Child Abuse | Rape and Sexual Abuse Support Center

How To Protect Your Young Children From Rape And Sexual Abuse?

Is your son or daughter beginning to move around independently without your constant guidance? There comes an age when the child is no longer interested in being accompanied by the parent all the time. If you try to stick around despite this, you will end up being tagged as a conservative parent and will become a source of embarrassment for your child. However, there is no denying that there are too many risks involved in letting the child to move around without any adult supervision.

A trip to the movie in the nearby mall can become a huge security risk if the child is not cautious. It is a big bad world out there and no amount of self denial is going to change it. In such a scenario, it is very important to arrange for safety of the child from threat of rape and sexual abuse.

Do not expect others to agree with your risk assessment. You cannot ask the child to take care of these things. They need more exposure and maturity to understand the implications of such events on their life. Of course, you can set the ground rules and insist that the child should not talk to strangers. However, you cannot simply trust the child to take care of these issues. You have to be proactive until you are satisfied that the child is smart enough to take care of these things.

Take advantage of technology. Combine it with strict discipline. Give a cell phone to your child to ensure constant contact. Establish a curfew time and insist on strict obedience. It is better to err on side of caution to reduce risk of rape and sexual abuse. Remember, these precautions are applicable to your girl ball as well as your body. Do not simply presume that boys are free of risk because they happen to be male.

Filed Under: Disabilities, Sex, Sexual Abuse Tagged With: Child, Child abuse, Sexual abuse

Breaking the Pattern: MichaelsHouse.com

It’s the terrible physicality, the force of skin to skin: a child is abused, meant to endure what should never exist. His youth is betrayed; his trust is broken. And he becomes a too complex creature, unable to reconcile his age and his worries. The conflict is immediate – and is offered then through acts of aggression, withdrawal, and substance abuse. The reasons are easy. The results, however, are not.

Those who suffer sexual complications during their formative years become highly distraught. Their emotions cannot be controlled and their bodies are often pained. Because of this they tend to rely on drugs and alcohol later in their lives, and this truth is as unfortunate as it is undeniable.

The emergence of addiction within young adults is often a symptom of victimization (specifically concerning incest). A staggering 57 percent of children who use illegal substances began after their first assault; while an estimated 45 percent of all women now seeking treatment for addiction were molested as girls. Those who had been raped – whether by an immediate family member or a stranger – were found to be 10 times more likely to attempt hard drugs.

The pattern is clear. It must now be erased.

Those who have been abused are encouraged not to give in to the temptation of drugs or alcohol. These are not cures (however appealing they may be). Instead treatment – for both the spiritual and physical worries – must be utilized. Organizations like MichaelsHouse.com must be sought out, with their many doctors and psychologists consulted. Anger, hatred, confusion: these are feelings that must be acknowledged. They cannot be buried beneath an addiction. Help must instead be secured to work toward a normal, healthy life.

And, though that may seem to be an unlikely thing, it is instead a possibility. It simply requires your strength and not any form of substances.

Filed Under: Rehab Tagged With: Child abuse, Illegal drug trade, Substance abuse

Help for Child Abuse

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When a child is abused sexually, it is sometimes called molestation. Many times the other person involved is still a child or fairly young also. The majority of the time, they were abused when they were children themselves. It is significant to note that most children who are abused do not speak up. Often they have been threatened by them or they promise they will hurt others that they love. They think that by not speaking out they are actually helping the situation.

Even if they did want to, there are social taboos that the child would be enmeshed in for the rest of his life. Many feel very guilty since it happened at the time when they were becoming naturally curious about the human body. This is the age that the offender targets and they look for children of that age primarily. This occurs in all social classes and any ethnic group. The average targeted age is between nine and ten years old for both girls and boys.

The highest percentage of the children targeted are Caucasian children. Indecent exposure is also considered a form of abuse and so is showing pornography to a child. If you notice that a child of this age has had a dramatic change in behavior and is now exhibiting a withdrawn personality, it may be a good idea to engage them in a conversation and perhaps refer them to a trusted adult figure. If they begin to act out, it would be wise to refer them to a hot line or contact the counseling center of the school. This could be happening in the home or any other close familial seeing group.

Filed Under: Domestic Abuse, Sexual Abuse Tagged With: Abuse, Child, Child abuse, Children Youth and Family, Crime, Sex Offenses, Sexual abuse, Treatment

Some Signs of Child Sexual Abuse

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Many offenders of child sexual abuse target children between the ages of nine and ten. The will go out of their way to be friendly with the children and often times it cold be children of their same sex. If you happen to notice a child in your care with difficulty walking and other strange changes in their personality, you may need to consider sexual abuse of the child. It may be the obvious answer if suddenly the child appears pregnant. Other symptoms are much more subtle such as noticing a change in appetite or sudden instances of bed wetting. The may not want to dress out for gym class or feel like participating in any group activities. They may begin to act more fearful or show feelings of shame or dread.

If it is the parent who is involved, they may be limiting the contact with other children of the same age. They may act secretively. They will act controlling with all the family members. They may show too little concern for the child. Some is wrong with the situation if the child is always vigilant, too compliant or withdrawn.

