Defending Yourself Against A Domestic Abuser

June 30, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Domestic abuse is happening more and more each day and charges against domestic abuse are thankfully becoming a common thing. Majority of domestic abuse cases will involve police arresting the abuser after responding to a domestic dispute call. There are multiple types of domestic abuse that includes emotional, physical and psychological abuse.

It’s crucial to create a tight case when defending yourself against your abuser. Having a great lawyer is going to help you fight back.

Abuse cases that have physical evidence, photos or videos of her bruises, are harder to win, but in most cases a jury won’t side with the victim on emotional abuse. If you have photos of your bruises or a witness, it’s important to bring that information to your lawyer.

Your abuser might try and blame drugs and alcohol for his actions. If he’s abused either during your relationship it’s important to bring this up. While this isn’t an excuse for his actions, he could face jail time for the drug use.

Another common thing an abuser will try to tell the court is that he’ll change and seek counseling. Abusers won’t always change, it’s a vicious cycle and the only way to stop them is by taking action. This probably wasn’t a one-time thing and you won’t be his last victim. Going to go and filing charges against him will help warn other potential victims that he’s an abuser and to stay far away from him.

You were abused and no victim should have be smack, punched or verbally abused, no matter what. It’s important to do whatever it is that you can to make sure your abuser pays for the crime he did.You might also want to install some adt home security systems to ward off another potential abusive situation in the future.

Filed Under: Domestic Abuse, Mental Health Tagged With: , ,

Coping With Abuse

March 20, 2011 by Leave a Comment
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Abuse is when someone is controlling or exerting power onto another person. This could be anything from physical and emotion violence to manipulation. The victim of abuse almost always knows her abuser. If you’re currently in a relationship that’s abusive, it’s important that you put an end to things so you’re not longer the victim.

If you’re scared to talk to a friend or family member, speak with a qualified professional at the National Domestic Abuse Hotline. People there have experience with abuse and everything is confidential. Getting advice on coping with abuse is the first step in healing from this ordeal.

Speaking with a psychologist will help you cope with abuse. Sometimes speaking with a professional who doesn’t know you is easier than speaking with your friend or parent. It’s important that you do talk to someone because dealing with abuse is going to take a toll on you emotionally and you shouldn’t have to go through it alone.

Abuse is never OK, no matter what. If your husband or boyfriend is being abusive, get out of the relationship. Contact your family and friends and ask for their support and help getting out of the situation.

When you’re getting out of your home it’s important to be as quick as possibly and make sure someone is with you. You’re in the middle of leaving an abuser and things could get bad if he returns home. Do this in the middle of the day and have someone with you. Have a plan with other people about what should be done if they don’t hear from you.

Joining a support group for people who were abused can really help in the process of moving on. You can speak openly about what you dealt with and how you’re feeling. These groups are full of people who are in the same situation as you and want to help.

Filed Under: General, Support group Tagged With: , ,

Helping A Victim Who Was Abused

March 16, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Domestic abuse is a violent crime going on all throughout the United States. About 4.8 million women will be raped or assaulted by someone they know. Almost 30 percent of women reported that their husband or boyfriend abused them. If you think your friend or someone in your family is being abused it’s important to step in and do what you can to help.

When you know for sure your friend is being abused it’s crucial that you confront her right away. But be prepared because she might be in denial and start feeling a little defensive. These are normal reactions, but she has to know what’s happening is a crime. Just remind her you’re concerned for her safety and you want to help her through this horrible time.

When a victim is talking to you about her abuse, it’s important for you to listen and offer support without being judgmental. Being abused by your husband is toxic to you both physically and emotionally. It’s important that your friend understands that this is not her fault. This might be difficult, but don’t talk horribly about the abuser, this is going to make her angry and decide not to talk to you about the situation.

Sit with your friend about creating an idea for her to get away from her abusive husband. A safety plan is something that will be used when you’re trying to get out of a horrible situation as quickly and safely as possible. Think of all the possible exits and time that she can get her things and move out of the home. A few law websites will say she should have a suitcase that has some clothes, money, social security cards, personal items, her banking items and any other important information she may need. Write down a list of people she can call if there’s an emergency.

Domestic abuse is a horrible situation for anyone to be in. If you know someone being abused it’s crucial that you step in and to help your friend or family member out of a bad situation.

Filed Under: Rehab, Support group Tagged With: , ,

Escaping Your Abuser

March 7, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Domestic violence is when a person in a relationship is either emotional of physically harmed by their partner. The abuser will use violence in order to become the dominant one in the relationship. It’s important that anyone currently in an abusive relationship to leave that person as quickly as possible, but to stay safe.

If the violence is getting out of control, leave your place immediately. Head to your local crisis center or police station to seek help. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence has a website that will list all their locations in your area.

