THE DIRTY LEGAL SECRET

June 16, 2011 by Leave a Comment

One of the dirty little secrets of the United States legal system is the prevalence of sexual abuse and assault against Native American women. They are sexually assaulted two and one half times as often as any other group in America and they are also the most likely to be stalked.

Native women are more likely to be assaulted by men of another race; to sustain injuries during the assault; and to be gang raped.

Native American WomenImage courtesy of http://oursisterskeeper.org

Because of long-standing cultural mistrust of law enforcement and the judicial systems, these victims are often hesitant to report the crime.

Even when victims report a rape to tribal police, there is often no response. Most reservations have small federal funded BIA (Bureau of Indian Affairs) Police forces and sexual assaults are not even investigated. Many of the Indian Health Service Centers –the first medical stop for most Native Americans- do not stock rape kits, so DNA evidence, vital for legal prosecution, is not collected.

The U.S. Department of Justice has recently acknowledged this problem with pilot projects for tribes to change the social and judicial climate around sexual assault. Grants now fund classes for law enforcement officers, encouraging tribes to change their legal codes to increase punishment for rapes, and to treat victims of domestic violence with sensitivity.

Tribal women themselves have started to band together to assist victims of assault and to demand action from law enforcement and the legal system. These women honor the survivors of sexual assault, sponsor educational programs, and lobby their tribes for changes in their legal codes to take sexual crimes seriously.

Filed Under: Sex, Sexual Abuse Tagged With: , ,

Men can be Raped, Too

January 20, 2011 by Leave a Comment

A lot of people have taken up the ridiculous belief that since most men “want sex more” than women do (at least in theory), that a man can never be raped.  Aside from the fact that another man might be able to rape a man, the notion that a woman can never force or manipulate a man into doing something that is degrading and disgusting to him is a painful farce.  The saddest part of all is that fact that, with very rare exceptions, most people will either outright ignore or ridicule the entire notion of a man who claims that another person has sexually assaulted him.  While it might sound funny to some people, there is nothing funny about anybody getting raped.

Far too many women believe that they have got the monopoly on being sexually assaulted and abused.  It is true that men do tend to be physically stronger, and that many kinds of sex acts do require that the man’s penis be erect.  But whether or not an erection occurs, the fact is that sexuality consists of far more than simply inserting a penis into a vagina.  In a situation where a woman uses force or coercision to get a man to do anything that he is genuinely unwilling to do (with a particular emphasis on providing oral sex or other alternative activities), rape has essentially occurred.

Sadly, far too many people just assume that men always “want it,” and that it could never be rape as a consequence of that.  But what too often happens when a person (whether it be a man or a woman) rapes a man is that the guy is just too ashamed to come forward in the first place.  After all, why admit to being “too weak” to fight off someone, if no one is going to believe what you say in the first place?  No one really knows how often a man is sexually violated.

Filed Under: Mental Health, Sexual Abuse Tagged With: , ,

Not Being Alone

January 15, 2011 by Leave a Comment

A lot of consultants and writers would say that one of the best ways that you can avoid being raped is to never be alone.  And while this does often mean that you would be well advised to travel with a buddy as often as you possibly can, it does go deeper than that.  A lot of times, a rapist is going to target a woman who is by herself in an area that is off the beaten path- as in, just outside of where help can easily be attained, but still within the realm of there actually being some people around.  Not being alone can also be interpreted to mean that you are not going about your life without having other people around, so that you always have a good level of support from people who can help you out.

Naturally, you always want to make sure that someone else knows where you are going to be.  Otherwise, you may end up being kidnapped- and many kidnappings lead to being murdered.  But even when you are just going about your normal daily business, it is much safer to go accompanied by someone else.  Whether it is a male friend or a female one, there is definitely strength in numbers.  Very few rapists are cocky enough to attack a small group, because they are less likely to be successful and more likely to be caught.

But not being physically by yourself is just one component of the whole deal.  Even when you are physically by yourself, not being alone can extend into having a strong social network behind and around you.  If you should happen to be attacked during that rare but inevitable moment when you are physically by yourself, having a solid social network is a much better way to heal in the aftermath of it all.  Your physical safety is great, but your emotional well being is a very important thing, as well.

Filed Under: Sexual Abuse Tagged With: ,

Defending Yourself Against Rape

January 13, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Rape is a heinous crime, and there is no such thing as a victim of it “bringing it on themselves.”  Generally, the types of people who say things of that nature are the types who believe the doing such simple acts as dressing a certain way are all that it takes to essentially surrender your right to give yourself sexually to whom you choose, and to refuse whomever you choose.  Individuals who think that way will probably never see reason, beyond a misguided obsession with making sure that everyone takes excessive levels of responsibility for themselves.  However, in spite of all of this idiocy, you can take some steps to protect yourself against being raped.  While nothing is completely fool proof, the following steps will help you a lot.

