life back on track.

If you do not wish to make any changes to lifestyle and simply wish to make the problem go away, you obviously are not going to succeed. It is important to leave the victim in charge at all times. You have been brought up in different circumstances and have a different mindset. There is no doubt that you will never become a victim of abuse. However, it is your friend who has become a victim and it is your duty to help him or her come out of the defensive mindset.

Being very aggressive is not going to work because that is only going to end up being another form of abuse. It is obvious that your friend is a very passive person. Had that not been the case, he or she would never have accepted the abuse. Hence, you will have to be very soft-spoken and you will have to provide an opportunity for the other party to express his or her emotions.

Next, you should focus on practical as well as emotional aspects of recovery. The emotional aspect will take a lot of time. However, practical issues like a place to stay, lifestyle, or a job and others such details must be clarified as early as possible.

Many tragic events, such as rape, lead a person to begin using drugs or alcohol as a way to escape from the terrible reality of the event. The mind- and mood-altering ability of narcotics and alcohol help dull the pain and the emotional gambit that often accompanies tragedy.

In order to break the addiction, people in this position may need to undergo counseling. It can be difficult to learn how to cope with tragedy, especially when one has run away from facing the issue for a long period of time. Adding withdrawal symptoms and other addiction issues only complicates the recovery process.

If you or someone you know is in that position, you may need to look into alcohol and drug treatment centers that offer behavior modification counseling. You will have to learn what triggers the addiction, and you will need to learn how to handle triggers in a healthy way. Failing to deal with the underlying issue often causes addicts to resume their using behavior. For many, the physiological connection between the addiction and the tragic event requires an extensive amount of therapy and follow-up.

As more and more treatment centers understand the connection between tragedy and addiction, people can expect to see these facilities offering counseling designed to handle the negative impact the tragedy has had on the addict’s life.

People who are struggling to handle their past may need to enter a residential program. With a residential program, a person has the ability to leave behind the setting or the area where the tragic event happened. This in and of itself can be liberating. Imagine walking down the same street that passes an alley where someone hurt you. Residential programs remove people from these harsh reminders until they are ready to deal with the tragedy.

Sometimes tragic things happen that you can’t control, but you can control your decision to get help.

When a child is abused sexually, it is sometimes called molestation. Many times the other person involved is still a child or fairly young also. The majority of the time, they were abused when they were children themselves. It is significant to note that most children who are abused do not speak up. Often they have been threatened by them or they promise they will hurt others that they love. They think that by not speaking out they are actually helping the situation.

Even if they did want to, there are social taboos that the child would be enmeshed in for the rest of his life. Many feel very guilty since it happened at the time when they were becoming naturally curious about the human body. This is the age that the offender targets and they look for children of that age primarily. This occurs in all social classes and any ethnic group. The average targeted age is between nine and ten years old for both girls and boys.

The highest percentage of the children targeted are Caucasian children. Indecent exposure is also considered a form of abuse and so is showing pornography to a child. If you notice that a child of this age has had a dramatic change in behavior and is now exhibiting a withdrawn personality, it may be a good idea to engage them in a conversation and perhaps refer them to a trusted adult figure. If they begin to act out, it would be wise to refer them to a hot line or contact the counseling center of the school. This could be happening in the home or any other close familial seeing group.

One of the hurdles to understanding this is that many rape or sexual abuse victims do not want to have hard feelings toward their attacker. Though this may seem strange, it’s important to remember that most rapes are not stranger rapes, but actions from people who the victim knows and likely even trusted. This is part of what makes the crime so incredibly damaging—so damaging, in fact, that noticeable recovery usually takes years of therapy and even prescription medication.

Even without the big picture of what’s going on, it’s important to acknowledge that the person—whatever other strengths they may have—did something absolutely terrible. The next step beyond this can often be toward a form of reconciliation, however, and a part of that is seeing the big picture problems.

The truth is that we live in a culture that creates opportunities and even motivation for sexual violence. The primary form of communication in regards to sexuality is silence, men are raised in a typically sexist environment where violence is seen as normal, and sex is seen as the primary social evaluation for young-adult males, and the consequences of rape (even rape that happens because of sheer ignorance on the man’s part) are not understood. These things create a world that is dangerous to live in. By seeing this, it’s possible to direct feelings of anger and injustice in a healthier direction.

If you or your child have been sexually abused, you can make a civil case and take the offender o court. You can sue for damages for injuries and include the medical bills and lost wages also. Unfortunately, there is still such a social stigma involved with rape that the victim is traumatized not only physically but emotionally as well. Never the less, if there was unwanted touching, it is considered assault and battery. If some one has used their authority in an unreasonable or dishonest way, it is called unlawful restraint.

If you catch some one watching you or listening to you with out your permission, it is called invasion of privacy. When some one intentionally acts in a way that can cause you extreme distress emotionally, it is called negligent infliction of emotional distress.
If this has happened, this person has broken the law. They are the one who needs to stop his inappropriate actions and pay for the damages. They can no longer mess with your emotions and hurt or threaten you or your loved ones.

You or your child may have been abused by some one in authority. If they begin to show signs of shame or guilt and low self esteem, you should look into his schedule of activities deeper. Look for any bruises or if he is suddenly making excuses for not wanting to attend school. If the depression and detachment continue or get worse, you may need to consider changing schools for him. He may not feel safe enough to talk about it until he is out of the environment completely. You will need to make the first move for him.

The purpose of an alcohol rehab program or rehab center is to provide you with the support that you need in order to overcome an addiction to alcohol. Very few individuals that have alcohol addictions are ever able to simply stop on their own accord. People who suffer from an alcohol addiction are going to require true professional help. The way that they can get this help is from the life saving services that an alcohol rehab facility is designed to provide them with.

The primary purpose for an alcohol rehab center is to create a safe place for people with an addiction. The caring environment allows the addicted individual to overcome the physical and the psychological aspects of their alcohol addiction. The process involved in an alcohol rehab includes both physical detoxification and emotional and mental counseling, along with around the clock support of support staff and other recovering addicts who are in the program.

The answer to the question “Is alcohol rehab necessary” is yes it is. If you are suffering from alcoholism addiction, you need to get professional help from an inpatient alcohol rehabilitation program that will walk you through the steps to recovery. You cannot recover from a serious alcohol addiction alone, but the help that you need is available to you if you are willing to reach out for it. The first thing you need to do is admit that you have a problem. Once you admit that your use of alcohol has ventured into the realm of abuse and addiction, you have to be ready to get professional help from a trained support staff through an alcohol rehab facility.

You no longer have to struggle with an alcohol addiction, simply reach out for help and let an alcohol rehab facility and a customized rehab program walk you through the journey toward recovery so that you can live a sober lifestyle.

Many offenders of child sexual abuse target children between the ages of nine and ten. The will go out of their way to be friendly with the children and often times it cold be children of their same sex. If you happen to notice a child in your care with difficulty walking and other strange changes in their personality, you may need to consider sexual abuse of the child. It may be the obvious answer if suddenly the child appears pregnant. Other symptoms are much more subtle such as noticing a change in appetite or sudden instances of bed wetting. The may not want to dress out for gym class or feel like participating in any group activities. They may begin to act more fearful or show feelings of shame or dread.

If it is the parent who is involved, they may be limiting the contact with other children of the same age. They may act secretively. They will act controlling with all the family members. They may show too little concern for the child. Some is wrong with the situation if the child is always vigilant, too compliant or withdrawn.

The effects of abuse in a child are long lasting. A child can not protect himself and looks to the adult in authority to do so. They are not able to stop the abuse by themselves and can not protect themselves from being forced or being the victim of trickery. With out a support from a caring adult, the child will fall into a attitude of inadequacy and could eventually identify with the aggressor. This is how the victims will eventually become the offenders if they do not get the help they needed as a child.

It is a sad thing to note that the children who have been abused may be more inclined to show bullying behaviors. Other children who may be prone to bullying are those who are seldom supervised. In Canada, the statistics for children that are bullied is one child out of every five. They also note that one out of every twelve children are being continuously harassed. The children who appear to be the most at risk are the ones who seem the most submissive.

