Preventing Child Abuse

March 24, 2011 by Leave a Comment

As a parent you do what ever you can to protect your children. The rate for child abuse and sexual abuse is at an all time high. For girls, one in four will experience sexual abuse before they turn 18 and one in six boys will be abused sexually before they’re 18. Most of child abuse cases were the result of a family member or friend abusing the kid.

It’s important to know what the warning signs would be for child abuse. It’s the main step in preventing your child from having to go through this. Many kids won’t completely understand what’s going on and they could be scared or embarrassed to say anything. This is why knowing the signs of child abuse are crucial in preventing it.

The biggest signs of child abuse would be redness or swelling in their genital area. They might also get a urinary tract infection. There are several emotional signs of abuse that would include depression, sudden anger and withdrawal.

If your child all of a sudden is too scared to be around a family member, ask why. That could be a sign that something’s happening.

If you’re suspecting that something is happening to your child, make sure he or she is never alone with another adult. Even is the adult is a person you know well, even trust. Often times your child will be abused by a close friend or family member, even a person you love and trust. That person will even do whatever they can to gain your trust and get alone time with your child.

Be open and honest. Talk to them about what abuse is and how it should never happen. Keep communicating with your child so they know they can talk to you about anything.

This is your child’s life you’re protecting, do what ever you can to prevent child abuse from happening.

Filed Under: Domestic Abuse, Preventing Tagged With: , ,

Healing After Dealing With Sexual Abuse As A Child

March 9, 2011 by Leave a Comment

More people are finding that it’s hard dealing with the horrific fact that they were sexually abused as a child. There are aftereffects for anyone who experience abuse.

Most of the time as a child you’re repressing those horrible memories and you’ve been able to forget about it until you’re an adult. There are people who as adults remember vividly the sexual abuse they experience when they were a kid. Healing after dealing with sexual abuse as a child can be difficult for many people, but it’s something that in time will happen. As a child, you’re unable to fully understand what’s going on let alone know how to heal.

The first step in the healing process would be to admit that it happened and that it was a serious crime and you were horribly violated. Anyone who has experience any kind of abuse usually suffers from low self-esteem, which was caused from the abuser.

Going to a support group or therapist could help the healing process since talking about horrific events could help. A therapist will be there with you so you’re able to deal with the emotional pain and effects of being sexual abused when you were a kid. Keeping things built up inside is only going to make things worse.

There are more than just focus groups you can attend; you have the option to be part of a program that’s a 12-step that’s for survivors of sexual abuse.   There are many groups that hospitals and clinics are offering to those who were victims of sexual abuse as a child.

Some professionals have even said that writing in a journal is a great way for a victim to start their healing process. Sometimes people can’t share their thoughts out loud and writing about it could help. Another option would be to write multiple letters to your abusers. These letters won’t be mailed, it’s another way to speak your mind and be open and honest about how you’re feeling.

These are things that you can do when you’re trying to move on from being sexual abused.

Filed Under: Domestic Abuse, Sexual Abuse Tagged With: , ,

Recognizing The Signs A Child Is Being Sexually Abused

February 8, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Sexual abuse is a horrific ordeal that no one should experience. The sad fact is a relative, an acquaintance or a stranger, is out there sexually abusing kids. People that we trust to take care of our children are in fact abusing them. More parents are finding it hard to trust anyone with their kids these days. When it comes to your children, you do what you can to protect them.

It’s crucial to keep communicating with your children and watch for potential signs that your child is being sexually abused.

Keep an eye on how your kid’s posture is. If he becomes in pain all of a sudden or has a hard time walking or sitting down, speak to them. You’re their parents so don’t back down when they fight you after you ask to see their bodies. Most kids who are being abused will be threatened or have their family threatened by the abuser, causing the kid to be too scared to talk.

If you notice your child is rubbing himself in the genital area and a seductive manner all of a sudden or use words that are filthy, that’s a huge sign a child is being sexually abused. If you think anything is going on, it’s important to report it to the police. Children under the age of 12 will never act this way unless someone is teaching them how to.

Be on the lookout for your kid to become really shy and scared. If he or she is too scared to change in gym class because people are around, this is another sign of sexual abuse.

Other common signs of sexual abuse include having nightmares, not being able to sleep, wetting the bed, not eating as much or they’re afraid to be alone.

If you notice any of these signs than your child is in trouble, take action immediately.

Filed Under: Drug Treatment, Sexual Abuse Tagged With: , ,

Nymphomania and Early Abuse

January 29, 2011 by Leave a Comment

A lot of people are aware of “nymphos” as they are commonly called.  Nymphomania is a fairly common ailment in which a woman’s sex drive is extremely high.  And while having a high sex drive is not necessarily having nymphomania, it has the two distinct symptoms of having little interest in discriminating between different sexual activities, and having an equally indiscriminant view of their different partners (and nymphomaniacs tend to have a very large number of them).  And while there is most likely a biological basis for desiring a large amount of sex, often times this is as a subconscious result of having been molested as a child.  While the desire may show up completely consciously, the motivations for it are often hidden beneath the surface.

