Relationship Between Domestic Abuse and Money Problems

December 19, 2010 by Leave a Comment

Money troubles are the top reason why couples get divorced. Money issues can strain all types of relationships, whether you are married or not. Although money is not everything, our livelihood depends on it. You cannot pay rent or mortgage, pay for transportation, or even buy necessities such as food and clothing without it. The less money there is going around, the more stress there is.

Money often lead to blame. A laid-off father feels like less of a man and he can feel even worse if he thinks the family looks down upon him. Instances like an unprecedented unemployment rate cannot be helped, but it does not improve a family’s situation or bring about that lost income. Blaming a partner increases stress and leads to a greater chance of abuse. This can be physical or emotional. In fact, incessant blaming is a form of emotional abuse.

Whenever the economy turns, instances of abuse increase. The news fills with stories of family members that snap and turn on each other. In worse case scenarios, some even kill out of emotion and desperation. Although such persons are pressured, this is certainly not an excuse for violence. In fact, some people may use this as an excuse to justify their actions.

Given the increased chance of abuse from a lack of money, some wrongly conclude that a plethora of money will solve their needs. It is not the amount of money that puts families at ease, but the lack of stress from having enough money so that a family can meet its basic needs.

No matter what your family’s financial circumstance, there is never an excuse for violence. If you and your partner’s money issues are affecting your relationship, seek counseling. If you are a victim of abuse, seek professional help or ask a friend for help. Whenever faced with a financial crisis, it is best to keep your cool and work on issues together.

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How Children Show Signs of Abuse

December 17, 2010 by Leave a Comment

Children have a more difficult type expressing abuse. In some cases, they are too young to explain it or are so used to it that it is a regular occurrence to them. In other cases, children are afraid to talk. Abusive adults will belittle them and make them feel that they have no where to turn to. If they do, there can be greater consequences.

First, it is important to note that there are different types of abuse. Physical abuse is the most predominant type of abuse, but it can be hard to detect if the child hides the evidence under clothing or bandages. If you ask about burns, scratches, or bruises, a child will typically act nervous and make up a lie, deeming the cause as an accident.

Neglect is another form of abuse. In such cases, you can visibly see that the child is not properly cared for, and perhaps has torn clothing or is unkempt. Neglect also involves constantly leaving a child home alone or failure to pick them up from places such as school.

Emotional abuse also involves neglect, but encompasses other signs. Emotionally abusive parents constantly talk down to their child, making them feel worthless and unloved. A lack of self-esteem is exhibited by children who are emotionally abused. Such children also act below their age.

Children also exhibit certain signs of sexual abuse. They may be afraid to go home or be around other adults. During gym or sports activities, they might not want to go to the locker room. Bedwetting is common in younger sexually abused children.

The last thing you want to do is wrongly accuse a parent of child abuse. In some cases, it is difficult to detect. When in doubt, seek the advice of a counselor or attempt to approach the child your self. If you ever suspect child abuse, do not hesitate to contact your local child welfare agency.

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How to Break the Pattern of Consecutive Abusive Relationships

December 8, 2010 by Leave a Comment

Abuse can occur in any type of relationship, whether it be between spouses, friends, co-workers, and parent and child. There are also different forms of abuse. Physical is the most obvious, while emotional abuse is the most common. Abuse is stemmed from a person’s desire to control another. It is easier to try and control someone you are close to, since you know their vulnerabilities. People who control others in an abusive relationship are likely to do so in other relationships.

You may have been in an abusive relationship and were able to leave it after some time. It takes a lot of courage and can be frightening, particularly if the perpetrator threatens you with violence, lack of money, or by ruining your reputation in some way. In some cases, victims of abusive relationships might undergo abuse in other future relationships.

Keep in mind that abuse stems from a longing for control. Some victims are more susceptible to control, perhaps because have a laid-back personality. In other cases, victims have been abused for so many years that they do not know any other way. Those who were victims of parental abuse, for example, are more likely to become victims in other relationships during adulthood.

Abuse is never the victim’s fault. However, if you find yourself getting out of one abusive relationship only to enter another, it may be time to reflect on this pattern. What is it that attracts you to these relationships? Does the controlling aspect initially make you feel secure? By figuring out these factors, you may help yourself break the pattern of abusive relationships.

It is hard to figure out the answers, especially if you have been a long-term victim of abuse. Counseling can help you recover from abuse and help give you the self-esteem and courage to break free from abusive cycles.

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Child Witnesses: When Family Violence Seems Normal

December 6, 2010 by Leave a Comment

It is difficult to imagine that violence is considered the norm in some families. It is even more disheartening to think that children might grow up witnessing violence and thinking that the behavior is acceptable. Children are impressionable and the way their parents behave towards other people helps mold their behavioral skills.