The child who is shy and sensitive is the one who often gets picked on. It is also the smallest or the shortest. One of the bullies may just be feeling annoyed that day. In other words, he can do what ever he thinks he wants to do whenever he wants to do it. Any one can be a target of a bully. This is a prevalent problem in schools and many authorities let it go on unchecked. When this happens, the bullying action will turn into harassment. Harassment is the term it is called when an adult is doing the bullying, which seems to be happening more and more.

When the children do this in a school setting it is a relationship issue that can be addressed and treated with proper counseling. When harassment happens to an adult,it becomes a human rights issue and this is how some wars have begun. The adults consider harassment a type of discrimination. It is interesting to note that the bullies who have been identified as such by the age of eight, are six times more likely to be the ones to be convicted of a crime when they have reached adulthood.

Domestic abuse is a matter of choice. You have the ability to choose whether you should continue suffering this or not. Many persons presume that they have got inextricably tied to the cycle of violence and cannot walk out. That is definitely not the case.

Another myth is that domestic abuse is too trivial a thing to break up the family. If you have kids, then you should not walkout simply because you are suffering a certain level of domestic abuse. Well, if you submit and suffer from abuse, it is going to set a very bad example amongst your kids.

Your male child will disrespect women if the man is abusing the woman in your family. On the other hand, the female child will learn that she is expected to submit to abuse irrespective of whether it is justified or not.

There are innumerable instances where children from abusive families have resorted to antisocial activities at a very early age. Watching parents a fight and watching one party dominate the other leads to psychological problems.

Opting for divorce and separating from your abusive partner can be a painful process. However, sticking around is only going to cause more damage to the psyche of your children.

Finally, a person who is not financially independent cannot afford to avoid domestic abuse. Well, this is a self fulfilling cycle. You do not have financial support because of which you are abused. You are abused because of which you never end up being financially independent.

You will have to take the leap of faith and overcome the crisis the way you want. Do not set preconditions that may take a long time to be fulfilled. Rather, focus on adopting a practical and goal oriented approach.

There’s no guarantee that someone with an alcohol problem will rape or sexually abuse another person, but any addiction that strong can cause people to act in odd ways. This can be very difficult for the victim, too, who might have thought that the person with the alcohol problem was very nice when he or she wasn’t drinking. There may have even been a level of trust there that’s now been shattered. It can be very difficult for a person to know how to handle something like that, and it’s important for the victim to seek help, as well.

Some victims of sexual abuse and rape can think it’s their fault, even though it isn’t. They have to be taught that it wasn’t their fault that they were assaulted in that way. They need a chance to talk about it with a professional, so they can really see the truth behind the situation. Once they start to understand more about why the other person raped or assaulted or abused them, they can get more peace of mind in realizing that they were not at fault in any way.

There are some concerned about the victims of sexual abuse and have devoted themselves to help them heal. The are concerned about the individual and the fact that if individual are not being treated and helped, especially when they are young, what will happen to these people as they mature and become adults. This is similar to what was happening in the elementary schools years ago when the children were not actually prepared skill wise to move on the the next grade level but were moved ahead anyway as a social move.

If the abuse victims are ignored, they may take a turn for the worse and become an offender themselves as they reach maturity. Children with emotional and physical needs that are left untreated will often be the ones with the most repressed anger. They could be the first ones to be bullied yet turn around and start to bully some one else when they see that this behavior is condoned by the adult in authority. With their boundaries confused and no longer defined it is easy for them to be confused and take the wrong turn.

The child hood bully will eventually lead the way to the adult who is doing the harassing in the workplace. As an adult, he will marry and raise his children and continue the circle of abuse with his own wife and children. The statistics for the wife abuse goes up and then the child abuse begins. There are no good people and bad people. We all pay the price for the quality of the environment we allow for ourselves and our fellow human beings. There is an unspoken sadness in the air if even one precious child goes astray. we are that precious child no matter how old we are this year.

If you are a victim of domestic violence, you may find it beneficial to go to a support group. At a support group, you can share your experience, as well as listen to what other people are going through.

When going to a support group for domestic violence victims, the location of the meetings are often private or may change frequently. That way, if there is a problem with an outsider, the group can still meet in a different location in order to avoid any abuse problems.

A Nashville drug treatment center has similar support groups, where each person goes around telling his or her story to the others. Often, victims need to share their experiences and get advice on what to do. They may need an outlet to talk about their situation, and a support group is the right place for this.

The leader of the group may give suggestions on what the victim can do. Support groups can also be very therapeutic for individuals, because it lets them know that they aren’t the only ones out there with problems. Support groups offer encouragement and hope for the future. If you are having a problem, you can discuss it with your group, and they can let you know whom you can contact to get help.

Support groups can be a safe place for someone who has a stalker. For some groups, you can remain anonymous about your exact situation but still find out plenty of information to help with your problem. While other members talk about their experiences, you don’t have to. You can sit and listen. When you feel comfortable, you can share your story with the group.

If you are a victim of domestic violence, make sure you get the help that you need. While family and friends may help, a support group may have more information.

When a person deliberately uses his position in authority as a way to control a situation, this is considered abuse. Often, the person in question really feels weak and takes these actions to feel in control of situations. The abuse can be physical, emotional or sexual in nature. Many times it is the parent or the spouse of the family. It can happen anywhere in any country and any race. These people might a position of authority in the workplace also. be the ones in a The offender will usually stay with a certain pattern of victim or types of abuse. If this goes on unchecked, it is bound to escalate.

If you have been a victim of any kind of abuse do not let it go uncovered and untreated. You should be able to receive treatment at a local community outreach center. They will usually provide the mental health services that you need even if you can not afford to pay for the treatment. Look for your neighbor hood nonprofit center if you have been a victim or in some way affected by sexual abuse or any type of abuse.

You can also maintain an anonymous presence by doing some searching online. There are many sites available for support offered by abuse survivors and local community sources. They are very helpful and can help to keep you focused as you sort through your physical and emotional pain and do your own work to begin the healing process. This would be a great time for you to explore a creative side of you. If you can not put your repressed feeling out in words, how about a poem, or a song, or a drawing.

Next, continue to improve on your state of mind by stepping it up a notch and eating only good food, you know the fruits and nutritious vegetables. Lay off of the fast foods and put yourself on an exercise program. Maintain a firm schedule so that you will remember to exercise. Drop any activities that would have a negative effect on your day. Monitor your consumption of television shows and interactions with friends. Avoid listening to bad news all day long or friends who want to complain all day long.

Make better use of all that new free time that you now have available. Sign up for a new college class, learn how to play the piano. Discover yourself all over again. Soon, you may feel strong enough to want to talk about your abuse with some one or perhaps find a support group, even if it is just one online where you won’t even have to sign in. It will still make a difference in your healing. Clean out your closets and give away or throw out what you don’t want, you know what I mean.

This is an active time that we live in. Many people come and go to different communities often. For those of you who have children, there are times when it will pay for you to be extra vigilant. If you notice an adult, especially one in authority, who is being overly friendly with your child, pay attention. If you see your child talking to an adult an he seems to be touching excessively, pay attention. If you child has received special privileges often and no one else has, some thing is fishy. If it appears that the adult only wants to talk to certain children and ignores all others, it is a concern.

If you are noticing these behaviors by the same adult, they are most likely indicators that something else may be setting up to happen. It is better to take the initiative now and avoid the heartbreak and turmoil later. You make not have enough proof to confront this person, but you can keep your child and other children out of harm’s way. If you do not have any proof, it would be best not to mention this to any one else yet.

You may need to change the child’s schedule or rearrange different hobbies and activities. Your child and their health is more important. In some cases, it is better not to even mention it to the child right away or they may become too emotional. Once they have moved on to different activities, it would be safe to discuss, if you prefer. Unfortunately there are some offenders who find work in a school setting in order to be close in proximity to the age group that they target.

More often than not, children will be threatened by the molesters and not disclose the happenings, because they fail to see some harm or bodily injury being inflicted by someone whom they love. Kids always think they are actually helping the situation by choosing to be silent.