The effects of abuse in a child are long lasting. A child can not protect himself and looks to the adult in authority to do so. They are not able to stop the abuse by themselves and can not protect themselves from being forced or being the victim of trickery. With out a support from a caring adult, the child will fall into a attitude of inadequacy and could eventually identify with the aggressor. This is how the victims will eventually become the offenders if they do not get the help they needed as a child.

Filed Under: Domestic Abuse, Sexual Abuse Tagged With: Child, Child abuse, Child sexual abuse, Children Youth and Family, Crime, Sex Offenses, Sexual abuse, Support Groups

Devoted to Heal

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There are some concerned about the victims of sexual abuse and have devoted themselves to help them heal. The are concerned about the individual and the fact that if individual are not being treated and helped, especially when they are young, what will happen to these people as they mature and become adults. This is similar to what was happening in the elementary schools years ago when the children were not actually prepared skill wise to move on the the next grade level but were moved ahead anyway as a social move.

If the abuse victims are ignored, they may take a turn for the worse and become an offender themselves as they reach maturity. Children with emotional and physical needs that are left untreated will often be the ones with the most repressed anger. They could be the first ones to be bullied yet turn around and start to bully some one else when they see that this behavior is condoned by the adult in authority. With their boundaries confused and no longer defined it is easy for them to be confused and take the wrong turn.

The child hood bully will eventually lead the way to the adult who is doing the harassing in the workplace. As an adult, he will marry and raise his children and continue the circle of abuse with his own wife and children. The statistics for the wife abuse goes up and then the child abuse begins. There are no good people and bad people. We all pay the price for the quality of the environment we allow for ourselves and our fellow human beings. There is an unspoken sadness in the air if even one precious child goes astray. we are that precious child no matter how old we are this year.

Filed Under: Domestic Abuse, Sexual Abuse Tagged With: Adult, Bullying, Child, Child abuse, Domestic violence, Human, Sexual abuse, Violence and Abuse

Concerned About the Long Term

Let’s say that you have been the victim of abuse. You have never mentioned it to any one but now you are concerned about the long term affects that it may have on your life and the people around you. The best advise for you is to begin right away to heal yourself. Strive to stretch out of your comfort zone a little bit more each day by improving the quality of your life now. Begin by reading stories about others who have overcome the type of abuse that you are now aware was a part of your life, also. Make a note of the things that everyone had in common and the things that worked for each person.

Next, continue to improve on your state of mind by stepping it up a notch and eating only good food, you know the fruits and nutritious vegetables. Lay off of the fast foods and put yourself on an exercise program. Maintain a firm schedule so that you will remember to exercise. Drop any activities that would have a negative effect on your day. Monitor your consumption of television shows and interactions with friends. Avoid listening to bad news all day long or friends who want to complain all day long.

Make better use of all that new free time that you now have available. Sign up for a new college class, learn how to play the piano. Discover yourself all over again. Soon, you may feel strong enough to want to talk about your abuse with some one or perhaps find a support group, even if it is just one online where you won’t even have to sign in. It will still make a difference in your healing. Clean out your closets and give away or throw out what you don’t want, you know what I mean.

Filed Under: Domestic Abuse, Sexual Abuse Tagged With: Child abuse, Family Violence, Fast food, Health, Mental health, Personal Stories, Support Groups, Violence and Abuse

The Common Pattern of Domestic Abuse

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Just like the circle of life, there is a definite circle in the pattern of abuse that, if left alone, will continue to turn, and keep on turning, until the abuse victim has escaped or is dead. As this pattern is a circle, it is not always easy to identify a beginning, so let’s just start at what we might consider the normal part of this cycle.

The abuser has usually just repented of horrible verbal, emotional, and even physical abuse. Everything becomes perfect and it is so wonderful to the victim to see how much their partner truly loves them. At this phase nothing is too good for the injured party and the abuser does all in his/her power to make life beautiful.

In the next stage, the abuser becomes dissatisfied and every movement the victim makes is cause for the abuser to plan revenge.

The circle continues as the abuser then sets up the victim to commit a “wrong”. This could be anything from taking too long at the store to spending too much time with family. The abuser will justify any action or non-action to accuse the victim of anything ranging from insolence to immorality.

The circle then moves into insulting, belligerent, and ranting behavior that many times turns into aggression and violence. After the victim has been thoroughly chastised, mentally, emotionally, and physically, the next part of the pattern circles around to focus on the abuser’s guilt.

At this point the abusing partner seems filled with horrible guilt and remorse; they cannot do enough to show how sorry they feel. (Of course, he/she may also be worrying about what might happen if the proper authorities were to find out the extent of their abusive actions.)

And then we circle around once more to the point of forgiveness and normalcy- and off we go again.

Filed Under: Domestic Abuse, General, Mental Health Tagged With: Child abuse, Physical abuse, Psychological abuse, Violence and Abuse

Financial Ramifications for Victims of Domestic Abuse

When a victim succeeds in getting away from the abuse, it is through serious planning and working a tight schedule. Because an abuser is always in control of the victim, it takes some very dedicated detailed planning for a victim to actually make a successful escape.