In some homes, a parent is regularly violent against the other parent. Younger children are more likely to think that such actions are normal. For example, a father might hit a child’s mother out of shear anger. For someone extremely young these actions probably seem okay, since it is assumed that parents know everything and are always right.

The older that children become, they might recognize that these behaviors are not acceptable. They will begin to identify the emotions of the victim and recognize any violent patterns that exist in the home. Children will also see their friends’ families and how they act toward one another. If violence is not the norm in those households, then the child will begin to question his families’ actions.

It becomes more disconcerting is a child is abused by his parents. Again, the violence may seem normal to a young child because he doesn’t know any different. Once he is more emotionally developed and exposed to the world, he may recognize that he is a victim of parental abuse.

How does a child get help when a normal child usually turns to her parents for any life crisis? Children are not as apt to come forward since they are afraid of an abusive parent. The abuse may also make them question the reliability of other adults in their life. If a child does come to you, listen carefully and contact the appropriate authorities. Also do the same if you alone suspect family violence going on in a particular household.

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Female Abusers are Not Uncommon

December 3, 2010 by Leave a Comment

When you think about relationship abuse, you are more likely to picture a man as an abuser and a female as a victim. Surprisingly, the number of female abusers is on the rise. There are a variety of factors for this, just as there are a number of psychological reasons why people abuse others in the first place. The fact remains that abusing is not just a man’s role, but women abuse men in their lives as well.

Abuse stems from control. In the past, women were expected to be subservient to their husbands. As a result, many women did not put up a fight against relationship abuse. Sadly, abuse was accepted and rarely questioned. The role of a woman was to please their man in every way. If they came up short, then they deserved it.

Since the feminist movement, an awareness of relationship violence has increased. In today’s society, it is expected that women be treated equally. To follow suit, boys are raised to treat girls with respect.

The change in society may explain why there is an increase in abuse on the part of women. This is not because women expect to be more powerful, but rather these particular women do not fear the consequences of abusing their men. In most cases, the abuse is emotional. These women want everything on their terms. Thus, they control their partners, make them feel guilty, and belittle them in order to get their way. Today, the majority of men do not fight back against female abuse, because they are taught to hold their partners with the utmost respect.

Respect is a critical part of any successful relationship. However, respect does not equate to an excuse for relationship abuse. The dynamics of abuse are becoming more difficult to identify as both sexes can equally be the perpetrators.

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Having An Ego Is Essential To Recover From The Problem Of Domestic Abuse

November 12, 2010 by Leave a Comment

Most individuals underestimate the extent of damage they have suffered due to sexual or domestic abuse. There are innumerable instances where healthy relationships have gone awry because of the person is past experience with abuse. When individual finally walks out of an abusive relationship, he or she invariably loses trust on all human relationships.

This means that the friends and relatives who have supported the victim often end up getting ignored and even insulted. You must understand that this is not intentional. Rather, it is an attempt by the individual to restore balance. The fact that your support was required is obviously going to hurt the ego of the individual.

This may sound paradoxical but the truth is that a person who was willing to submit to domestic abuse from their partner will not be pleased about the fact that he or she has obtained favors from you. You must encourage this paradox because this is the best way to set the individual on the path of recovery. You cannot be there all the time to protect the person from abuse. Rather, you will have to inflate the ego and the confidence of the individual to such an extent that he or she never accepts abuse again.

Former counseling may be required if the extent of abuse has been ongoing for very long time. Do not overestimate your capacity to understand the extent of the problem. Your desire to make everything all right very quickly may work counter productive.

In some cases, it is necessary for the individual to introspect and brood over the loss suffered. This may run contrary to your desires and expectations. Rather than enforcing your view, it is better to have a formally trained counselor take over the task. You can do your bit by directing the individual to the right counselor for maximum benefits.

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Filed Under: Disabilities, Domestic Abuse Tagged With: , ,

Domestic Abuse – Numerous Official And Non Official Remedies Available

November 1, 2010 by Leave a Comment

What is preventing you from walking out of an abusive relationship? In most cases, it is a fear that the person may go out of control and may cause physical injury if you fulfill your threat to leave the relationship.

Well, nobody is asking you to be impulsive and put yourself at risk. However, there is a huge difference in taking steps to move out of relationship safely and sticking to it out of fear. You may feel scared to inform the abusive partner to his or her face that you are moving out. However, there is nothing stopping you from walking out of the house bag and baggage when he or she is not around.

What if you are stopped and what if you were treated with violence? Well, you have the right to walk into the nearest the police station and file a complaint. Informing the police that you have been abused will be sufficient to put your partner behind bars.