The offender targets young children in specific age groups; predominantly the 9-11 year old age bracket .This is happening in all the social classes and countries. Boys and girls happen to be equal targets. Most of the time, the abuser maintains a close and cordial relationship with the family from which he picks up a child for molestation. This makes the child think that uttering anything wrong about that person could make their parents angry, as a result of which the issue never comes to light

 Educating children is very essential; parents need to teach their kids to understand their intentions and to identify the difference between a good touch and a bad touch. There are special courses available to train children on these subjects and one may even opt for a cash advance, considering the fact that such a course may warrant quite a bit of money. At the same time, it is the responsibility of parents to create a close and comfortable relationship with their children. When in trouble, a kid runs to a person who can be believed totally.  It is the duty of every parent to become the trusted one of their kids.

The effects of rape are a twisted weave of physical and emotional horror. Many people do not comprehend that physical force is not always present, yet it can still be rape. There are some who intend to rape and then commit murder. The reality is that the victim lives and looks as usual on the exterior. Unfortunately, the majority feel dead on the inside because of the trauma. It is something that remains a detailed memory no matter how hard you try to put it out of your mind. In fact most keep reliving it because the are in such disbelief that it actually happened.

Most people will suggest counseling for many emotional issues. As a victim of rape, it is overwhelming to talk about, especially to a stranger. Once you begin healing physical, you can gather up the strength to work on recovering emotionally. Sometimes the ones who should be your support system are the ones who may not believe you or become impatient with your reactions. If you have little physical wounds, they may down play your experience and even give you a hard time for changing your personality. They may even begin to treat you differently.

You must persevere, however. It could take a few months or many years to heal. It is important to begin your processing as soon as possible. You may be stubborn because you are thinking that there is no way you can erase this horrible image and some days you feel that you can never scrub hard enough to wash all of the slime off of you. How fortunate that we have theInternet to go to at any hour of the day or night. When you are feeling disoriented or having a flash back, you can remain anonymous if you like and find a kind word and a support group immediately.

Violence in the family can often occur as well often following other forms of abuse.
The disclosure of sexual abuse by a family member is often difficult for the victim. Some choose not to speak up because they are concerned that their life and other family members will suffer even more so if this is exposed. Even those who try to understand and express their feelings have great difficulty with confusion and a constant denial. Whether they speak about it or not, they will experience flashbacks and probably nightmares.

Any one who is sexually abused or goes through other devastating trauma can be considered to suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. This is the same thing that our soldiers are treated for. They can feel a shock or uncontrollable rage. They all have their own personal triggers. Unfortunately, many survivors, especially of childhood abuse, resort to unhealthy coping methods. Some of these can be an acting out, stealing, acting in a promiscuous manor and difficulties with any boundary situations.
As an adult, a survivor of abuse can provide themselves with a sense of stability. It becomes difficult to trust any person or situation again. Some drop out of their lives because they do not trust themselves anymore and feel guilty for having put themselves in that situation.

They call it the Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. This is when you feel your mind, body, and soul are all in a state of confusion. It is such a shock to your system that it fills you with terror to even go to that place, to just fast forward through the actions, to even verify if it actually happened. You tell yourself no, but you are aware that such raw emotion can only happen in real life. If there is also physical trauma, you feel a sense of relief, in a way, because at least you know that you have not lost your mind completely.

It is the same response for most, the initial reactions are all denial. You know that you are going to have to come up with certain ways of coping with the abuse. The question is how. Counseling is out of the question since you have already decided that no one needs to know what happened. How can you effectively deal with the trauma if the memories are still waiting to be resolved?

You can only cope with your abuser if you have found a safe place first. Start with your home and the people that you see every day. Avoid any one or any situation that makes you feel uncomfortable or trips any of your triggers. Begin by putting yourself first and be the nurturer of your child within. Get enough rest, start an exercise routine, eat nutritious foods. Do some thing to develop your self each day such as meditating, reading a good book or a bubble bath! You will soon begin to feel more balanced and will feel calm enough to look for the next step in your healing process.

It is interesting to note that the available treatment for sexual assault and rape victims is the same treatment many of our soldiers require as they return home. The treatment is for what is called post traumatic stress disorder. This treatment can be effective with dealing with trauma including emotional, verbal, and psychological abuse. The treatments that work the best are behavioral and cognitive behavioral.

One technique is called stress inoculation training. They work this in three parts. First is the educating, then building the skills and applying them. This is how the person victimized learns and identifies the fears and anxieties and how they are triggered as they go about their day. They practice the exercises specially designed to help decrease these feelings. They will learn how to relax and breathe. They will practice acting out similar situations in a safe environment so that they can feel prepared and not threatened if some thing happens and triggers a panic attack or a flashback.

Often the signs and symptoms are sometimes thought to be completely forgotten until the memory of rape or abuse resurfaces in the form of a flashback. These can feel so real as they involve all of the senses. The victim will panic immediately since she works so hard at blocking this part of the memory out and banish it from consciousness. The victim needs the skills to handle being caught off guard like this any time of the day or night. The treatment will prepare them for these situations by role playing any similar situations while the victim is in a safe environment. When and if something is triggered during the daily routine, she will handle it and respond appropriately since she has practiced and prepared for it.

Too many times, a victim of abuse is treated badly by the very people that they felt for sure would be their support system and expected that they would be the first ones to help out. People are now more inclined to lash out quickly so that they will be considered the dominant one. Doesn’t the strength come in standing for what you believe in? In that case, what do people today believe? It is sad to see so many people who feel that they do not have the strength or conviction to take the first initiative and right some thing that is obviously wrong.

In the case of rape, not only is the victim in disbelief that they were treated that way, many of the people who hear about it may not respond in a supportive way. If they support the victim, then, their life, as they know it will end also. Since the rapist is usually a family member or an acquaintance, they now have to pick sides. Many choose the accused rapist because if he denies it, nothing has to be changed and things can go on as their perceived normal.

Developing the necessary coping skills is a key element since the healing process uncovers many layers of the abuse and high lights many unhealthy choices. For example, substance abuse could most likely be another issue needing to be dealt with in order for the victim to heal. If the parties involved have been self medicating with drugs in order to dull the emotional pain and distorting their reality, the treatment for healing will be lengthy.

It is good for the victim to have resources available and understand that rape is not really about the sex, it is the person’s frustration with power and control issues. A good support group can help the victim get back to normal sooner. They can help by including her in activities and give a little extra strength when she appears to feel a bit unraveled. They will be the ones to encourage the victim to seek out help. Rape is aggressive and degrading. A victim should not be made to feel intimidated after the assault by a group of family members that she can not trust and that do not support her.

This can lead to the commission of sexual crimes, such as rape, sexual battery, or other forms of sexual abuse. And, even if the sex is consensual, the lowering of inhibitions and loss of control over emotions may cause the act to take a violent turn. This can lead to the partner suffering severe physical injury that might otherwise not have occurred.

On the other side of the coin, prescription drug abuse can cause a person to be unable to repel sexual advances, or be unable to defend herself against a violent sexual act. If judgment and physical reactions were not affected by prescription drug abuse, the risk of such an ordeal happening could have been lowered.

For this reason, it is important that anyone who is addicted to prescription drugs seek help at a prescription drug rehab center. This is especially true if one is aware that the tendency toward violence already exists, and knows that the prescription drug abuse can make it worse. It is better to voluntarily allow admission into a facility that can provide the help one needs in the way that one wishes to receive it than to have to do so while under incarceration for a violent crime.

Similarly, a person who knows that prescription drug abuse causes more vulnerability, both physically and emotionally, would be wise to seek help at such a facility before an episode occurs that leads to permanent injury or even death. As long as a person is alive, the possibility that help can be obtained will exist.

After a person is abused, it is easy for them to have the frequent flash backs. If the are prompted to see a doctor, the chances are that they will prescribe a drug to help in easing the anxiety that he feels. While this may help some, many try to avoid this because they say that the drugs are very often too strong and make them feel like zombies, and not themselves. They say that they would rather suffer through the feelings and the uneasiness and just spend the day in bed any way.

Th drugs are meant to fix the symptoms and work right away. Unfortunately, they are not a help in treating the cause so the victim develops another problem by becoming dependent on these medications. Either way, this is not good for the abuse victim and could possibly affect the mood and cause them to develop stronger anxiety disorders.
Some have friends who suggest that they try to meditate or do a natural health therapy. Although many victims will try almost any thing to feel better, mast of them have missed time from work as a result of their situation and money for the fees could be an issue.

