Denying Rape Leads to Long-Term Consequences

Rape is most prevalent among young women, with men being the perpetrators. However, both men and women of all ages are potential victims of rape. Rape itself is physically, emotionally, and psychologically damaging. Often times, a victim is too embarrassed to come forward, based on the circumstances. For example, a young college student raped after drinking might feel that she somehow deserved being victimized. However, telling yourself things like this is not helpful, and you do not do yourself any justice.

Rape victims are never at fault, though feelings of guilt are common. In many cases, instances of rape go unreported and the victim is left with the aftermath. Although it may not seem like a big deal at first, the emotional and psychological damage of rape can be prevalent in your life for years to come if you do not address the issues. Former rape victims are often isolated and angry. In addition, they have a difficult time forming relationships, and can have a disdain towards women or men, depending on the gender of the original perpetrator.

If you are a past rape victim, there are still ways to get help even long after you are able to make a case against a perpetrator. Rape cases are only dismissed due to a lack of evidence. Try talking to a close relative or friend. If you are in a situation where your family tries to hide the incident, then they are not helping you, but actually hindering your efforts of recovering from rape trauma.

There are a plethora of counselors that can help rape victims recover from the psychological damage left by the perpetrator. Do not avoid counseling for fear that you cannot afford it. There is help available sometimes at no cost through interpersonal counseling as well as through telephone hotlines. Victims never deserve rape or the following personal impacts.

Seeing the Big Picture Problems

Many victims of rape or sexual abuse are victimized at least twice; once by the person who assaulted them and once by themselves. Oftentimes, this isn’t the limit of the victimization. If legal charges are pressed, the courtroom (and especially police interviews leading up to it) can lack understanding in a fundamental way. It’s incredibly important to understand that, even if you may have made some mistakes—just like everyone inevitably does, what happened is absolutely not your fault.

One of the hurdles to understanding this is that many rape or sexual abuse victims do not want to have hard feelings toward their attacker. Though this may seem strange, it’s important to remember that most rapes are not stranger rapes, but actions from people who the victim knows and likely even trusted. This is part of what makes the crime so incredibly damaging—so damaging, in fact, that noticeable recovery usually takes years of therapy and even prescription medication.

Even without the big picture of what’s going on, it’s important to acknowledge that the person—whatever other strengths they may have—did something absolutely terrible. The next step beyond this can often be toward a form of reconciliation, however, and a part of that is seeing the big picture problems.

The truth is that we live in a culture that creates opportunities and even motivation for sexual violence. The primary form of communication in regards to sexuality is silence, men are raised in a typically sexist environment where violence is seen as normal, and sex is seen as the primary social evaluation for young-adult males, and the consequences of rape (even rape that happens because of sheer ignorance on the man’s part) are not understood. These things create a world that is dangerous to live in. By seeing this, it’s possible to direct feelings of anger and injustice in a healthier direction.

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The Effects of Rape

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The effects of rape are a twisted weave of physical and emotional horror. Many people do not comprehend that physical force is not always present, yet it can still be rape. There are some who intend to rape and then commit murder. The reality is that the victim lives and looks as usual on the exterior. Unfortunately, the majority feel dead on the inside because of the trauma. It is something that remains a detailed memory no matter how hard you try to put it out of your mind. In fact most keep reliving it because the are in such disbelief that it actually happened.

Most people will suggest counseling for many emotional issues. As a victim of rape, it is overwhelming to talk about, especially to a stranger. Once you begin healing physical, you can gather up the strength to work on recovering emotionally. Sometimes the ones who should be your support system are the ones who may not believe you or become impatient with your reactions. If you have little physical wounds, they may down play your experience and even give you a hard time for changing your personality. They may even begin to treat you differently.

You must persevere, however. It could take a few months or many years to heal. It is important to begin your processing as soon as possible. You may be stubborn because you are thinking that there is no way you can erase this horrible image and some days you feel that you can never scrub hard enough to wash all of the slime off of you. How fortunate that we have theInternet to go to at any hour of the day or night. When you are feeling disoriented or having a flash back, you can remain anonymous if you like and find a kind word and a support group immediately.

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Rape in the United States

According to the United States Department of Justice, every day, every two minutes some one, usually a woman, is raped in the United States. How can this be possible, you may ask. We must get past the astonishment and concentrate on improving the accepted way that most people deal with each other. The mistreatment of others is never okay. Even if no one else is watching or it appears that no one would care, it is not okay to abuse. Our society is in a transition and it is critical that we not bully or ostracize any member on purpose just because some one is having a bad day.

Too many times, a victim of abuse is treated badly by the very people that they felt for sure would be their support system and expected that they would be the first ones to help out. People are now more inclined to lash out quickly so that they will be considered the dominant one. Doesn’t the strength come in standing for what you believe in? In that case, what do people today believe? It is sad to see so many people who feel that they do not have the strength or conviction to take the first initiative and right some thing that is obviously wrong.

In the case of rape, not only is the victim in disbelief that they were treated that way, many of the people who hear about it may not respond in a supportive way. If they support the victim, then, their life, as they know it will end also. Since the rapist is usually a family member or an acquaintance, they now have to pick sides. Many choose the accused rapist because if he denies it, nothing has to be changed and things can go on as their perceived normal.

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A Safe Place to Heal

To help a rape victim deal with and reduce the number of flashbacks, the therapist often uses a technique called prolonged exposure. This is basically the process of confrontation in a controlled environment. The rape victim learns to trust that they are in a safe place and begins the journey of opening up the memory of the trauma in order to heal. This should also decrease any panic attacks the victim may have been experiencing. The victims are trained to cope with their own reactions as they repeat similar situations during therapy.

Developing the necessary coping skills is a key element since the healing process uncovers many layers of the abuse and high lights many unhealthy choices. For example, substance abuse could most likely be another issue needing to be dealt with in order for the victim to heal. If the parties involved have been self medicating with drugs in order to dull the emotional pain and distorting their reality, the treatment for healing will be lengthy.

It is good for the victim to have resources available and understand that rape is not really about the sex, it is the person’s frustration with power and control issues. A good support group can help the victim get back to normal sooner. They can help by including her in activities and give a little extra strength when she appears to feel a bit unraveled. They will be the ones to encourage the victim to seek out help. Rape is aggressive and degrading. A victim should not be made to feel intimidated after the assault by a group of family members that she can not trust and that do not support her.

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