Nymphomaniacs are often very flippant about the types of sex that they are having, the partners that they are having it with, and anything else regarding the “sensible” parts of sexuality.  Often they do not care if they use protection from diseases, or even if they use birth control.  Their primary desire is to experience the stimulation of sexual excitement, pure and simple.  Adding additional complications on top of that would only be a distraction to that overriding purpose.  But of course, this is not just about pleasure for its own sake.

In a very large number of cases, the nymphomaniac is a woman whose girlhood was marked with sexual abuse.  While she might not think anything about it, or may play off the early abuse as something that is ancient history, it does continue to color her attachment to (and pursuit of) sexuality.  After all, the early abuse may have been by a man whom she trusted and loved.  With such a basis, she may be subconsciously associating the acquisition of sex with being loved, accepted or trusted.  She may even come to see sexuality as a tool by which she can manipulate other people and get something.

Filed Under: Sexual Abuse Tagged With:

How Children Show Signs of Abuse

December 17, 2010 by Leave a Comment

Children have a more difficult type expressing abuse. In some cases, they are too young to explain it or are so used to it that it is a regular occurrence to them. In other cases, children are afraid to talk. Abusive adults will belittle them and make them feel that they have no where to turn to. If they do, there can be greater consequences.

First, it is important to note that there are different types of abuse. Physical abuse is the most predominant type of abuse, but it can be hard to detect if the child hides the evidence under clothing or bandages. If you ask about burns, scratches, or bruises, a child will typically act nervous and make up a lie, deeming the cause as an accident.

Neglect is another form of abuse. In such cases, you can visibly see that the child is not properly cared for, and perhaps has torn clothing or is unkempt. Neglect also involves constantly leaving a child home alone or failure to pick them up from places such as school.

Emotional abuse also involves neglect, but encompasses other signs. Emotionally abusive parents constantly talk down to their child, making them feel worthless and unloved. A lack of self-esteem is exhibited by children who are emotionally abused. Such children also act below their age.

Children also exhibit certain signs of sexual abuse. They may be afraid to go home or be around other adults. During gym or sports activities, they might not want to go to the locker room. Bedwetting is common in younger sexually abused children.

The last thing you want to do is wrongly accuse a parent of child abuse. In some cases, it is difficult to detect. When in doubt, seek the advice of a counselor or attempt to approach the child your self. If you ever suspect child abuse, do not hesitate to contact your local child welfare agency.

Filed Under: Domestic Abuse, Sexual Abuse Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Rape And Sexual Abuse – Talk About It To Enable Victims To Speak Out

November 27, 2010 by Leave a Comment

Our attitude towards rape and sexual abuse indicates the flaws in the way women are treated in our society. For starters, people think of females as the victim the moment of somebody mentions rape or sexual abuse. There is no doubt that majority of the rape victims are women. However, there is also no denying that majority of the rape cases never get reported. In such a scenario, possibility of a large number of men and boys being raped and the cases going unreported cannot be denied.

Most of us presume that are such instances cannot happen in our family. We visualize rapes as acts perpetrated by strangers on female family member. The truth is that majority of the rapes are done by those individuals who were known to the victim. Secondly, the crime may not be restricted to females only. Even young male individuals are equally susceptible to sexual abuse.

This may not be a very appealing task but it is essential to talk about these things in the family. Each and every family member must be encouraged to be open about such matters. The last thing you want is for your family member to conclude that support may be absent due to the closed attitude towards rape or sexual abuse.

Many persons react with shock and disbelief when they discover that their family member suffered the trauma but did not trust them enough to be open about it. One cannot expect a victim of rape or sexual abuse to be completely logical and sensible about future actions. Rather, the onus is upon the family to hammer the message that it can be relied upon for support no matter what happens.

Such an approach may also lead to discussions about things that otherwise would not take place. Such transparency may help youngsters follow precautions that may reduce risk of mistakes that may lead to instances of sexual abuse.

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Filed Under: Rehab, Sex, Sexual Abuse Tagged With: , ,

How To Protect Your Young Children From Rape And Sexual Abuse?

November 22, 2010 by Leave a Comment

Is your son or daughter beginning to move around independently without your constant guidance? There comes an age when the child is no longer interested in being accompanied by the parent all the time. If you try to stick around despite this, you will end up being tagged as a conservative parent and will become a source of embarrassment for your child. However, there is no denying that there are too many risks involved in letting the child to move around without any adult supervision.

A trip to the movie in the nearby mall can become a huge security risk if the child is not cautious. It is a big bad world out there and no amount of self denial is going to change it. In such a scenario, it is very important to arrange for safety of the child from threat of rape and sexual abuse.