This would not be the case if they had medical insurance in effect and natural health treatments were included in the offerings. a natural health treatment could very well help and would not produce any side effects for the patient. In the mean time, many abuse victims, those that have regained some of their fortitude, send there time reading and self healing. They slowly begin to feel stronger as they begin to make better choices including the foods they consume.

Many of us are stubborn and do not deal with change so well. We can adjust quickly if the change is for the good. If something has happened suddenly and is not good news, many have trouble adjusting and some never do. Being abused falls into that category. The victim is inclined to isolate himself and frequently everyone around them avoids socializing. Every one feels awkward so they ignore the person instead. In a way it is the death of the life the way they all knew it to be. Each individual is feeling a sense of loss and will show signs of grief.

Grief can be difficult to process, especially if the people involved are showing signs of denial and avoid confrontation. The emotions and the healing need to be processed in order to lift out of the sadness and depression. This is why a grief counselor is usually called in as soon as it is known. Many times the people that are the closest are the ones feeling the most immobile and incapable of responding. Some one trained can help with the release of emotions and help to led the way for healing.

Many times people will not want to discuss or talk about the trauma and feel such and intense sorrow that the only way they know out of it becomes a life long addiction to prescription drugs or alcohol. This is what the counselor wants to avoid. It is good to be aware of the importance of a good counselor so that if the time ever comes and some one is in need, they will get the help that everyone deserves. A strong support group is the foundation for healing and maintaining a safe and healthy space.

When some one lives through a trauma, some times their health suffers and they may develop unhealthy eating patterns. No one feels much like eating after going through a trauma. When they do feel hungry it is because they have waited until the absolute last minute and wind up eating whatever happens to be around. They just grab what ever they can find easily because they do not want to think about what happened so they stop thinking about any thing altogether most of the time. This could delay the process for their healing. Some times it is the best idea to start from the beginning and develop a healthy plan for life and good eating. The first thing to remind your self to do is to get enough sleep and proper exercise each day. next is to plan healthy menus. Remember to eat well balanced meals and include lots of fruits and vegetables.

Many keep to a natural lifestyle and try to walk whenever possible. They avoid certain foods, especially the ones that are heavily processed and fried. They increase the amount of fish eaten each week, especially the ones rich in the Omega 3 fatty acids. Most will avoid eating red meet too often or they will decide to stop completely. They choose antioxidant rich foods to keep away the free radicals.

Soon, as you follow the new routine, you will begin to feel renewed and have a new energy. You should use this as an opportunity to take some classes or find a better job. Maybe you will discover a new hobby. Try something new and different and stretch out of your comfort zone. Many like to keep a journal or even start a blog as they begin you feel better.

In the time it takes to read an article some is being raped in the United States. Many of the victims feel such shame that they isolate themselves from any reminders of their previous life and activities.They feel angry at the rapist and also at themselves because some how in their faulty reasoning, they feel that they should have been able to stop it from happening. They should have had control of the situation.

One of the aspects about being abused is the feeling of helplessness and not being able to control the out come of the situation. A way to deal with this after the trauma, is to devote your self in projects that you will have the control over. One of the first to be recommended is a mind and physical make over. Put your self into an exercise program and make it a priority to do it each week. As you build your muscle, you can reward your body with healthy and delicious food.

Cross off the foods that are processed and are made with an overload of refined sugar. Pick wholesome, natural foods like fruits and fresh vegetables. Some also use protein shakes to help build their muscles when they work out. As your metabolism improves you should regain interest in some of your old activities and find a few new ones to explore.

The proper exercise and eating a balance of nutritious food will put you whole system back into balance. It won’t take long for you to notice the difference and perhaps you will be more inclined to help some one who is less fortunate that you. The help that you choose to offer is in your control too.

Sometimes a person has to live through an abusive situation in order to make it through each day. There are people who feel that they need to stay in an abusive relationship. Sometimes they will say that they are doing so for the children. Unfortunately, the children see the abuse and a victim. One way for any one to make it through a stressful day is to put aside a little bit of time for a quite meditation or perhaps consider a Reiki healing. Many people are showing great success with alternative treatments such as this one from Japan originally. You can go to a master healer or do some reading on the beginning of the self healing way.

It is meant to ease the stress in your life and help put back the balance. This is the perfect place to begin for those who have been through a significant amount of trauma.
Many refer to this kind as an energy treatment. It is similar to the Acupuncture idea in that the concentration is to take away any blocks from your body and its organs.
Those who practice the Reiki way promote the calm energy and not anger. They stress the importance in being kind to every living thing, including yourself.

There are different levels to the Reiki healing ways. It can also be accomplished indirectly from far away by some one out of town. A Reki student can also send the good healing energy as a mental concentration directed to heal the intended recipient.
As with some religious beliefs, they feel that the human being can gather up enough concentration to send a strong enough vibration and shatter any negative blocks in a themselves or any other person.

If you have recently been abused, may be it was sexually, you may still be feeling a little too hurt to venture out in public yet. This is the time to start reading books or articles that talk about developing the mind set you need for overcoming obstacles. It is a guide for you to do on your own to help you be stronger and overcome what you have gone through. It is a journey for your personal development. Now, you may not be so inclined to want to start some thing like this since you are already over come with grief and sadness. You must begin by trusting yourself enough to at least read a book or two in the privacy of your own home.

The books will sow you so many examples of what people have accomplished by changing the process of their thinking and avoiding the negative thoughts to run rampant in their brains. You know, they way you are feeling now. They will share how important it is to build on the good news instead of concentrating on the bad all the time. It is called having a positive mental attitude. Get one.

They want you to dwell on building on your strengths and stop putting the energy on the old thoughts that are not working for you anymore. If all you have the strength to do right now is to just read the stories of others who have already done this and continue on this path, then, that is okay. After you read enough of them you will understand that it can also work for you, too.

You can control and lower your blood pressure lifestyle changes. You may also need a prescription drug treatment as well.

Eating a healthy diet is one of the major ways to lower blood pressure. A healthy diet can also reduce the risk of developing problematic pressure rates. Reduce the intake of fats and cholesterol and increase the intake of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains.

Today’s sodium intake recommendation is to consume no more than 2.4 grams of sodium a day. Studies show that people with an intake of less than 1,500 mg per day can lower their blood pressure.

Eating a healthy diet and reducing salt should help with the next step of maintaining a good body weight. Overweight people are at a higher risk for blood pressure complications. Losing weight will almost always lower your blood pressure.

Getting on a regular exercise plan will also reduce your blood pressure. If you haven’t been exercising regularly, check with your physician and then start slow. Try to work up to 30 to 60 minutes of daily exercise.

Quitting smoking and reducing your alcohol intake will also help you achieve a better blood pressure. We all know the effects of tobacco — heart disease, cancer, and more — so there’s no reason not to quit. In addition to reducing the harmful effects of alcohol (damage to the liver, brain, and heart), reducing alcohol intake can help reduce calories that will help in maintaining that healthy weight goal.

Following these tips will lower your blood pressure as well as help your overall health.

A residential drug abuse program may be what a person needs in order to deal with the difficult challenge of having a violent personality. A drug abuse program can help individuals safely work through their conflicts and present alternative solutions in order to eliminate the violence they exhibit. If the program is residential, they have the additional opportunity to work through their problems in an environment staffed with professionals who are available at all hours.

When individuals enter a drug rehabilitation program, staff encourage them to work on their behavior and to work closely with the counselors to get to the foundation of the abusive behavior. Although their association with a life of drug abuse may be the culprit, there may also be underlying factors that can trigger the violent behavior, as well.

Violent behavior is certainly not an acceptable characteristic from anyone. But, people can learn to manage and control it. Eventually, people can eliminate the violence if they are willing to be consistent in their treatment. Counselors may begin by helping patients understand the underlying issues causing the violence. Then they may move on to the addiction to drugs. During treatment, professionals will help patients understand how both issues interact. Once people understand the problems, staff can begin to teach them how to overcome both the addiction and the violence.