The first step is to mentally train yourself to snap into a fight or flight reaction at a moment’s notice.  Generally, rape has a preamble to it.  Someone gets you alone, and you think that he might be fun, but then he stops being gentle about getting what he wants.  A victim tries to scream for help.  You might find that clawing at his eyes, grabbing and sharply yanking his groin and punching his neck will more effectively halt his aggressive actions.  There can be no moment of “morality” in a situation like this.  You may have a split second after identifying a threat before it becomes too late to strike back, and you have got to seize that moment.

Another thing that you can do in order to protect yourself is to never go places alone unless you are certain in your ability to defend yourself.  One of the big differences between how a man gets attacked versus how a woman gets attacked are that men are typically punched, and women are typically grabbed.  Any wannabe rapist with half a brain knows that it is far harder to grab two women than to grab one.

Filed Under: Sexual Abuse Tagged With: ,

Defending Yourself Actively

January 11, 2011 by Leave a Comment

If you have ever been raped, then you know how powerless it tends to make you feel.  One moment you are a strong woman who knows what she wants in life and goes out to get it- the equal of any man in any situation.  But then, out of the blue, you are reduced to a quivering child who has had something precious stolen away from them.  In a very short time, you can have all of the confidence knocked right out of you.  And as much as you might work on moving forward in your career and personal life, it is extremely hard to restore that confidence.  However, you can do so in one important way- by learning how to defend yourself, so that this kind of thing is never going to happen again.

First off, you are going to need to be very aware of your surroundings, and what everyone around you is doing.  Many people think that self defense is about fancy moves.  That is not the case in the slightest.  On the one hand, it might seem a little bit like paranoia to be constantly on alert.  But this is not paranoia- it is just awareness.  When you are alert, you can tell when someone “might” rape you when they are still across the street, and move accordingly.  Nobody wants to try to make a victim out of a person who is a step ahead of them.

Another vital component of defending yourself actively is to learn how to use your body effectively.  Notice that we are not just talking about delivering blows.  You do not have to become the female equivalent of Bruce Lee in order to regain your confidence and defend yourself if the situation demands it.  What you do need to do, however, is learn how to move, how to escape holds, and how (and most importantly, where) to strike, to bring a strong man to his knees.

Filed Under: Sexual Abuse Tagged With:

The Victim is Dead

January 8, 2011 by Leave a Comment

When a woman gets raped, a small part of her dies.  You can call it “innocence” if you want, but it is not really that in most cases.  It might be that a part of her naivete dies, as she finally realizes that in some cases she has been powerless for her entire life time.  Perhaps her self confidence falls into a sort of coma, as she no longer feels powerful and proud, and sinks into feeling weak and ashamed of what has gone on.  But while a part of the woman does die, another part is either born, or emerges with a newfound “strength”- the victim.  Every woman (and indeed, every person) has a victim inside of themselves, which is given a sickly sort of power to come out and gloat over their powerlessness after an event like being raped.  Fortunately, this victim can be killed.

While it might sound harsh to want to “kill” the victim, this is not the case at all.  As a matter of fact, killing your inner victim does not hurt anything about you.  Rather, it strengthens you to continue onward in your life, as your inner victim’s energy is absorbed, and can be redirected toward more useful pursuits (like just about anything).  But of course, killing your inner victim is not simply a matter of doing affirmations or visualizing its death.

Your inner victim feeds on your sense of self doubt.  When you doubt yourself, you put up blocks in your path to any kind of positive progress.  Often, after a terrible event like being raped, a person actually begins to believe that they are not worthy of achieving any kind of success in life.  In order to kill the victim, you have got to take control of your life as much as you possibly can.  So freelance, volunteer, take self defense classes, learn to shoot guns- just do something that makes you feel powerful and in control.

Filed Under: Disabilities Tagged With:

Denying Rape Leads to Long-Term Consequences

January 4, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Rape is most prevalent among young women, with men being the perpetrators. However, both men and women of all ages are potential victims of rape. Rape itself is physically, emotionally, and psychologically damaging. Often times, a victim is too embarrassed to come forward, based on the circumstances. For example, a young college student raped after drinking might feel that she somehow deserved being victimized. However, telling yourself things like this is not helpful, and you do not do yourself any justice.

Rape victims are never at fault, though feelings of guilt are common. In many cases, instances of rape go unreported and the victim is left with the aftermath. Although it may not seem like a big deal at first, the emotional and psychological damage of rape can be prevalent in your life for years to come if you do not address the issues. Former rape victims are often isolated and angry. In addition, they have a difficult time forming relationships, and can have a disdain towards women or men, depending on the gender of the original perpetrator.

If you are a past rape victim, there are still ways to get help even long after you are able to make a case against a perpetrator. Rape cases are only dismissed due to a lack of evidence. Try talking to a close relative or friend. If you are in a situation where your family tries to hide the incident, then they are not helping you, but actually hindering your efforts of recovering from rape trauma.