As soon as you can, remember to change both your home number and cell phone. Only give the new number to those you trust. If he tries to contact you in any way, it’s important to document it as evidence for police.

With an abuse claims it’s important to have physical evidence. Without it, he could walk free. If you’ve got bruises, take photos. This is evidence that will help you put him behind bars if you make the brave decision to press charges.

If you think he could find you, figure out a new escape route. It’s best to not go into a room like your room, which has potential weapons.

If possible, get yourself a new routine. Go a different way to work and be sure to leave your home at a different time. It’s better to leave earlier than you normally do. These small changes could help keep your abuser away.

Speak with someone who has experience with domestic abuse. The only way to heal and move forward is to talk about it. They could also help you if you’re interested in pressing charges, but is too afraid too. File a permanent restraining order. This means your abuser can’t legally go within a certain amount of distance from you.

If you need to get items back from your abuser, do it in a public space and in broad daylight. If you can have a friend or someone else go with you and a precaution.

Filed Under: Domestic Abuse Tagged With: , ,

Your Life After Domestic Abuse

February 23, 2011 by Leave a Comment

While it might not seem like it now, you can rebuild your life after dealing with domestic violence. Domestic violence is frightening and horrific to have to experience. Many domestic abuse survivors have a difficult time balancing out their concern for their safety with having the freedom of not being in an abusive relationship anymore.

You can get your life back. Don’t let your abuse take complete control of your life. Getting your life in order after domestic abuse will consist of getting your confidence back, getting back in touch with those you lost and reliving your dreams and career plans. You have the power to control your life and it’s your time to take that power back.

Grieving the loss of a relationship is pretty normal, even if the relationship was an abusive one. The relationship was probably good and first and letting go of the good memories is tough.

It’s time to remember who you once were and start doing the things you used to enjoy doing. Bring back your old dreams and start new ones. You’re getting a second change so make it count.

During your relationship, you probably isolated yourself from family and friends. Reach out to them and rebuilding your relationship with these people. They understand you were in a tough time and they will be there for you.

If you’re still having safety concerns, let your friends and family know. Create your own plan to stay safe and let your close family and friends know about this plan.

You’re a strong person for getting out of an abusive relationship. Now is the time to take control of your life and get it back on track.

Filed Under: Dating, Domestic Abuse Tagged With: , ,

Preventing Domestic Abuse

February 16, 2011 by Leave a Comment

You read about domestic abuse all the time in the news. It’s a horrific crime that uses psychological, physical and emotional abuse so that he or she can take complete control of their victim’s life. Both men and women are victims of domestic abuse and it’s the least reported crime in the United States.

It’s been reported that kids who witness domestic abuse in the home will suffer from the horrible memories for the rest of their lives. This is a serious issue that could lead to an injury, or worse, someone’s death. This is why it’s extremely important to report any cases of domestic abuse to authorities.

Preventing domestic abuse can really help save lives.

The first step is learning about domestic abuse. If people are more aware if they would have a better shot at noticing the signs of abuse. People also need to understand that violence against another person is never going to be acceptable… ever.

Spread awareness of domestic abuse. This is a serious crime that more people need to know about. Take part in fundraisers that support any local organizations that help victims of domestic abuse. The more money they raise, the more awareness they could spread.

If you notice anyone who could be a victim of domestic abuse, talk to that person. If that the person is being abused, contact the police immediately. People being abused are often times to terrified to report it, give that person the support and help they need to report their abuser.

Domestic abuse is a crime that’s happening far too often. It’s time to stand a stand and do what has to be done in order to prevent or help stop domestic abuse.

Filed Under: Dating, Domestic Abuse Tagged With: , ,

Reporting Domestic Abuse

February 10, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Being a victim of domestic abuse isn’t something people should have to experience, but unfortunately it’s happening more and more. It’s important to know that if you or someone who you know was a victim of domestic abuse, it’s crucial that the abuser is reported.

Reporting it to the police and courts is the first step, than you’ll want to get a restraining order against your abuser. Don’t let him win. Being quiet could potentially make things work. Reporting domestic abuse is crucial if you want the abuser to pay for what he done.

Take all your information and put them together. If you weren’t abused and you’re the one reporting for a friend, you’re going to need the address and know the time of the abuse, police are going to ask for it. Write down all the details that were given to you. This is a hard thing to do since you’re recalling information about a horrific event.

Call 911 as soon as the domestic abuse happens and tell the police exactly what happened. This is going to be hard, but it’s important in stopping the domestic abuse. If you have a safe area at the location, go there and wait for police to show up. Don’t answer the door until they arrive.

If you can’t talk to family and friends, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline to report your abuse. They’re there to help.

Once you’ve reported the abuse, be prepared to go to court. You’ll be there as a witness, which will make your case stronger and nail the abuser.