It is a common misconception that teens are exempt from the problems that plague adult relationships, especially domestic abuse. In reality, it has been shown that a third of teenagers have been involved in a dating relationship that has turned violent. Known as teen dating abuse, it is a carbon copy of the usual conception of domestic abuse in which a form of violence is used by one partner to exert power and control on the other.
The truth of teen dating abuse is generally unknown for a variety of reasons. Teens may be peer pressured to stay quiet or due to inexperience, may not understand what exactly is happening. Also, they may have a strong desire to experience love along with exercising freedom from parents.
Teen conceptions of romantic relationships can contribute to dating abuse. Teen males may think that they have authority in the relationship and deserve physical interaction. Male teenagers are also under extreme peer pressure from other males. Young women on the other hand may perceive the abuse as a form of romance and that it is their responsibility to resolve relationship issues.
There are numerous indicators that point to teen dating abuse beyond conventional signs of injury. Difficulties in school such as poor grades or flagging attendance are noticeable signals. Severe emotional shifts and a desire to only be alone are red flags, along with experimentation with alcohol and drugs.
Incidents of abuse from verbal to sexual tend to happen most often in one of the partner’s homes. Out of teen women ages 14 to 17, in one survey, 40 percent said they are acquainted with someone that has been a victim of abuse. In another, 60 percent of women ages 15 to 24 were currently in a relationship in which violence was used.
There are effective precautions for teens to take to avoid violent situations such as double dating and alerting a friend or family of their whereabouts. In times of discomfort teens should excuse themselves quickly. If something does occur, parents or authority figures should be notified immediately.

A finger pulse oximeter is used to measure your heart rate and your oxygen levels. You can use it for exercising, or you can use it just to monitor your medical condition if you have health concerns. These devices aren’t difficult to find, much like blood pressure cuffs, blood sugar monitors, and thermometers, but you want to get the right ones. Take a close look at the medical monitoring device you’re considering buying, and make sure that it comes with some kind of warranty. You don’t want to be out the money for it if it doesn’t work right for some reason. The warranty should be for at least a year. If there’s a card to fill out for it, make sure you do that.

Also, make sure you’re buying your monitoring devices from a reputable company. That can really help if there’s a problem with any of them. You shouldn’t have to fight for your money back or a replacement as long as you’ve gone with a company that you can trust. If you’re not sure what company you should be using, ask around. Do your research thoroughly, in order to make sure that you’re getting the right thing and that you’re getting it for a price that’s reasonable and appropriate. You don’t want to pay too much.

You can always ask your doctor for a recommendation as to which monitoring devices you should get, too. He or she probably knows which companies will be best, or can at least tell you what to look for and what price range you should be looking in. If you have a medical condition that needs monitoring, or if you’re starting an exercise program, you should be consulting with your doctor. During that visit, ask about different devices so you can get a better idea of which one you should buy.

One of the most debilitating aspects of domestic abuse is the effect on the victim’s feelings of self worth and the conditions of their mental health.  A victim of domestic abuse is under the thumb of a more powerful personality whose sole aim is control. The abuser must control every nuance in the victim’s life. The abusing partner attains control through verbal and emotional abuse; the goal is to reduce the victim, mentally and emotionally, into a worthless pile of rubble.   The method is to break the victim through yelling, threatening, and putting them to shame. Then the abuser begins to control every little movement. The victim is not allowed out of the sight of the abusive partner. Family and friends are shunned, phone calls are limited; every action is monitored. If the victim steps out of line in any way, they are put in isolation, perhaps even physically assaulted, and, of course, blamed for all the abuse that has been heaped upon them.  A victim of mental and emotional abuse will be conditioned to believe that everything is their fault. They will be told over and over again, that if only they were better, brighter, if only they would obey faster, quicker, if only they would- and so it goes.  One of the hardest things for a victim to overcome, who has escaped an abusive prison, are the feelings of worthlessness and self-loathing. The hardest part of healing is to let go of guilt and to begin to understand that the abuse, however horrendous, is not the victim’s fault. Abuse that has been piled upon a victim has been the abuser’s choice; the abusing partner chose to threaten, blame and control the victim.   Abuse is never ever the victim’s fault.

In light of a recent security breach at a family violence shelter in Christian County, Missouri, these types of safe havens are taking a closer look at provisions they have in place to protect clients.
Most family violence shelters provide safety, security and anonymity for people trying escape abusive relationships and break the cycles of violence. The shelters employ the highest levels of security in order to keep their resident clients safe, protecting their identities and unwanted visitors.  Some of the security tactics used include gated facilities with continually-running cameras and locations that remain undisclosed to the public.
One such facility suffered a security breach when an abusive ex-spouse discovered its location using his ex-wife’s vehicle GPS system. He contacted the company which financed the vehicle and was able to track  it through the GPS locating system. He then went to the shelter location and waited for someone to enter a code into the gate’s security system, following right after the person and into the facility.
Once inside, he located his children and kidnapped them while their mother was taking a shower. Police worked quickly to locate him and return the children safely to their mother.
Although the scenario ended without physical harm to the kids or their mother, it was alarming to everyone involved and eye-opening for violence shelters staffs across the globe. The violence shelter has since implemented new security standards regarding vehicle GPS systems. From this point forward, all clients are asked about their vehicles’ GPS system, if any, and required to have them disabled during their stays. Another option is for the clients to make the GPS operating companies aware of their situations so that no information regarding their whereabouts is disclosed to anyone.
The violence shelter security breach was frightening, but it offered an opportunity for all shelters to increase their own security measures. Being aware of potential risks to clients is the first step in ensuring all shelter clients remain safe. Thankfully, this situation turned out well and turned up additional ways for protecting those in need of safe harbors.

Leaving an abusive relationship is an incredible act of bravery and tenacity. One cannot simple walk away from an abusive partner without fear of pain and punishment as well as possible loss of life. In order to escape, a victim must plan carefully and thoroughly, as they will never be able to return.
When a victim succeeds in getting away from the abuse, it is through serious planning and working a tight schedule. Because an abuser is always in control of the victim, it takes some very dedicated detailed planning for a victim to actually make a successful escape.
One of the hardest issues to resolve in making an escape from an abusive partner is in the area of finances. The normal financial outcome for abuse victims is that money is non-existent. The abuser controls everything and this includes finances, both household and personal.
Victims of abuse, who have been under the thumb of their partner for a long time, will usually find that there are no bank accounts in their name; no identity and no cash. Escaping is very difficult without the cash to do so. Many abuse victims become homeless.
Victims that escape with their children, face a double whammy as they try to find shelter and comfort for their children as well as themselves. Another serious problem that adds to the strain of escape is the fact that the victim will have to get a job; most abuse victims have little or no training in work and have been under guard for years. This one item can keep many abuse victims from leaving their awful situation, as lack of finances can be quite formidable as well as frightening.
Although there are agencies that offer assistance, many times there are too many abuse victims for these agencies to handle.

It is a startling and sad fact that the majority of children who are victims of sexual abuse know their attackers. Children under the age of 18 make up almost half of the reported sexual assaults reported. Whether the crimes are committed by a family member, friend of a family member or a total stranger, many of these kids suffer the abuse for many years before it is discovered or otherwise ended, if ever.
Continuing the sad truth is the additional fact that the cycle of sexual abuse does not end when the abuser is caught or the actual attacks are stopped. Many people who experienced sexual assaults during childhood have a lot related issues to cope with in their adult lives.
Sexual abuse during childhood often leaves a lifetime of scars and anguish to overcome. It is important that every victim of sexual abuse seek help and support, especially when the abuse occurred while growing up and developing mentally.Victims of sexual assaults often develop problems throughout life as a result of their experiences, including depression, mental illnesses, anger issues and destruction addictions. Child victims may possibly develop these symptoms and problems without even knowing why.
There are a number of different situations or scenarios that may trigger memories of the traumas later in life. The earlier a sexual assault victim begins to receive help and support, the sooner healing processes can begin.
Unfortunately, many sexual abuse victims who never report the crimes or get help repeat the patterns of violence themselves. The cycle must be broken to end child sexual abuse altogether.
Victims, especially children, should be encouraged to report the abuse and not keep the attacker’s identity secret. Revealing the truth may be a difficult task, but it is an important first step in breaking an evil cycle and beginning the path to recovery and feelings of complete security and wellness.