If you don’t want the matter to reach an official level, you can always have the law enforcement authorities have a word with your partner to lay off from troubling you. In most cases, the fact that you had the courage to walk up to law enforcement authorities will be sufficient to help the abusive partner subside.

If you are not comfortable walking into a police station on your own, you can make use of various support organizations that help people overcome domestic abuse. It may not be necessarily physical abuse. You will get advice on how to prove that you have been abused and how you can overcome the problem.

You will even get advice on how to get a job and how to get fun and joy back in your life. Getting support from third parties will also help you clarify many doubts that may be plaguing you.

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Why Do People Hide Their Domestic Abuse Tales? Read Ahead To Know More

October 27, 2010 by Leave a Comment

To not be surprised if your best friend is suffering from domestic abuse but you have not been told anything about it. Many persons act astonished because they expect their friends to confess with them. However, very few persons understand the level of shame and embarrassment involved.

We all have spoken in grand terms about our independence and our self respect. When somebody that uses you, physically or emotionally, it is a direct attack on your self respect. The fact that you are continuing to live with such a person despite the abuse clearly shows that you do not value yourself. Further, it shows that you are insecure about your future and that you want the company of a partner even if it comes at a very high cost.

Convincing all these points can be very embarrassing because it is an admission of guilt. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. The fact that you are feeling inferior clearly shows that you have given your consent. Things are very difficult after the information is passed on to friends and relatives. For starters, people will react with pity and sympathy but it will also result in a complete lack of respect for the individual.

This is natural because no individual ought to submit to domestic abuse. Yet, very few people have the maturity to understand that things are not as simple as they are in other instances.

They have been innumerable instances where relatives have tried to take over the life of the person suffering the abuse and have were started giving instructions and orders instead of providing support. Of course, each and every intervention is based on a good and noble thought. However, this can be very embarrassing and difficult for the victim. This is particularly true if he or she has a special responsibilities towards children and others.

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Filed Under: Disabilities, Domestic Abuse Tagged With: , ,

Abused by a Bully

October 20, 2010 by Leave a Comment
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It is a sad thing to note that the children who have been abused may be more inclined to show bullying behaviors. Other children who may be prone to bullying are those who are seldom supervised. In Canada, the statistics for children that are bullied is one child out of every five. They also note that one out of every twelve children are being continuously harassed. The children who appear to be the most at risk are the ones who seem the most submissive.

The child who is shy and sensitive is the one who often gets picked on. It is also the smallest or the shortest. One of the bullies may just be feeling annoyed that day. In other words, he can do what ever he thinks he wants to do whenever he wants to do it. Any one can be a target of a bully. This is a prevalent problem in schools and many authorities let it go on unchecked. When this happens, the bullying action will turn into harassment. Harassment is the term it is called when an adult is doing the bullying, which seems to be happening more and more.

When the children do this in a school setting it is a relationship issue that can be addressed and treated with proper counseling. When harassment happens to an adult,it becomes a human rights issue and this is how some wars have begun. The adults consider harassment a type of discrimination. It is interesting to note that the bullies who have been identified as such by the age of eight, are six times more likely to be the ones to be convicted of a crime when they have reached adulthood.

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Filed Under: Domestic Abuse, Sexual Abuse Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Some Tips To Help You Counter The Problem Of Domestic Abuse Better

October 20, 2010 by Leave a Comment

Read ahead for some myths surrounding domestic abuse and how you can counter the same effectively.

Domestic abuse is a matter of choice. You have the ability to choose whether you should continue suffering this or not. Many persons presume that they have got inextricably tied to the cycle of violence and cannot walk out. That is definitely not the case.

Another myth is that domestic abuse is too trivial a thing to break up the family. If you have kids, then you should not walkout simply because you are suffering a certain level of domestic abuse. Well, if you submit and suffer from abuse, it is going to set a very bad example amongst your kids.

Your male child will disrespect women if the man is abusing the woman in your family. On the other hand, the female child will learn that she is expected to submit to abuse irrespective of whether it is justified or not.

There are innumerable instances where children from abusive families have resorted to antisocial activities at a very early age. Watching parents a fight and watching one party dominate the other leads to psychological problems.

Opting for divorce and separating from your abusive partner can be a painful process. However, sticking around is only going to cause more damage to the psyche of your children.

Finally, a person who is not financially independent cannot afford to avoid domestic abuse. Well, this is a self fulfilling cycle. You do not have financial support because of which you are abused. You are abused because of which you never end up being financially independent.

You will have to take the leap of faith and overcome the crisis the way you want. Do not set preconditions that may take a long time to be fulfilled. Rather, focus on adopting a practical and goal oriented approach.

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Filed Under: Disabilities, Domestic Abuse Tagged With: , ,
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