Seeking counseling could help you heal from being abused. Find a counselor who has experience dealing with domestic abuse victims.

Filed Under: Dating, Domestic Abuse Tagged With: , ,

Recognizing The Signs of Abuse

February 3, 2011 by Leave a Comment

It’s unfortunate to report this, but the least reported crime is domestic violence because of the fear of the abuser coming back after them. The abuser has a strong mental control over their victim that the fear stops them from reporting it. If someone doesn’t report it, the victim has to rely on someone else recognizing the signs of abuse in hopes of being saved.

When it comes to recognizing the signs of abuse, it’s important, and I mean important, to make sure what you’re witnessing is abuse. Falsely accusing someone is a serious thing that could create problems in your friendship. Reporting abuse because of a “felling” your have with zero evidence can create a lot of problems for the parties involved.

Go online to find the number to a domestic abuse hotline. Many states offer toll-free numbers that you can call anonymously.

Bruises will be the most common sign of abuse. If you see any bruises around the eyes or throat, that’s a huge sign of domestic abuse. Other areas would include the arms, abs and thighs. If the bruises are in different shades, this means there’s been more than one occasion of abuse. Contact the police immediately if you see this because it’s a huge sign of abuse.

Once you’ve noticed the bruises, ask the person how the bruises got there. Don’t directly ask if they’re being abused because they could be in denial or get really nervous. The most used excuse abuse victims will use is that it was an “accident” or they “fell.”

Notice any changes in their personality? If they go from calm to defensive, that’s a big sign they’re being abused. Victims will also stop hanging around with friends and completely isolate themselves to only hanging out with their boyfriend.

If you’re sure your friend is being abused and you have proof, report it to police right away.

Filed Under: Disabilities, Domestic Abuse Tagged With: , ,

Stop The Domestic Abuse Cycle

February 1, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Abuse is a horrible situation that many people should have to suffer through, but it happens. If you were abused when you were a child, the abuse cycle will more than likely keep going even into your adulthood. You’re able to learn your behaviors and how to react during certain situations that could begin developing when you enter a new relationship. Your first thought is, don’t trust that person. You’ve quickly developed the idea that you’ve got to keep yourself safe and void getting hurt. You probably find yourself being angry towards other people who you felt were supposed to love your and protect you from harm.

People need to do what they can to stop the domestic abuse cycle. This is where people should do research on abuse. Learning why people are abused and how the cycle continues will help deal with the pain. While it’s a long process, it’s something that many people should learn about.

Sometimes it helps talking to someone who has been through what you have.

When you’re a kid, you’re too young to understand what’s going on and how you can defend yourself. You were just a child then. As an adult it’s important to learn how to cope with the situation. Talking about the past is going to be hard and it’s something that you can’t always prepare for. How does one really prepare for talking about something as horrible as abuse? The abuse is something that you should and really need to talk about. Burring it deep and just ignoring it will only make things worse down the road. Admitting to how it’s affected your life and wanting to move on is important in the healing process.

Don’t just say you want things to change, make the change happen. This is easier said than done, but taking action is the only real way to move on. Don’t let your anger get the best of you and never ever give up. You’re not perfect and being abused did some damage, but it doesn’t have to affect your life anymore.

Filed Under: Dating, Domestic Abuse Tagged With: , ,

Escaping the Situation

January 22, 2011 by Leave a Comment

If you have ever been involved in a situation in which some sort of domestic abuse was taking place, you have no doubt noticed that the pattern tends to repeat itself over time.  But of course, this is not just a pattern which repeats while the individual who is being abused is still living in the original abusive home.  Far too often, they will either consciously or subconsciously replicate some portion of the abusive behavior later on, after they have moved away from the source of it all.  The tendency to bring about repetition of abuse is a very common occurrence, regardless of how painful the original abuse might have been.  In order to truly escape, the entire pattern has got to be broken.

A lot of people think that once an individual has gotten away from the first person who has ever abused them, that the problem is going to go away.  Unfortunately, problems of this nature simply do not disappear that easily.  And often, the individual who was originally abused will subconsciously seek out people who have the same abusive tendencies as the original person who hurt them, because that is what feels comfortable and normal.  A person can get used to pretty much anything, after all.  And in a case like that, a person “escapes” from the source of it all, only to continue the trend somewhere else.

While it can be a sad (and even an angry) revelation to the person that they are basically walking back into the same situation by seeking out similar people to their original abuser, this is the sort of situation where intervention may actually be necessary.  If the tendencies are there, then it is simply a matter of setting off the new abuser for the same behavioral pattern to assert itself in this new place.  In order for a real change to take place, the abused person has got to look for something completely different.

Filed Under: Sexual Abuse Tagged With:
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