In the matter of domestic violence and abuse, there is a definite pattern that pervades and is very obvious, when understood. It is important to learn to recognize this cycle so that one can become aware of abuse in their own life, as well as in the lives of loved ones.

First there is The Build Up.

This phase is dominated by the abuser having total power with lots of tension build-up. The victim is usually under complete control, in every way, and is not even allowed to visit family and friends. There is no outside communication tolerated, although the victim usually tries to keep the peace and works desperately to hinder any reason for an outburst.

Next is The Abusive Explosion.

At this point any small infraction becomes the reason for physical assault. Domination becomes imperative as the abuser accuses and punishes the victim accordingly. Everything the victim does is wrong and worthy of violent recourse. Emotional and physical abuse abounds, and there is no escape for the victim.

And last comes The Courtship.

At this stage in the Circle of Abuse, repentance, apologies, tears, and humble pleas for forgiveness dominate the picture. The abuser feels remorse and promises the moon to the victim. Everything will be different; there will be no more violence or emotional abuse; the abuser has had a change of heart; on so forth. The victim is treated like gold.

Until….

The whole relationship goes full circle and enters back into the tension of The Build Up.

Realize that any relationship can have its ups and downs, however, a relationship that has a continuous pattern of Build Up, Abusive Explosion, and Courtship is a relationship that is in a continuous full abuse cycle. This relationship is unhealthy and also dangerous. Recognizing it is the first step to emotional health and safety.

Different cultures and religions have actually banded together to help combat domestic violence through understanding and education. In an unprecedented move, Muslim activists have joined together with their Hindu counterparts, in areas of India, to fight violence and domestic abuse. In Pakistan, where reports of abuse are high, like-minded groups have formed to help victims.

Although most statistics show that women are reported to be abused at a much higher percentage than men, it has also been found that men seldom report being victims of domestic violence. Some studies have suggested that emotional and physical abuse is actually about equal among men and women. In fact a current report states that, for heterosexual relationships in the United States, women are more violent toward their partners, by about 50%.

Part of the discrepancy of such reports is, as stated above, the reluctance of men to report, or admit, being victims of domestic abuse or violence. Because of this, women are usually viewed as the higher percentage of victims in abusive relationships, even though in some studies women are shown to be 2x more violent than men. Of course women also suffer greater injury than their male counterpoints, simply by being physically smaller.

Canada surveys have shown domestic abuse to be about equal in their country, between the sexes, although the woman is more likely to be harmed than the man. It is admitted that these surveys do not have questions that raise the issue of abused male partners.

Some interesting statistics have shown that, in lesbian partnerships, the rate of domestic violence is about equal to those in heterosexual marriages. Other studies report that the rate of domestic violence, in lesbian relationships, is actually much higher than with heterosexual counterparts.

Although many gays and lesbians are “coming out of the closet”, so to speak, and being much more open about their loves and lifestyles, this community is hesitant to talk about domestic violence and abuse in same-sex relationships.

It can be extremely difficult for gays or lesbians to seek help and escape from domestic violence because of the discrimination that they are already subject to on a daily basis. Speaking up about domestic violence in one’s personal relationship is difficult enough. For a gay or lesbian, such a confession can draw negative attention to same-sex relationships, not to mention the whole gay community. Because same-sex couples have experienced prejudice and awkwardness in the normal routine of life, it can be fearsome to face a disdainful social worker or unsympathetic police officers about domestic violence. Even looking for support from the gay community can be trying, as the last thing the community wants is bad press. Still, a person caught in domestic violence should be allowed the same help and sympathy that is available to anyone who needs it.

Unfortunately, domestic and emotional abuse happens in same-sex relationships as much as heterosexual marriages. Domestic abuse can no longer be considered a “family affair”. Abuse appears in all kinds of situations and every type of relationship. In fact, the abuse rate in same-sex partnerships is about the same percentage as in the average male-female relationship.

Because domestic abuse and violence does occur in same-sex relationships, organizations and help-groups are now using terms that do not refer to specific genders when asking questions about domestic abuse in order to help victims and to also get a clearer picture of the very real and serious statistics in the area of domestic violence.

There are several interesting and conflicting viewpoints that confront and try to explain the issues of domestic abuse and attempt to explain abusive behavior.

One point of view argues that an abusive partner inflicts pain and suffering because of being abused as a child. This theory speculates that perhaps, as a child, the abusive partner lived a life of misery and low self-esteem because of an equally abusive parent or older sibling. A probable fear of further abuse or lack of love drives the abuser to inflict pain and more pain upon a partner that he/she professes to love. This abuse nature comes from the utter self-loathing and worthlessness that is the driving force of the abusing partner.

Another viewpoint says that the aggressor knows exactly what he/she is doing and takes great pleasure is inflicting pain. This explanation holds the theory that the abuser is power hungry and looks for those that might be suitable and easy victims to prey upon. This kind of abuser can control his/her actions, when needed and abuses because it is enjoyable to be on the giving end. The typical power abuser, of this kind, only expresses regret when they think have been caught and face punishment.

One more theory says that an abusive partner comes from a powerless state of being. That the abuser feels so powerless and vacant that they try to control all aspects of their life, as well as their partner’s, in order to feel that they have some sort of control over their situation and circumstances. However, the more power they impose on others, the more powerless they feel, which in turn makes them need and demand more power. This becomes a continuous and never-ending story that can never fulfill.

There is nothing wrong with this, except that it can take the focus off of personal responsibility and looking at possible alternative treatments. The line we must walk is, “Well, we have insurance, so I’m going to the doctor.” We may have insurance, but the pain or complaint may also not rise to the level of medical attention. Again, you should not ignore a medical issue, and these often presents itself with pain. Early detection is the key to effective treatment.

But we must take responsibility for our health, and that means doing research about our symptoms. Another reason for doing the work is that we can give a more accurate evaluation of our pain, our symptoms, and the frequency of our ailments. From that information, any medical professional will be able to more accurate identify the problem and appropriate treatment.

We may be losing some of the supply of medical doctors as the new health care insurance program becomes a reality.  This is because the small doctors will not have the ability to process all the required paperwork.  Because of this, we must take responsibility and research our conditions, both for education and long term preparation.

Medicine does not give health. Medicine relieves symptoms and may alleviate a condition. Feeding the body with nutrients and extra supplements may correct a problem, or at least change the body’s balance to give it the opportunity to heal itself. However, you should not forsake medicine and the resources that the medical profession can provide in favor of supplements. Just keep personal responsibility on the table.

The effects on a victim of domestic violence and abuse can be severe and long lasting. Besides the obvious physical danger that one can be in, with an abusive partner, there are other side effects that can be just as debilitating. Some of these issues can be in the mental health area; other side effects can be physical illnesses that develop from abuse and fear.

Of course, domestic violence is a top issue, as it cannot only physically hurt the victim, it can kill them. Chronic health issues from physical abuse can inflict a victim for the rest of their life. But there are also other issues to consider.

Long-term psychological effects of constant abuse are anxiety, depression and suicidal tendencies. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is also a result of long-term abuse. These symptoms include nightmares and over-reactions to things like unexpected noises or surprises.

One long-term effect of domestic violence, that is usually not thought about, is the possibility of finding oneself broke and homeless. Many times, when a victim finally leaves the abusive circumstances, they have left everything behind without a hope of retrieving even personal items. Most domestic abuse victims have been completely controlled, right down to their bank accounts. Usually they have no way to access funds to make their escape to a better life even possible, let alone easy. It has been estimated that one third of the women who find themselves homeless are in that situation because of escaping an abusive partner.

Sometimes, abuse victims have been so controlled that they do not have the skills necessary to support themselves. If they have been lucky enough to escape with their children, the problem of support becomes compounded. This one issue has been found to be the major contributor in keeping an abuse victim from leaving the abuser and seeking help.

