How do you know when you are suffering abuse?
As strange as that question may sound, many people do not know when their relationship has become abusive. A rational person may think: “How can one possibly not realize that they are in an abusive relationship?” As crazy as this may seem, one must understand that there are many factors that can shield the abuse from even the victim.
Some of these factors are:
When a relationship is formed, love is usually the motive. Most cases of domestic abuse do not happen overnight; they do not begin at the moment of attraction. If this were so, a potential victim would run before abuse was barely manifested. Many times a victim ignores abusive behavior because of the initial love that brought the victim and abuser together.
Many victims believe they deserve to be punished. If they weren’t so hard to live with; if they weren’t so clumsy; if they were more considerate; if they were just better! The abuse comes because the victim is obviously guilty for something and deserves punishment. A victim of abuse spends a great deal of time excusing the abuser because they are “tired” or “life has been hard” or “I should have been more caring” or- you get the picture.
It is YOU who are crazy.
Sometimes victims believe that they are the crazy one. Their partner is obviously trying to knock some sense into them. It is the duty of the abuser to abuse until you come to your senses.
Sometimes a victim becomes so closed down that they are actually numb to the situation and danger they are in.
Waking up to abuse can be a monumental experience. For this to happen one must first realize is that they ARE being abused. And next realize: it is NOT their fault and they deserve better.