There are a plethora of counselors that can help rape victims recover from the psychological damage left by the perpetrator. Do not avoid counseling for fear that you cannot afford it. There is help available sometimes at no cost through interpersonal counseling as well as through telephone hotlines. Victims never deserve rape or the following personal impacts.

Filed Under: Mental Health Tagged With: ,

Denying Rape Leads to Long-Term Consequences

December 21, 2010 by Leave a Comment

Rape is most prevalent among young women, with men being the perpetrators. However, both men and women of all ages are potential victims of rape. Rape itself is physically, emotionally, and psychologically damaging. Often times, a victim is too embarrassed to come forward, based on the circumstances. For example, a young college student raped after drinking might feel that she somehow deserved being victimized. However, telling yourself things like this is not helpful, and you do not do yourself any justice.

Rape victims are never at fault, though feelings of guilt are common. In many cases, instances of rape go unreported and the victim is left with the aftermath. Although it may not seem like a big deal at first, the emotional and psychological damage of rape can be prevalent in your life for years to come if you do not address the issues. Former rape victims are often isolated and angry. In addition, they have a difficult time forming relationships, and can have a disdain towards women or men, depending on the gender of the original perpetrator.

If you are a past rape victim, there are still ways to get help even long after you are able to make a case against a perpetrator. Rape cases are only dismissed due to a lack of evidence. Try talking to a close relative or friend. If you are in a situation where your family tries to hide the incident, then they are not helping you, but actually hindering your efforts of recovering from rape trauma.

There are a plethora of counselors that can help rape victims recover from the psychological damage left by the perpetrator. Do not avoid counseling for fear that you cannot afford it. There is help available sometimes at no cost through interpersonal counseling as well as through telephone hotlines. Victims never deserve rape or the following personal impacts.

Filed Under: Disabilities, Sexual Abuse Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Pregnancy from Rape: Know Your Options

December 16, 2010 by Leave a Comment

The physical and emotional violations incurred during and after being raped are enough to have lasting effects. In some cases, women who are raped become pregnant. This is a difficult situation, considering the fact that you may be trying to get over being raped, let alone deal with being pregnant.

At this point, new questions may come to light. Do you keep the baby? Should you have an abortion? What are your options? What is the right thing to do?

The last question may depend upon your own morals and religious beliefs. Most people that are pro-life are conservative Christians. Extremely conservative people believe that you should keep any baby, no matter what the circumstances are. It wasn’t fair that you were raped, but it isn’t the baby’s fault that he was conceived in such a matter.

On the flip side, maybe you don’t want a baby or are financially unstable. Or the thought of having a baby from a rapist is just too much to handle. It’s justifiable to have such feelings. How could you possibly take care of a baby when you need to take care of yourself right now?

There is no right or wrong decision in this matter, as every situation is different. The thing to remember is that it is your decision, and yours alone to make. If you decide to keep the baby, there are support groups available to help you. If you do not have the money, there are various government programs to ensure that you and your baby receive proper health care and nutrition.

If you decide that having this baby is the wrong thing to do, you can see your gynecologist to discuss abortion options. She may refer you to a surgeon or recommend the abortion pill.

Also consider taking the morning after pill if you are raped in order to prevent unwanted pregnancy in the first place.

Filed Under: Domestic Abuse, Sexual Abuse Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Should You Take Precautions To Avoid Rape? Or Does It Sound Abominable?

November 30, 2010 by Leave a Comment

What precautions should one take to avoid rape? This is a very contentious issue for some. There are divergent opinions on this issue. One line of thought states that the act of rape is the result of the intention of the rapist. In such a scenario, placing the burden of avoiding rape on the victim does not make sense.

The approach believes that it does not matter whether the victim takes precautions or not. What matters is whether the rapist is it stopped from perpetrating the heinous crime or not. On the other hand, the other line of thought adopts a more practical and pragmatic approach. It points out that the victim is the suffering party irrespective of who has the intention and who commits the crime. In such a scenario, the victim can establish control by taking necessary precautions.

The latter approach is criticized for perpetrating the mindset that the victim, at the end of the day, is ultimately to blame for the rape. If precautions are taken and yet the crime occurs, the victim is blamed for not taking sufficient measures. This criticism that emphasis should be on the rapist and not on the victim seems logical and fair.

In such a scenario, striking the right balance becomes very difficult. This is something that each and every individual will have to choose depending on personal preferences. There is no need to make changes to one’s behavior or dressing style to avoid or prevent rape. However, it certainly is possible to protect oneself by opting for a pepper spray or undergoing a martial arts course.

At the end of the day, the person who stands to lose the most has to bear the responsibility of taking adequate security measures. Whether the measures are proactive or are based on a defensive mindset depends on personal choice. To simply blame others or to indulge in theoretical arguments is not the sensible way out.

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Filed Under: Rehab Tagged With: , ,
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