Although many restaurants can’t afford to install the high powered exhaust fans needed to properly ventilate a smoking section under the specifications of most states, many of them can afford to install outside patio seating. While smokers cannot smoke indoors, many restaurants have found their way around the ban by starting an outdoor smoker’s section. Finding bars and restaurants with these set up, particularly in warmer states, can make the dining experience enjoyable for smokers again.

One newer trend is the electric cigarette. Electronic cigarettes are said to supply the smoker with the same amount of nicotine without the harmful chemicals contained in cigarettes, and with none of the second hand smoke. This means that electric cigarettes can be “smoked” wherever the user pleases, as they are flameless and would not fall under the jurisdiction of most smoking bans.

Finally, smokers who are trying to quit or who just need enough to get by can use nicotine gum. While many smokers complain that the nicotine in the gum does not satisfy the long-term urges and desires of smokers, chewing a piece while in a bar or restaurant can more than adequately curb cravings for at least an hour or so, or until the chewer feels like going outside for a smoke. While not a perfect solution, it will help, and since most nicotine gum is over-the-counter, anyone can pick up a box.

While whether or not the smoking ban infringes on the rights of smokers remains to be seen. Smokers still have several options while operating from within the ban to make sure they get the enjoyment they need.

Its easy to find a dating service online. There are the match maker sites. These are where you fill out an extensive online profile about your likes and dislikes and what you are looking for in the ideal partner. This information is cross checked with others who filled out similar profiles and then you are introduced to each other. The popularity of these sites are growing by the day but be careful when entering these sites. Most sites worth your time will charge you for their services. Those sites that do not charge may not be the kind of sites you want to trust or go with.

The other nice part about dating services online is that you can do a simple search of singles events in your area and you will see sites dedicated to finding you that special someone. You may find out about a mixer in your area or lunch dating services where you can meet people for a low pressure lunch date and see if there is a spark. There is also the speed dating where you spend short spurts of time talking to different people to see if you are compatible. If you are looking for someone special. The Internet is a great place to start.

For most people these words immediately create the mental image of a suffering spouse with black eyes, and possible broken bones. However, although physical abuse is definitely part of the abuse cycle, domestic abuse can involve much more and usually does. And because domestic abuse usually involves areas other than physical violence, many do not see the suffering of friends or even members of their own family. Ironically, sometimes one can actually be blind to the fact that they, themselves, are involved in an abusive relationship.

“Wait,” you ask. “How can one possibly miss the fact that they are in the center of domestic abuse?”

Good question.

The answer is that abuse can, and usually does, come in many forms besides the physical. In fact, physical abuse in the home is called domestic violence, while mental & emotional abuses are actually the conditions considered “domestic abuse”. Most of the time domestic abuse will be tied into serious control issues and the desire for complete domination by a spouse or significant other. This kind of abuse starts with the need for control; it can readily be seen when a spouse completely takes over his or her mate’s time, money, friends, wardrobe, or even diet.

The next step is usually a constant belittling and demeaning verbal onslaught, which will include massive amounts of guilt and shame. Abusive people use these tactics so that the abused will feel that they deserve their mate’s scorn and harsh treatment. This allows for more abuse to be heaped upon the victims as they become convinced that they have earned their companion’s constant disdain and ridicule. As the abuser adds generous doses of fear and intimidation, the victim succumbs to the feelings of guilt and begins to believe that he/she is not only worthless but the actual cause of the problem. Once begun, this vicious cycle is extremely hard to break out of, but it can be done.

Recognizing domestic abuse is the first step to healing.

When a person on a tight budget experiences an unplanned expense, they often find themselves in quite an unfortunate predicament. Many people would panic and try to call friends or family to borrow money, but this is often a bad decision to make. Instead, an individual can contact an emergency loan service. These companies exist so that people who need money, immediately, can receive the loan they need in a short period of time and without too much paperwork.

Many people claim that the best reason to use emergency cash loans is that they are very fast and easy. The majority of lenders have websites where an individual can fill out some information about the amount of money they need, the reason for the loan, and some other small details. After a loan has been approved, the person will typically receive their money in about an hour.

One of the biggest appeals of an emergency loan is that a person can receive up to $5000 – if they provide enough information. In the case of a car accident, sudden illness, or getting laid off work, a person can simply head to one of these loan offices or fill out forms online, and receive their loan quickly. These loans are also known as cash advance or payday loans. They are so popular due to the easy process, quick return, and low amount of complications.

While emergency loans can be heaven sent for people who need money quickly, it is not the answer for when people need a large sum in a short period of time. Loans over $500 will need more information such as recent bank statements, voided checks, and as assortment of other documents. However, for an individual who simply needs some a small amount of money right away, an emergency or cash advance loan could be exactly what they are looking for.

Some of these early signs are not easy to recognize or to even equate with abuse. It can be something as romantic as a whirlwind courtship with an overly attentive suitor. The perfect man-of-your-dreams, who suddenly steps into your life and quickly sweeps you off your feet with his love and generosity (not to mention his extreme protection), can be the first warning signs for the beginnings of a relationship from hell.

Here are a few things to watch for that can signify an unhealthy and potentially combustible relationship:

Your New Love Must Be With You at All Times

When your new romance must be with you every moment and needs a full report when you are out of their sight, you may have a problem.

Their Feelings are Easily Hurt Over Tiny Infractions.

If you find yourself apologizing continually for every little nuance, you may have a problem.

Instant Jealousy

If there is an immediate jealous reaction over any attention bestowed upon, or given by you, you may have a problem.

“Loving Actions” That Can Ultimately Keep You Isolated

When the Object of Your Affection begins to make long-term plans that can separate you from your job/school/profession or even your family, you may have a problem.

Blaming You for Their Anger

If you find yourself accused as the cause of every disagreement, whether mild or fiery, you may have a problem.

Although, in a new relationship, it is sometimes hard to see the telltale signs of a potential abuser, it is wise to understand the forms and disguises where potential abuse can hide. This is a case where it is definitely better to be safe than sorry.

Are you in constant “duck and cover” mode? Do you have to watch what you say for fear of an angry tirade over subjects that seem benign? Are you constantly criticized or belittled? Has your partner taken your belongings? Or even destroyed them? Has your partner limited your access to the outside world? Are you treated horribly in front of family and friends? Are you the blame for EVERYTHING GONE WRONG? Do you believe you are stupid and worthless and deserve to be demeaned? Yelled at? Ignored? Blamed? And, most important, are you fearful of physical punishment? Has your partner threatened you? Or even your loved ones? Has he/she become violent?

Any of the above constitutes an abusive relationship. This implies that you may be in danger and that no matter how much you may think you love the person or how much you may deserve ridicule, at the least, and physical harm, at the most, you MUST leave and get to a place of safety.

If a partner is continually jealous or angry, threatening and controlling, you are in the midst of an abusive relationship and it is not going to get better. And more than your self-esteem is at risk; it could be your very life. Or even your children. There is no way to “fix” this relationship, especially if you feel you deserve the abuse. The only thing you can do is get to a place of safety and away from the situation, so that you can assess what is really going on and what your role in it is. There, you can clear your mind to determine if you need professional help and what the next steps might be.

Remember the famous words of Einstein:

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

Nothing could be further from the truth.

99.9% of the time, domestic abusers are in complete control of themselves and their actions are a choice. Whether their actions are to make all your decisions for you or control your money, friends, or freedom, or even hurt you physically, the action was a choice and the choice was made to control YOU.

Here’s how it works:

Common ways of manipulating the unsuspecting partner is to create a space of complete dominance; the victim becomes a possession and has no life of their own. This is allows the abuser to control every aspect of their partner’s life. Much of the power comes from continual humiliation. When the victim begins to feel completely worthless, the abuser can then lay the blame for their actions on the victim. If the victim hadn’t made them angry or hadn’t been so stupid, so embarrassing, so disappointing, so you-name-it, the abuse would never have happened.

Many times a potentially abusive person can be incredibly kind or inoffensive in one relationship and a repulsive and even dangerous tyrant in another. This is because an abuser must have the appropriate victim in order to control and dominate; most abusive behavior comes from the desire to control and manipulate the unsuspecting. Someone with a fragile self-image can be made to believe that they are stupid, worthless, defective, an embarrassment. Once that is achieved the abusive partner can weld supreme power over the victim, from insults and public humiliation to physical and sexual abuse to complete isolation.