One of the hardest issues to resolve in making an escape from an abusive partner is in the area of finances. The normal financial outcome for abuse victims is that money is non-existent. The abuser controls everything and this includes finances, both household and personal.

Victims of abuse, who have been under the thumb of their partner for a long time, will usually find that there are no bank accounts in their name; no identity and no cash. Escaping is very difficult without the cash to do so. Many abuse victims become homeless.

Victims that escape with their children, face a double whammy as they try to find shelter and comfort for their children as well as themselves. Another serious problem that adds to the strain of escape is the fact that the victim will have to get a job; most abuse victims have little or no training in work and have been under guard for years. This one item can keep many abuse victims from leaving their awful situation, as lack of finances can be quite formidable as well as frightening.

Although there are agencies that offer assistance, many times there are too many abuse victims for these agencies to handle.

Leaving an abusive relationship is an incredible act of bravery and tenacity. One cannot simple walk away from an abusive partner without fear of pain and punishment as well as possible loss of life. In order to escape, a victim must plan carefully and thoroughly, as they will never be able to return.
When a victim succeeds in getting away from the abuse, it is through serious planning and working a tight schedule. Because an abuser is always in control of the victim, it takes some very dedicated detailed planning for a victim to actually make a successful escape.
One of the hardest issues to resolve in making an escape from an abusive partner is in the area of finances. The normal financial outcome for abuse victims is that money is non-existent. The abuser controls everything and this includes finances, both household and personal.
Victims of abuse, who have been under the thumb of their partner for a long time, will usually find that there are no bank accounts in their name; no identity and no cash. Escaping is very difficult without the cash to do so. Many abuse victims become homeless.
Victims that escape with their children, face a double whammy as they try to find shelter and comfort for their children as well as themselves. Another serious problem that adds to the strain of escape is the fact that the victim will have to get a job; most abuse victims have little or no training in work and have been under guard for years. This one item can keep many abuse victims from leaving their awful situation, as lack of finances can be quite formidable as well as frightening.
Although there are agencies that offer assistance, many times there are too many abuse victims for these agencies to handle.

Filed Under: Domestic Abuse, General Tagged With: Child abuse, Homelessness, Psychological abuse, Violence and Abuse

Why Does Someone Engage in Abuse?

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There are several interesting and conflicting viewpoints that confront and try to explain the issues of domestic abuse and attempt to explain abusive behavior.

One point of view argues that an abusive partner inflicts pain and suffering because of being abused as a child. This theory speculates that perhaps, as a child, the abusive partner lived a life of misery and low self-esteem because of an equally abusive parent or older sibling. A probable fear of further abuse or lack of love drives the abuser to inflict pain and more pain upon a partner that he/she professes to love. This abuse nature comes from the utter self-loathing and worthlessness that is the driving force of the abusing partner.

Another viewpoint says that the aggressor knows exactly what he/she is doing and takes great pleasure is inflicting pain. This explanation holds the theory that the abuser is power hungry and looks for those that might be suitable and easy victims to prey upon. This kind of abuser can control his/her actions, when needed and abuses because it is enjoyable to be on the giving end. The typical power abuser, of this kind, only expresses regret when they think have been caught and face punishment.

One more theory says that an abusive partner comes from a powerless state of being. That the abuser feels so powerless and vacant that they try to control all aspects of their life, as well as their partner’s, in order to feel that they have some sort of control over their situation and circumstances. However, the more power they impose on others, the more powerless they feel, which in turn makes them need and demand more power. This becomes a continuous and never-ending story that can never fulfill.

Filed Under: Domestic Abuse Tagged With: Child abuse, Domestic violence, Violence and Abuse

The Long Term Effects of Domestic Abuse

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The effects on a victim of domestic violence and abuse can be severe and long lasting. Besides the obvious physical danger that one can be in, with an abusive partner, there are other side effects that can be just as debilitating. Some of these issues can be in the mental health area; other side effects can be physical illnesses that develop from abuse and fear.

Of course, domestic violence is a top issue, as it cannot only physically hurt the victim, it can kill them. Chronic health issues from physical abuse can inflict a victim for the rest of their life. But there are also other issues to consider.

Long-term psychological effects of constant abuse are anxiety, depression and suicidal tendencies. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is also a result of long-term abuse. These symptoms include nightmares and over-reactions to things like unexpected noises or surprises.

One long-term effect of domestic violence, that is usually not thought about, is the possibility of finding oneself broke and homeless. Many times, when a victim finally leaves the abusive circumstances, they have left everything behind without a hope of retrieving even personal items. Most domestic abuse victims have been completely controlled, right down to their bank accounts. Usually they have no way to access funds to make their escape to a better life even possible, let alone easy. It has been estimated that one third of the women who find themselves homeless are in that situation because of escaping an abusive partner.

Sometimes, abuse victims have been so controlled that they do not have the skills necessary to support themselves. If they have been lucky enough to escape with their children, the problem of support becomes compounded. This one issue has been found to be the major contributor in keeping an abuse victim from leaving the abuser and seeking help.

Filed Under: Domestic Abuse Tagged With: Child abuse, Domestic violence, Physical abuse