Do not expect others to agree with your risk assessment. You cannot ask the child to take care of these things. They need more exposure and maturity to understand the implications of such events on their life. Of course, you can set the ground rules and insist that the child should not talk to strangers. However, you cannot simply trust the child to take care of these issues. You have to be proactive until you are satisfied that the child is smart enough to take care of these things.

Take advantage of technology. Combine it with strict discipline. Give a cell phone to your child to ensure constant contact. Establish a curfew time and insist on strict obedience. It is better to err on side of caution to reduce risk of rape and sexual abuse. Remember, these precautions are applicable to your girl ball as well as your body. Do not simply presume that boys are free of risk because they happen to be male.

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Filed Under: Disabilities, Sex, Sexual Abuse Tagged With: , ,

How To Support A Family Member Who Is Victim Of Rape Or Sexual Abuse?

November 19, 2010 by Leave a Comment

How should you support a family member who has suffered from rape or sexual abuse? Well, it is impossible to be mentally prepared for such a horrific event. However, it is important to move on and understand what needs to be done. The person may take a long time to come out of the shock and trauma caused by the event.

It is natural for the individual to feel a sense of a nameless fear and hesitation to place trust after the event. Such a trauma is not going to be forgotten in just a day or two. Needless to say, taking care of such a family member is going to place a lot of strain on family bonding. An understanding and caring approach is necessary to not just help the person but also keep the family together.

It is natural to feel pity and sympathy for the family member affected by the crime. However, such sympathy, if not used constructively, may simply serve as a reminder to the family member of the trauma suffered. It may sound cruel but it is the job of the family members to encourage the individual to move on. Of course, the victim still feeling the pain may not take this suggestion in the right spirit. However, a patient and sensitive approach will send the message across that there is no point in dwelling on the past and that it is necessary to move on.

Do not try to be everything for the affected family member all at once. You cannot be a friend, philosopher, guide, mentor, adviser and also offer a shoulder to cry on at the same time. If you share a close relationship with the victim, it may be very difficult to admit that others may be better placed to help the victim. Your proximity may make the victim uncomfortable in seeking your help. Be there when needed- that is what family members are there for.

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Filed Under: Sex, Sexual Abuse Tagged With: , ,

Helping An Abuse Victim as a Friend or Family Member

November 2, 2010 by Leave a Comment

Do you have a friend, family member, or other loved one who is a victim of abuse? Do you know how to assist that person in the very best way? The support of loved ones can be a determining factor in how quickly a victim of abuse recovers. There are many things you can do to help.

First, listen. Victims need to communicate thoughts and feelings as they recover. This can be a difficult situation for you, but simply letting them explain how they feel or even just letting them vent about what they are feeling can make a huge difference. You can show support for the individual in many other ways, but through listening, you show that you are really there for them and that you truly care.

Help them seek professional help. In addition to your support, victims need sensitive medical counseling or other kinds of professional help.

Watch for signs that the victim might be inappropriately channeling stress. In some cases, victims of abuse may need help from drug and alcohol treatment centers because they’ve turned to substances or alcohol to help them cope with their situation.

You need to realize that there’s a limit to how much you can help. You may experience feelings of anger, frustration, and helplessness. You should suppress the urge to express those feelings to the survivor. This is very important during the times when the victim may be silent, crying or internalizing.

Remember that you may need special care in this situation as you strive to be sensitive to your loved one. These types of situations can be stressful and detrimental to the closest support person. Since you may not be able to express some emotions, you might want to find other friends or even trained professionals in whom you can confide.

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Filed Under: Rehab, Sex, Sexual Abuse Tagged With: , ,

Help for Child Abuse

October 22, 2010 by Leave a Comment
Children in Khorixas, Namibia
Image via Wikipedia

When a child is abused sexually, it is sometimes called molestation. Many times the other person involved is still a child or fairly young also. The majority of the time, they were abused when they were children themselves. It is significant to note that most children who are abused do not speak up. Often they have been threatened by them or they promise they will hurt others that they love. They think that by not speaking out they are actually helping the situation.

Even if they did want to, there are social taboos that the child would be enmeshed in for the rest of his life. Many feel very guilty since it happened at the time when they were becoming naturally curious about the human body. This is the age that the offender targets and they look for children of that age primarily. This occurs in all social classes and any ethnic group. The average targeted age is between nine and ten years old for both girls and boys.

The highest percentage of the children targeted are Caucasian children. Indecent exposure is also considered a form of abuse and so is showing pornography to a child. If you notice that a child of this age has had a dramatic change in behavior and is now exhibiting a withdrawn personality, it may be a good idea to engage them in a conversation and perhaps refer them to a trusted adult figure. If they begin to act out, it would be wise to refer them to a hot line or contact the counseling center of the school. This could be happening in the home or any other close familial seeing group.

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Filed Under: Domestic Abuse, Sexual Abuse Tagged With: , , , , , , ,
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