So remember an abuser is NOT out of control; on the contrary, they have complete control of themselves and also their victims. Without this control, abuse would not be able to continue.

Being aware of abusive behavior is being safer and smarter.

If a good friend’s outward demeanor changes drastically you might want to ask questions. For instances, if they seem full of fear, for no apparent reason, or need to “report in” constantly to their partner/spouse. Perhaps their dialog may change to signify that their partner has become very possessive or they may even fear to say anything that will make the spouse look bad and will agree with everything that is said and done, no matter how outrageous.

If you notice that they are receiving constant and harassing phone calls when they are visiting or suddenly seem very depressed or even suicidal, then there could very well be serious abuse going on in their private life. Or if suddenly they are not “allowed” to see people, can’t go anywhere without their spouse, and have little or no access to a car or to money, then it’s “Houston, we may have a problem” time.

As a friend, it is your duty to ask questions. Don’t be afraid to be straightforward but be sure that your friend knows that your discussion is private and just between the two of you. It is your duty to speak out if you suspect abuse and see these kinds of psychological signs. Realize that if your suspicions are true, then your friend is caught in a dangerous trap and may feel there is no hope and that no one cares. When you speak up, not only will you show that someone cares, but you just might save his/her life.

Abuse can be subtle, especially at first. You might excuse your spouse’s actions because it may seem silly to fret over something like mood swings or the fact that you are rarely able to see your friends or family. But understand that abusers know what they are doing. An abuser doesn’t “just lose” his/her temper. Abuse is calculated and controlled.

In fact, it is all about control. Control of you.

If you have any misgivings or fears about your relationship, then it is wise to ask yourself some pertinent questions.

Are you afraid? Does your partner sometimes scare you? Do you ever fear for your personal safety? Are you regularly accused of being unfaithful? Are you forced into sexual situations that you find revolting? Are your finances controlled by your partner?

Realize that in domestic abuse, degradation is the name of the game. If your partner is consistently demeaning or ridiculing you, this is abuse. If you feel consistently humiliated or fearful, then you are experiencing domestic abuse. If you are isolated and kept from your social peers; if your partner or spouse has gotten in the way of your schooling, your job or even your hobbies, or if you have no control over the car, your money or your time, you are being controlled and abused.

The best thing you can do is to become aware. Are you fearful? Isolated? Controlled? This is called domestic abuse; it will not go away. If this is happening in your life, then it is best to face it sooner rather than later.

We do not often hear of battered men because, in the first place, many do not believe them. Many times when a man calls a help line they are told that the help is only for women. When a woman is a victim of domestic violence, she is always told that it is not her fault. Regrettably, men are often laughed at or made fun of by those that are supposed to help domestic abuse victims. And often, if a man is attacked by his spouse, even with a weapon, and reports it, he can be the one arrested.

There is also the “manly” issue.

Men are supposed to be stronger and able to handle the “little woman”. It can be embarrassing to acknowledge that you are being battered by your wife or girlfriend. Unfortunately, women can also pack a punch, handle a gun or knife, and inflict pain or even death. Although most assaults by females against men are relatively minor, some do result in homicide. And most abused men do not retaliate against the abuser even though they are much stronger and could inflict real damage.

Many times men are also reluctant to leave an abusive relationship because they do not want to lose their children. If they leave, they leave their children with an abusive parent. Even when the woman is the abuser, the children will usually go to her in the case of divorce.

It is necessary that the public becomes educated and made aware of male victims of domestic abuse. This is a big step toward allowing men the proper help and counseling to work toward a better life.

Although many restaurants can’t afford to install the high powered exhaust fans needed to properly ventilate a smoking section under the specifications of most states, many of them can afford to install outside patio seating. While smokers cannot smoke indoors, many restaurants have found their way around the ban by starting an outdoor smoker’s section. Finding bars and restaurants with these set up, particularly in warmer states, can make the dining experience enjoyable for smokers again.

One newer trend is the electric cigarette. Electronic cigarettes are said to supply the smoker with the same amount of nicotine without the harmful chemicals contained in cigarettes, and with none of the second hand smoke. This means that electric cigarettes can be “smoked” wherever the user pleases, as they are flameless and would not fall under the jurisdiction of most smoking bans.

Finally, smokers who are trying to quit or who just need enough to get by can use nicotine gum. While many smokers complain that the nicotine in the gum does not satisfy the long-term urges and desires of smokers, chewing a piece while in a bar or restaurant can more than adequately curb cravings for at least an hour or so, or until the chewer feels like going outside for a smoke. While not a perfect solution, it will help, and since most nicotine gum is over-the-counter, anyone can pick up a box.

While whether or not the smoking ban infringes on the rights of smokers remains to be seen. Smokers still have several options while operating from within the ban to make sure they get the enjoyment they need.

The first thing is to take the initiative and talk to them in private. Talk about your concerns and what you suspect. If your suspicions are correct and they want to talk, then let them; just be a true friend and listen. If they are reluctant to talk but it is obvious that what you have discerned is correct, then let them know that you are there for them and are willing to help as much as possible, if they need it. Let them know that you will always be a listening ear and you will also keep what ever is said in the strictest confidence; that the conversation is private between just the two of you.

Do NOT use force or pressure; if your friend is in trouble and deep in an abusive relationship, they have already had plenty of force. Also do not judge- just listen. Let them talk without interruption and do not give advice. An observing friend with a listening ear can do much to awaken a suffering loved one to their predicament and allow them to see it for what it is. Do not place restrictions or conditions on your help. For instance, do NOT say that you will only support them if they leave the abusive mate. They might not be ready for such a move and you may lose any hope of helping them in the complete understanding of their situation and moving beyond it.

Above all, if you suspect a friend is being abused don’t wait for them to speak up. They may too afraid or humiliated to face up to the abuse with a friend. Many times they have been so controlled and devastated that they believe they deserve abuse.

By taking the initiative, not only can you help them, you might just save their life.

“If you would stop making me mad!” “If you weren’t so utterly stupid!” “If you would just do exactly as I say!” “If you would keep your family away from here!”

Abusers are especially good at shifting the blame when there are authorities involved.

“If my spouse wasn’t so clumsy, she wouldn’t have fallen and given herself a black eye!”

Abusers threaten and scare their victims into doing exactly as they say: if you don’t drop those criminal charges, they threaten to kill you, the family pet, or even themselves; everything is fair game.

You see, the Blame Game is all about control; control of the victim, including every aspect of their lives. And because the victim has usually been so humiliated and manipulated through abusive actions, they learn to blame themselves for the abuse that comes to them day after day.

Most of the time the abuse is a set up by the abuser. The victim may be sent to do something and when the victim does not make it home at exactly the time that the abuser has set (without informing the victim, of course), the victim is then accused of everything from stealing to fornication and is punished accordingly.

In domestic abuse, the easiest way for an abuser to gain control is for the victim to become so completely degraded that they, too, blame themselves for the abuse that is poured down on them day in and day out.

After all, the abuser had no choice.

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Escape from an abusive situation needs some serious planning. If you are involved with an abuser who has control of your bank account and credit cards, not to mention family automobiles and every second of your time, then planning is of the essence.

The first thing to do is to find one person you can trust who will help you from beginning to end. Next, gather important items and keep them in a safe place. This can include, necessary papers such as legal documents and financial records, extra keys, money, medications, and clothing. Anything that is of personal value to you must go into your “safety place” because once you leave, there is little chance of reclaiming anything that is left behind. If you are fearful of hiding these things in your home, then find a friend or family member that will keep them.

Next, get an alternative address, now; some place where future financial statements and important documents etc. can be sent to you. This is very important because if you change addresses after your escape, some institutions will send confirmation of your new address to your old address. You do NOT want your abusive partner finding out your new residence this way.

Find somewhere to escape to, whether it is distant friends or a shelter, and make arrangements. Open your own bank account with whatever money you can secret away. If you are taking children with you, it is probably a good idea to keep them in ignorance until you are all successfully relocated. A child might accidentally let the secret out before you are ready to make the move. In fact, it is a good idea to tell NO ONE except the one friend or family member who is helping you.